The Vine: July 30, 2010
Sars,
I just had a seriously depressing epiphany about myself, and, as a result, went spelunking in your archives, unsuccessfully. I seem to recall a Vine within the last couple of years where folks went off in the comments with suggestions for psychologists/counselors in the DC area. I don’t know if the old comments came over with the site switch or not, and that’s what I was hoping you could tell me.
I am pretty sure the answer is no, checking through the Vine history. Because of Donors Choose, and the ensuing trip to DC, I’m having a hard time narrowing the field.
If the comments are gone, here’s the central issue I’m needing help with.
I am in my mid-thirties and have never been in a romantic relationship. I have friends and a life and lots of interests and a job I’m good at and keep pretty busy. But I’m also lonely and want a relationship and am terribly insecure about my lack of any. Never mind that I would like to eventually get married and have kids.
There have been multiple guys I’ve been interested in over the years, but oh, the ones I fall for: the unavailable, the non-communicative, the alcoholic who hasn’t managed to stay sober a year yet, the probably-severely-closeted (the latter twice, per friends with better gaydar).
The latest one is not only unavailable, but has gotten himself better entrenched than I into the network I introduced him to, and in a very visible way. This is not the sort of high school drama I particularly wanted to revisit. I am tired and discouraged and I think I’m finally in a (although very depressing) place where I know I need help, or at the very least, an impartial perspective.
But who? I’ve done some poking around before about different types of therapy, and think behavioral cognitive looks like a structure that would work for me. I have some family craziness, but I don’t think anything extreme, and I’ve never been sexually abused, thank heavens, nor suffered any sort of severe trauma. I also am in pretty good health otherwise, other than the standard “I should floss more and bake less.”
This is where I was hoping the Vine readership could chime in. I live in the DC area — the closer in, the easier for me. Any suggestions would be most welcome.
Not the sort of referral I want to ask of my coworkers
Dear Ref,
I hunted through the archives too, and while I’m positive I remember the letter you mean — I think the author lived in Maryland? — I can’t find it either. Perhaps the readers will turn it up, or suggest a good counselor for you locally.
If that doesn’t work out, reread the Vines addressing good and bad therapist “fits,” and start calling around. It sounds to me like you need some short- to medium-term help getting out of an identified pattern; it shouldn’t be too terribly hard to find a therapist to address that, if you do a little thinking beforehand about what kind of relationship you want to have with him/her.
Dear Sars and Tomato Nationeers:
I am an inner-city English teacher who is looking for a school-appropriate synonym for “sucks.”
One of my standard pep talks consists of explaining the connection between ability and attitude towards reading or writing, i.e. “I swear to you that if you practice, you will get better, and then it won’t suck anymore.” For the past couple of years, I’ve been at a campus where the students (and parents) were sufficiently foul-mouthed that I could just say it that way and not have a problem.
Now, however, I’m looking to move elsewhere — anywhere else. I could end up at a campus where minor swear words are again a big deal. Wherever I go, I’ll still have kids who need to hear that message.
Any ideas?
Love My Ghetto Babies
Dear Baby,
“Bites”? Some people consider that nearly as bad. “Blows” is definitely out, and “stinks” is a little Gallant of Highlights for my taste.
…”Eats a bowl of bees”? I’m sorry I’m so unhelpful, but I’m so foul-mouthed myself that “sucks” is practically church lingo for me.
“Sucks” has gotten a lot less shocking since I was that age, though, as far as its presence in the wider culture. Of course, when I was that age, nobody had said the word “bitch” on TV yet either, and dinosaurs grazed in my family’s back yard, so what do I know — but if you can’t find an ideal synonym and/or you let an S-bomb slip now and again, I don’t think most parents would even notice.
Tags: Ask The Readers grammar health and beauty
My mom also thinks “sucks” is an extremely dirty word. Same for “butt.” She was never thrilled about “crap,” but she lost that battle. I usually substituted “stinks” or “is stupid” if I was too far into a sentence to change course.
I also want an “Eat a Bee” shirt.
