Okay, so here’s my current problem.

My two-year-old son “caught” me and my boyfriend having sex in the living room the other day. He came down the stairs and I don’t even know how long he was standing there. I didn’t hear him until he started to cry! I feel SO terrible.

He clung to me the entire night, and then when my boy tried to kiss me, [my son] held up his little finger and said, “Don’t you kiss my mommy!” I wonder if he thinks that my boyfriend was hurting me?

Have I scarred my kid for life?

S

I have no idea. Given the, uh, logistics of sexual intercourse, your son probably thought your boyfriend had sinister intentions, so I imagine reassuring your son that your boyfriend would never hurt you will set his mind – and yours – at ease.

Still, I really don’t know anything about children, so you might want to talk to your pediatrician about it, or see if your friends with kids have any insights into how to handle this kind of thing. But I doubt you’ve damaged him in any way, and making a big deal about it might solidify the experience in his mind as a bad one, so try not to worry about it overly.

[7/26/00]

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