Let’s just say I know a girl and I really like her and I ask her out. What should we do on the date? If she says no should I ask her out again in a few weeks? Any advice?

Did I mention I’m a shy person?

By the way, is it easier to be cynical or optimistic?

Paralyzed

What do you and the girl have in common? When you talk to her – if you’ve talked to her – what do you talk about? TV? Movies? Sports? Think back on your discussions to what she’s shown an interest in, and go from there. If she likes sports, maybe the two of you could go to a baseball game, or go bowling. If she’s a movie buff, well, take her to the latest Hollywood blockbuster, or to an art-house theater near where you live.

If, however, by “what should we do” you really mean “what on earth will I say to this woman for three hours if she for some reason says ‘yes,'” well, try to relax. If she said yes, the hard part’s over. Just ask her about herself and wait for the sweating to stop. If she said no, accept it and set your sights on someone else.

As for the cynicism/optimism question . . . well, I’ve heard it said that cynicism is the last refuge of the romantic, and I think that’s true. Cynicism is easier, I guess, if you really believe that it protects you from getting hurt. But it doesn’t, really.

Good luck on the date. Tell me how it goes.

[7/11/00]

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