Dear Ref,
I found this article via ask.metafilter.com and have recommended it to other people. It’s a consumer guide that covers a lot of ground, including but not limited to: types of therapy, credentials, first session, competence, and red flags. As someone who’s been in therapy — with some of the same issues you’re dealing with now, FWIW — I think it demystifies the process a lot.
Therapy is not an easy undertaking but, at its best, can be a productive one. Good for you for being willing to reach out, and best of luck.
I have an uncle whose nickname is Dick (derivative of Richard). We were in a restaurant recently, and he was talking to some folks to pass the time. Our table was called, so I said loudly “hey, Dick!” to get his attention. You should have seen the expressions around us, especially one that was “wait, what did she call me?…oh, she was talking to him…wait, what did she call him?”. He, of course, didn’t notice (or care).
Whose ass was it that the Nation was going to beat with a flaming beehive? Whoever abandoned Nicolai, I think? That was sort of the epitome of bee-themed obscene wrath, for me.
My contributions: a friend’s son attended a preschool where, tired of the kids calling each other “poopy head” and such, the parents and teachers came up with an approved list of toddler curses, among them “diaper.” We went around saying “That is TOTALLY DIAPER!” for months.
And…another friend uses “Shatner” as a handy “shit” replacement, well before he was cast in that terrible-looking new show.
I love “that rots”. I don’t like the homophobic and misogynistic associations of “it sucks”, but that aside, “it rots” sounds cooler, classier, and funnier. Thanks, Noelie! For some variety, I might use “stinks” or “slurps” (thanks to you too, April!).
I’m a fan of “that really grinds my gears.”
I had a history teacher in high school who hated swear words and told us we should take the opportunity to come up with more original, creative things to say. Instead of s#!%, she suggested something along the lines of “a pusillanimous pile of putrescence.” This was the same teacher who told us that some group or another wasn’t having sex, they were Fornicating Under Consent of the King.
@colleen little apples is awesome! I heard “oh for the love of Pete” on a commercial for I think Labatt’s, so I break that out every now and again complete with hilariously bad Canadian accent. Also “for the love of pizza” works for me as well.
I’m loving the non-swearing swear word discussion. With two toddler-sized language sponges in the house, my husband and I are really having to G-rate everything now. While it would be pretty hilarious to hear the three-year-old call her one-and-and-a-half-year-old sister a dumbass, it probably wouldn’t earn us a return invite with the local moms’ group.
I may have to add bee-related variations to our vocab. The kids would get a kick out of it, and it wouldn’t make my mother faint.
While it probably doesn’t help, because the inferred meaning is so predominant now, but it’s actually pretty unlikely “sucks” as a denigration was originally a reference to the sexual act; it seems t be derived instead from “sucks the hind tit” (yeah, doesn’t really get it all that much closer to the parlor for modern America), as in “is the pathetic loser runt.”
So while saying “sucks dicks” as an insult does indeed come with all the exciting homophobic/dominance/gross stuff as discussed, good old-fashioned “sucks” didn’t bring any of that with it–it acquired it later. Probably just, you know, sucked it up.
Apropos the first use of bitch on network prime time, I believe that honor goes to MASH in 1979. (It had been used a lot on SNL by then, but that was late night, and the rules were different.) I was 11 – and watching – when that MASH aired, and I do remember it being a shock. If I had seen South Park when I was 11 I think I would have had a seizure. :-)
When I was little, my Pawpaw thought it was HYSTERICAL to teach me bad things. Hee! So, he taught me how to flip people off. And when I learned to do that with both hands at the same time, I was SO proud. My Grandma, however, was not proud. We were in the middle of Target, and I kept trying to get her attention, and I was flipping off some little boy with both hands! lol Yay me! He’s probably been scared for life or something though. lol
Pawpaw also taught me “damnit” and I used to appropriately, even with a foot stomp most of the time.
As I grew up (re: entered kindergarten) and realized “bad words are bad” I stopped using them. I wouldn’t even say, “Shut up” or anything.
So, I actually remember the first time I heard my older cousin say, “Bull…” in front of her parents. She didn’t even say, “Bull Shit!” she just said, “Bull” and I was like all offended and stuff (I was like, 7 or something).
