The Vine: July 12, 2006
In looking for a good translation of Blood Wedding, I would recommend the Ted Hughes version. I am always impressed by how Mr. Hughes manages to capture not only the text of the plays he translates, but also their poetry. In particular, I recently did some work with this translation for a directing class and found it both beautiful and comprehensible, a rare feat for a theatrical translation. So, Ted Hughes, no question.
A
Thanks — several other readers suggested the Hughes translation, as well as:
Langston Hughes*
Michael Dewell and Carmen Zapata
As always, an asterisk means more than one reader mentioned it.
Hey Sars —
An acquaintance of mine from the other side of the country asked to stay four nights with me and my boyfriend. I’ve known him for a few years, but he’s not a close friend. I’m uncomfortable with the imposition but I’m pretty sure he’ll be offended if I say no. I’m more than willing to tell him there’s no room at the inn and give him suggestions of places to stay.
Is there any way to put this to him that gently suggests that the request was out of line? I’d like to see him while he’s in town, just not every morning on my way to our one bathroom. Should I just send him to this page?
Signed,
I’m 30. People don’t crash here anymore.
Dear Crash,
No, there isn’t — if you’re not going to fulfill the request, that’s all the “suggestion” you need, short of behaving rudely yourself by pointing out his bad manners.
“I’m sorry, but we won’t be able to have you stay here.” Don’t elaborate, or apologize if he chooses to get offended.
Dear Sars,
I have a lovely friend. She has a lovely mother. Lovely Mother threw lovely friend a lovely party. The food was the centepiece. Both mother and daughter are fine cooks and enjoy creating amazing feasts. I was having a ball, when both mother and daughter came up to me for a chat. The mother really is the sweetest lady and we’ve known each other for years. Problem was, she came with a tray of eggs, halved, with something weird done to the yolks so they were swirly and a kind of grey colour. Impressive, but…fuck me, I hate egg yolk. When I was about three or four, my father insisted I eat a hard-boiled egg, and after an Exorcist-style spectacular, no one in the family ever made me eat eggs again.
Anyway, the mother offered me an egg. I politely declined. The mother begged me, telling me these eggs were different. The daughter told me I had an irrational phobia and it wasn’t like I was allergic, or anything. Damn long-standing friendship where people know stuff about you! The mother begged and begged, and now there were people watching. I couldn’t think quickly enough, so I took an egg, popped it in my mouth, turned towards the wall to hide the expression on my face, and promptly barfed all down the once pristine white wall. Fuck! The rest was a bit of a blur. I remember, through the heavy gauze of humilation, sourcing a plastic bag, some paper towels and a damp rag, and then running out of the party.
So to the question: I already rang my friend to apologise to her. She thought it was pretty funny, and didn’t mind that much because I’d done a pretty good cleaning job. But what about the mother? She is such a gentle, sweet person and she really judges her own worth by her food. What can I do to make this up to her, becaue as humiliating as it was for me, I reckon it must have been much worse for her.
Did you know there is an Indian sweet called “barfi”?
Dear Barf,
Not that the mother didn’t mean well, but in my opinion she got what she deserved. She pushed a food on you that you hate; when you nicely said no, she insisted, to the point of embarrassing you in front of the other guests; the idea that she might somehow triumph by getting you to like her eggs, even though you loathe all other eggs, was more important to her than your physical and mental comfort as her guest. Not to mention that a deviled egg is not what I would call splitting the atom in the appetizer department.
Call her up or write her a note saying you’re sorry you made a mess and caused a commotion. Not that you apologize, because if anyone should get an apology here, in my view, it’s you, and it should come from the daughter for shaming you into eating a food she knows you find revolting — just that you’re sorry. Because you are sorry, sorry that Mrs. Bossy Boots made you eat a food you didn’t want.
And the next time, don’t get cowed into eating it, for God’s sake. Make up some allergy story, whatever, but if people can’t hear “no thank you,” that isn’t your problem.
[7/12/06]
Tags: Ask The Readers etiquette popcult
