The Vine: July 25, 2003
Sars,
I can’t turn down a dare, especially when it’s a grammar dare.
I had a feeling the difference between “pleonasm” and “tautology” had to do with pleonasms being phrases, while tautologies appear to be clauses. I had no proof, since my American Heritage gave nearly identical definitions (basically, “redundancy”). I found my evidence at this very cool site.
Anyhow, it does seem to do with syntax. “Enough is enough” is a tautology; it restates itself in the predicate. “HIV virus” is a pleonasm; it restates itself within the phrase, but there’s no verb.
So is a pleonasm a type of tautology, or vice versa, or are they separate animals?
A big nerd
Dear Nerd,
I wouldn’t assume that it has to do with the phrasing; further down the page on that site, you’ll find illustrations of both tautology and pleonasm in both phrasal and predicate forms.
I believe the distinction is more one of rhetorical use than structural use. A tautology employs repetition for emphasis — or, to put it another way, eliminating the repetition changes the meaning of the sentence or phrase. Take “it is what it is” as an example. Well, of course it is; it is, after all. But why do we actually say, “It is what it is”? Because merely saying “it is” doesn’t imply that it’s probably a bad situation, but that there’s nothing for it, the way “it is what it is” does.
I overexplained that, I suspect. Anyway. A pleonasm, on the other hand, is a repetition that only serves as a repetition, i.e. “ATM machine” or “absolutely free.”
So, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” is more properly a pleonasm, I guess — or we can say that the two terms overlap a bit if the tautology is the result of an error. But the bottom line, I think, is that a tautology is intentional repetition for rhetorical effect, and a pleonasm is closer to a malapropism.
If I have to type the word “pleonasm” once more, I’ll stick a spoon in my eye.
Dear Sars,
Here’s a totally innocent question from someone who’s never owned a pet or known many people who have done so (I did feed my friend’s cat one day…but she was getting home late. Nothing like a trip).
Would the answer [to Koi-pable] be different if it were the dog who was sick/passed away? Should you reserve bad news, regardless of its scope, until someone returns from their beachfront hideaway?
DT
Dear D,
It depends on the bad news — specifically on whether the vacationer can actually do anything about said bad news — and now that I’ve said that, maybe I should change my answer and tell Koi-pable to call Finn, because here’s the thing. For instance, if Hobey is sitting on the window sill, watching pigeons and minding his own business, and he gets hit by lightning and killed, well, he’s dead, I couldn’t have done anything about it, and it’s just as well I don’t know about it for a couple more days. Not that I wouldn’t care, obviously, but two days of my not knowing isn’t going to affect the situation either way.
But if Hobey gets pushed out the window during a break-in, or he’s hurling a lot and he’s listless and the sitter doesn’t know exactly what to do…yeah, call me. In Hobey’s case, well, he hurls a lot, and he thinks he’s Camus; it’s probably nothing, but it’s worth calling to see what I think, because I can in fact affect the situation.
It’s not the species of pet; it’s whether you can affect the circumstances from afar. So maybe Finn should get a call. Maybe the fish expert is like, “Look, trust me, we can’t do anything for them,” or maybe this has happened to Finn’s koi before and he can say, “Shit, not again. Okay, there’s a tin of Fix-A-Koi in the garage, throw a teaspoon into the pond and that should do it.” It’s a judgment call. If you think it would cause more aggro than it would do to fix or help whatever’s going on, though, better to wait until the vacationer gets home.
Dear Sars,
I’m facing a bit of a dilemma. I’m beginning university this year. I live in Australia, and university education is paid for through the Higher Education Contribution Scheme (HECS). Most people defer their HECS payments; the government loans them the money and they begin paying it back through taxes when their incomes reaches a certain threshold.
There’s also the option of paying your HECS up front and receiving a 25 percent discount. My mother has offered to do this for me, and have me pay her back when I can afford to, whenever that may be.