But now I cuss like sailor. Our best friends are about to have a baby and it’s going to be very hard to stop. I think we’ll just have to go with “earmuffs” or something. But I’m sure there will be alot of, “Grab dangle! This bull shatner shucks a monkey fighting applecake!” and stuff. I’m sure it will be quite entertaining.
When Son of Isis was in, I think, second grade, he had a teacher he didn’t like. He said “Ms. ___ is not mean, exactly, she’s just inconsiderate.” He and I then started to say, “___ is quite inconsiderate” rather than saying a person was a “bitch” or other insult.
I noticed, as he was growing up, that he values consideration, and an inconsiderate girl, no matter how “hot” never stood a chance with him. Today is his 26th birthday; he’s a considerate fellow, and it seems to me that his fast-talking, snarky Russian girlfriend is, despite the snark, a considerate woman.
@tuliptoe… I don’t know about “bitch” as a standalone, but in 1972, Bea Arthur on Maude made me gasp when she said, “Walter, you son of a bitch”. I’d been pretty protected up until that time. I had also never heard the word “whore” said aloud, and pronounced it as “war” when I was reading Shakespeare in my English class!
A million and a half years ago, on this very blog, Sars used the phrase “oh for the love of beer and skittles!” I unashamedly stole it and to this day, my friends break it out all the time. Sars, I think I owe you royalties.
@JenK: I had to have a discussion with my husband about his language around the kids. He had been caring for them while their nanny was ill, and I was in the room when the three-year-old was playing by herself, talking to her toys as little kids are wont to do. She’s playing with her blocks or Barbies or whatever, and amid her other patter I hear very clearly, “Goddammit… mumble mumble mumble…goddammit,” in her little kid voice. I confronted my husband and he was all, “It wasn’t me! I’ve totally not been swearing around them!” until I told him what she said, and then he’s all, “…er, yeah, that would be me, then.”
He’s an incorrigible foul mouth, so I’m more focusing on teaching the kid that some words just aren’t appropriate. It’s going about as well as you might expect, so I kind of think we’re Those Parents at her preschool.
Ref —
It looks like my link didn’t work. Cut ‘n’ paste this into your browser window and see if the right site comes up:
http://www.metanoia.org/choose/index.html
I’m not sure about the etymology of sucks as outlined above. I’m pretty sure it comes from ‘sucks eggs’ which I distinctly remember reading in some Anne of Green Gables book or something similar. It shocked me to see it in such an old book, but there you go.
@Still: My P.O. box is in the FAQ. Hee.
On the term, “Ghetto Babies”, I have to agree with C.A.B. and MizShrew here – although I speak as a former student in an inner-city school and former resident of a “ghetto” (we called it “the projects”) – I really hate it. Do your students know you refer to them this way? Maybe kids feel differently now, but you had been my teacher, THAT would’ve been far more offensive than the use of the word “sucks”.
I’m a librarian at a religious school so I definitely have to be creative with my language. I swear I’m channeling my mother when I say “jeezy croats” or “for Pete’s sake.” I’m now going to have to incorporate “eat a bee” and “for the love of skittles” (I’ll save the “beer” for not-at-school-time).
For the longest time the only little kid I had regular interaction with was my nephew who happens to be deaf. It got very difficult when he started playing with hearing kids because my brothers and I would sometimes forget that other kids can hear. Oops.
(Geezy croats? Jeesy kroats? I have never, ever spelled that out before… It looks so weird).
When I was about 7, I overheard someone (an uncle?) refer to an absent third party as a fudgepacker. I just assumed it was a fakey insult/swear word like all the others I heard on a regular basis (grew up in Utah…the rest of y’all have nothing on Utahns for their ability to manufacture sanitized expletives). It also seemed to be hands down the best insult name I had ever heard. Fast forward a week to my dad walking into the living room to find me playing Nintendo, furiously calling Mario a FUUUUUUUUUDGEPAAAAAAACKER! at the top of my lungs for his inability to go successfully land on some moving target of some kind. Heh. Dad made me pause the game and we had a talk about the fact that fudgepacker was a rather derogatory term and, despite it being terrifically fun to shout, was not something I should continue using.
Many of our appliance service customers are eldery and easily offended by language, so my husband calls uncooperative appliances “gravy sucking pigs” which generally amuses.
@patricia years ago, my late sister in law was complaining that her kindergartener had cussed out his teacher. “I don’t know where he gets that g-damn m-fing language!” she exclaimed. Self-awareness was not one of her strong points.
Re: Potty mouth:
The summer that I was 14 and my sister was 12, our standard poodle had puppies. We took great delight in referring to the female puppies as “bitches” — the proper terminology in dog-breeding circles — when people asked us, “How many are boys, and how many are girls?”
(Male dogs, on the other hand, are just “dogs.” Huh. Sexist much?)
My 8th-grade Lit teacher would not allow anyone to say “Shut Up” in class, on pain of having to stand before the class and say it five more times (which is surprisingly embarrassing when you’re 13). Come to think of it that’s the same lady who gave me a stern talking-to for saying “pain in the butt” outside her class, but close enough for her to hear. “That’s ‘pain in the neck‘ to YOU, young lady!”
“Stinks” is my at-work replacement for sucks, since most of my assignments are in curse-free zones anyway. There’s entertainment value in finding the goofiest possible terminology in those environments, because things still happen, but no one will ever report me to HR for saying, “Gosh-darn stupid computer can just GO RIGHT AHEAD and freeze, because it’s not like we’re on a frigging DEADLINE or anything here… dag nabbert!” (I actually learned dag-nabbert recently from likeminded coworkers.)
Watching a cussy movie on broadcast TV can turn up some real gems… my partner and I noted that a certain line had somehow become “They’ll have to shake me and bake me for that!” We still use it, because it’s just funny when you know the original was “suck me and fuck me.”
Jane’s comment just reminded me of the mildest-mannered lady I’ve ever met, who regularly used terms like “ding-dang” or “for the love of Pete” because she just didn’t need the foul stuff to express what she met.
She surprised the heck out of me in a card game by noting that she was “sucking the hind tit” that round. I couldn’t believe I was hearing such language from her, until she explained that the phrase recalls the runty puppy who gets stuck with the tiny faucets on the far end of the mother dog. (Calling the nipples “faucets” was just her sense of humor in action.)
That phrase still makes me smile to this day.
This is v. funny discussion.
I would like to offer ‘balderdash’ (for when you’ve hit your thumb with a hammer etc) from my dad, and my mum’s surprisingly satisfying ‘hell’s bells and buckets of blood’. Here in the UK shouts of ‘pants’ and ‘knickers’ are sometimes also heard when we don’t want to swear (don’t think those would work over the pond though).
My dad, who never swears, uses the phrase “fecal roster,” which I now apply every chance I get–and given that I teach college freshmen, my fecal roster is pretty long.
Heading off a swear at the last minute is also a key skill: my now-ex, while trying to give up swearing, once noticed his untied shoe and came out with “God…BLESS my shoes, because I just LOVE to tie ’em!”
Man. I always feel like I’m doing well when I use the mild “sucks” instead of the full “sucks donkey cock”.
I’m glad to read about the likely origin of “sucks the hind tit”, because I don’t especially love the potential for misogyny. Which is why I never call people I want to cuss out cocksuckers, despite all those lovely k’s, which make it so much fun to say. I’m a cocksucker, and in favor of cocksucking by anyone who wants to, and it shouldn’t be an epithet even though it rolls right off the tongue.
For a while, before I moved fully into my obnoxious teenage years, my dad and I had a whole list of pseudo-swear words – “turgid bolshevik” was one of our favorites. And while Dad (himself a potty-mouth of the highest order) would never, ever, EVER have tolerated his daughter calling someone a shit-eating caveman, “coprophilic troglodyte” was completely acceptable.
I have to say that the homophobic/misogynistic aspect of “sucks” never really registered with me … probably because I usually heard it as “sucks big green donkey dicks” or “sucks the wind out of a monkey’s ass”. I think the bestiality aspect trumped the h/m aspect in my eyes.