There are a couple of problems with this. Firstly, my relationship with my mother is somewhat… difficult. She’s a complete control freak. During my final year of high school last year, she nearly drove me nuts with the pressure. She constantly nagged me to study harder, she hovered over me while I was doing assignments telling me what I was doing wrong, and went so far as to make changes to some of my work, without my permission. Her stance was that since I was living under her roof, she had a right to demand that I work to her standards. It was not a pleasant year for either of us — lots of screaming matches over what I felt was unfair pressure and what she felt was me being lazy. She’s not a complete dragon lady — I know she acted out of love and a desire for me to succeed. The fact that my education (and my life in general) has been severely messed with due to my bouts of depression and a severe anxiety disorder made her determined to get me through high school.
Anyway, I finished high school, did well, and the insane nagging stopped. My concern with accepting my mother’s help with paying for university is that it will give her a reason to start again with all the pressure. If that happens, I think I’ll end up either killing her or killing myself. I’ve voiced my concerns about this to her, and she got quite offended and said that this was different from high school, and I’ll be completely responsible for my own studies. She only wants to help me out so that I can knock 25 percent off the debt. She says she can easily afford it (which is true), and that she didn’t have to pay for her university education (it was free back then), and wants me to have that advantage too. Problem is, I’m having trouble believing her.
The second problem is that if I do this, I’ll feel like a spoiled rich kid. I don’t think many people get their parents’ help with this, and it might actually feel good to be responsible for paying for my own education.
The total cost for my degree will probably be about $12,000, or up to $25,000 if I switch to law, which is a possibility. Twenty-five percent off that would be very nice indeed. But despite her protestations, I have a strong feeling that my mother will not be able to help herself when it comes to interfering with my studies, and being financially involved would make her feel she had a right to nag and boss me about it.
So my question: Should I accept my mother’s offer and risk having her constantly interfering in my business for the sake of a 25 percent discount on the debt? Should I just leave her out of it altogether, defer the payment, and do this on my own, or would that just be stupid and ungrateful?
Mother’s Little Girl
Dear Girl,
I think, if it’s a loan which you intend to repay, that you have the right to examine the terms of that loan closely. Sit down with your mother and talk to her about the possible issues with the arrangement. Tell her you appreciate that her riding you so hard last year came from a place of love and concern, and you thank her, but you don’t want to go through that again — you want your independence, and if she can’t promise to stay off your back, you acknowledge the generous offer but you won’t accept it.
Of course, if she can’t take the money back from HECS after she’s paid it, you could just let her ride you and ignore it, but if you want an ironclad reason to tell her to get bent, maybe it’s better if you make your own way…I can’t really tell you what the best option is here. If it’s not ridiculously hard to make the payments later, perhaps doing it yourself makes the most sense long-term, just so you won’t have to revisit the problem later.
Hail Sars, O Great Bringer of Snark!
I currently live (and am bored with) Boston, and with both my job and lease coming to an end in May/June, was looking to move to Manhattan. (In fact, I am looking at either Alphabet City or Murray Hill.)
Can you offer any tips on finding a place, moving to NYC, et cetera?
Traitor to the Red Sox
Dear Sox,
Tip #1: Almost nobody calls it “Alphabet City” anymore, except parents. It’s the East Village. Which leads me to my first real tip — set up a weekend trip to New York and spend a few days getting to know the city and its neighborhoods. It makes it a lot easier to rule things out if you know that that gigantic one-bedroom in Sheepshead Bay is not the bargain it appears.
Tip #2: Go here to get a sense of what’s available (don’t bother with the sites that charge you to look at listings — they don’t give you an advantage). Grab the Sunday Times, too. Decide whether you want to use a broker. I mean, you don’t, but it’s not a perfect world we live in, and brokers often speed up the process. Expensive, but a lot of people just want to get it over with and will pay for that to happen.
Tip #3: Make a list of all the things you want in your ideal apartment. Then pick the most important three or four and gird your loins to compromise on the rest; the more money you have to spend on rent, the fewer things you’ll have to give up. Pets make it harder to find a place, particularly dogs. So, alas, do breasts; in certain neighborhoods, it’s not the greatest idea for a woman to live on her own.