My ex is from Wisconsin, and his family uses “sucks hind tit” (no “the”) all the time. Most etymologies I’ve looked into agree that “sucks” comes from “sucks eggs” – not that I particularly understand THAT – and not from a reference to oral sex.
I personally don’t understand why, for instance, “frigging” is acceptable and “fucking” is not. It reminds me of the comedian who says that using the phrase “the N-word” is socially unacceptable because “you’re making ME say it, in my head, FOR you!”
Still, it’s funny how acceptability changes – I’ve read novels from way back in the day where a male character says “Blast!” or “Confound it!” and all the female characters scurry out of the room, scandalized and blushing, while an elderly (usually female) character takes the “curser” to task for using such vile language. One book I remember in particular, the husband had a toothache and told his wife, “It feels like there’s a demon in my mouth!” She refused to speak to him for nearly a week, only forgiving him after the tooth was pulled and she realized that the pain had made him “speak so wildly.”
I can remember the day I first learned that “sucks” was sometimes considered offensive. I was 12 and sitting at the dinner table, and said that I had too much homework and “it really sucks.” BOOM! Mayhem. I was baffled – I had utterly no idea that there could be anything wrong with “sucks.” My mother was nearly in tears and my father’s face was almost purple as he sent me to my room to await the belt, over my protests that I hadn’t known it was a “bad word.” My brother was watching this all unfold with mouth agape, and as I left the table, he murmured, “Well, THAT sucks,” followed instantly by “oshit!” as he realized that he’d been heard. I don’t remember if his double-slip got me off the hook – probably not – but it still cracks me up.
I’ve heard good things about the Vienna Women’s Center.
If you have a good GP, ask for a referral to someone that might be good for you.
Good Luck!
For reference, here’s part of what I located at http://www.etymonline.com regarding the history of “suck” (Can’t say how authoritative or accurate this site is, but the listing makes sense to me):
“Meaning “do fellatio” is first recorded 1928. Slang sense of “be contemptible” first attested 1971 (the underlying notion is of fellatio). Suck eggs is from 1906. Suck hind tit “be inferior” is Amer.Eng. slang first recorded 1940.”
So yes, if this site is accurate, both “suck eggs” and “suck hind tit” appear to have been part of the lexicon before it became associated with dicks and the sucking of same. But the 1970’s connotation that many of us are familiar with does appear to carry the “sucks dick” baggage.
What’s interesting to me is that it seems like now the association has almost reverted to it’s earlier connotations, in that people don’t automatically think of the sexual when they hear the term anymore. I really really don’t think that my best friend’s 12-year-old daughter is thinking “sucks dick” when she says something like “cleaning the bathroom really sucks.” It’s clear that she just means that it’s boring/annoying, and nothing more. She just doesn’t have that history or understanding of the background of the term. Then again, she’d have no clue what “sucks hind tit” meant, either.
@Caitilin and others,
Last night I watched the movie “Shadrach” on TV, with Harvey Keitel starring as a much-put-upon moonshiner during the Depression. His go-to swear, evidently cleaned up for TV, was “(that so-and so) can KISS MY HANDS!” And this while dealing with worn-out land, a nosy sheriff, 6 or 7 hungry kids needing everything, and a very elderly visitor who would soon need a burial that Keitel’s character couldn’t pay for. No wonder he was angry.
This discussion on the origin of the use of ‘sucks’ has been incredibly illuminating for me. I’ve never realised it could be seen as a ‘dirty’ word (due to it’s associations with fellatio) as I grew up understanding it came from the expression to ‘suck eggs’. I therefore concluded ‘sucks’ was a shortened form of that. I swear like a sailor but now it seems even when I think I’ve been keeping it clean, others have been thinking I still have been a potty mouth!!