Tip #4: Find a friend or acquaintance in New York that can give you the skinny on various neighborhoods, what a “jr 1BR” is really going to get you (the “BR” is a glorified closet), which trains actually run and where, that kind of thing.
Good luck. Rents are down; move fast before the economy makes a comeback.
Hi Sars,
Several years ago I became friends with “Julie.” We initially struck up a conversation on something frivolous and then things just went on from there; we got on like a house on fire. Tons to talk about, loads in common, plenty of laughter, just a general good feeling that led to us considering ourselves friends.
A few months later, Julie — who moved here from out of state — invited me to a yearly reunion she and her friends hold. It started as three or four of them, the next year each of them invited other friends, now friends invite friends, and so there are usually about 10-15 women showing up every year. It sounded great and I’m always up for a new experience, so I went with Julie.
I had the best week of my life, to put it mildly. I met an incredible group of women and immediately clicked with a few of them. Seriously, they should make a chick flick out of that group, that’s how much fun it was.
I became very close with several of the women I met there, and while Julie and I remained good friends in the months following the trip, shortly after that things began to go downhill. To make a long story short, I realized that the things that brought us together were superficial, and while a casual friendship can exist quite nicely on such things, a true, deep friendship cannot. Julie and I had several instances of miscommunication, and while we did work them out, it came to the point that I, and then she, finally realized it was a pattern that wasn’t serving either of us well. I was willing to accept at least half the blame, while Julie wasn’t. It was frustrating, to say the least, and yet we kept “working things out.” Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, right?
Now, however, I think Julie and I have finally reached a crossroads (we last spoke three months ago; it had been a three-month dry spell before then). To both our credits, we do genuinely care about each other, and as far as I’m concerned, there’s no ill will on either part. But the bottom line is that, sad as it makes me, we don’t have what it takes to maintain an actual friendship. I can’t handle someone who needs me only when they’ve got a problem, and whatever it is that she needs from me, I’m not able to give it to her.
Here’s the problem: the next reunion is nearing, and I fully intend to go. This isn’t an issue of “Well, they were her friends first,” because it’s not necessarily the case. Some of them were, others weren’t. Some of them are closer to me than to her, et cetera. This is a big, communal affair; everyone looks forward to it, including me. This trip — and these people — have become an integral part of my life. People want us both there.
Sars, how should I handle it when I see her again? The past few times, Julie and I have been in a good place with each other, so it hasn’t been a problem, but this year I’m worried. I don’t think it will turn into a junior high slumber party, with people squaring off; most of our friends aren’t even aware of the issue, especially since Julie moved out of state again, and has distanced herself from some of them in the past year or so. But I am concerned that there will be awkwardness, and apart from not wanting either of us to deal with that, I really don’t want our friends put in that position.
Our friendship used to be good and close (if misguided, in hindsight), and there doesn’t appear to be any animosity now, just discomfort and yes, maybe some resentment. In short, I think we’re both mature enough to be polite and maintain a wide berth, but I’m at a loss. What do you think is a good way to handle this situation? It’s only for a week, after all.
Thanks,
Keeping the Peace
Dear Peace,
Be polite and reserved. Don’t emphasize doing it; don’t make a point of avoiding her, because she’s going to notice “a wide berth,” and not in a positive way. Just interact with her like a person and try to put any resentments aside to deal with later, if at all. If the two of you have gotten along recently, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
You can probably expect some awkwardness at first, because you haven’t seen her in a while. But just chalk it up to that; don’t brace yourself for a big blow-out that probably isn’t coming — and if it does come, handle it in private and keep it between the two of you, or tell her it’s not an appropriate time.
You haven’t mentioned any tendency on Julie’s part to pitch public hissies, so I have to assume that she doesn’t usually do that, in which case…just go and have a good time and don’t overthink it.
[7/25/03]
Tags: Ask The Readers cats friendships grammar NYC the fam