I found out about this term after reading “Tom Sawyer” as a kid. I remember looking it up in our Oxford Dictionary. After a quick hunt around on the net, I found this which summarises my understanding much better than I ever could:
“The Oxford English Dictionary 2 does record an obsolete term “to suck the eggs of” meaning “to extract the goodness of, cause to be unproductive” (relating to the association of sucking eggs with stealing them, sucking being a quick way to eat an egg without preparation or mess–surreptitiously). This is supported with the following quotes:
1576 GASCOIGNE Philomene Wks. 1910 II. 179 Such unkinde, as let the cukowe flye, To sucke mine eggs.
1599 SHAKES. Hen. V, I. ii. 171 The Weazell (Scot) Comes sneaking, and so sucks her Princely Egges.
1602 2nd Pt. Return fr. Parnass. IV. ii, This sucks the eggs of my inuention.
1750 GRAY Long Story 48 A wicked Imp..Who prowl’d the country far and near,..And suck’d the eggs, and kill’d the pheasants.
In addition, we have the noun “suck-egg”, with the following senses:
“a. An animal that is reputed to suck eggs, e.g. a weasel, cuckoo; fig. an avaricious person.
“b. A young fellow; slang. a silly person (Barr re & Leland).
“c. attrib. That sucks eggs. Also U.S. dial. (chiefly South and Midland), used to designate a dog regarded as the type of viciousness or worthlessness.”
re: Sucks
I watched a kid’s cartoon a few years ago (I’m pretty sure it was called Recess?) It was cute, anyway, and the main character went around saying “This WHOMPS”.
I’ve used that in my classroom ever since.
Re church lingo: One of the ministers at our church recently yelled (from the pulpit, no less) “If your marriage SUCKS, maybe it’s not your partner’s fault–maybe it’s YOUR fault. Maybe YOU suck! Check into it!”
This, in a VERY straight-laced southern denomination. Heard a couple of snickers, a gasp or two. He kept plowin’. I was so, so happy.
My four-year-old has somehow (ahem) picked up the terms “jackwagon” and “morwon” (moron?), which he hollers from his booster seat in traffic. “MOVE it, MORWON!” “It’s not gonna get GREENER, you JACKWAGON!”
Morwon, coupled with his corruption of “gloat” into “gloot”, keeps me in hysterics on family game night. “Don’t GLOOT! Only morwons gloot!”
I figure it could be much, much worse, given my own weakness for bad words. And “fecal roster” above? Genius.
I was in Latin class once when I bombed a vocab quiz. I yelled out “I suck!” and the Professor responded “that would be vellare, and it was not on the quiz.”
That word may be the only Latin I remember…
I have always been partial to Scrubs’s “Frick on a Stick” when swearing. “Swizzlesticks” is also enjoyable.
Swear alternatives — Bring back gnarly! ;D (or is Frak safe in school?)
Ref — good luck to you!
I’m going to hijack this vine thread. I apologize for that, because there is some awesome discussion going on; I hope it continues. But with Sars’s approval, I am starting a Tomato Nation bone marrow registration and blood donation drive.
The last vine’s first letter really struck a chord with me, as I recently lost a beloved aunt to cancer. Reading Foot’s letter, I felt again the same helplessness I felt while watching my aunt die – a bad thing is happening, and there is nothing I can do. I donated blood, I joined the bone marrow registry, I gave to the Komen Foundation and the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, and I hoped that these little things might help someone.
I wish there were something I could do for Foot, something we could do for Foot. Of course, there isn’t. But the Tomato Nation could have a registration drive for the bone marrow registries (this page has a list of registries in many different countries: http://www.matchdevan.com/where-to-donate). Who knows; maybe we could find a match for Krissy: http://www.teamkrissy.com/.
So I wish the best of luck to Foot, and I promise to spread the word to at least five about the unofficial (but Sars-sanctioned, via email) Tomato Nation bone marrow registration and blood donation drive. If you are in, please pledge to join a registry in your country (if you can), or to donate blood (if you can), and to spread the word. Let’s get the power of the mighty Tomato Nation behind this, and hopefully we can make a difference!
Go ‘maters!
Baby,
rots?
when i was younger, “twitter” was used among my pals as a verb form of being a twit.
or from college, something that sucks is a “whole bucket of uglies”
I think I might have to start using “slurps” myself!
@Ref:
Thanks for this letter, it’s nice to know that there are other 30 somethings who haven’t been in a romantic relationship for awhile. And ones who have the same issues as I had. My last date was probably 10 years ago. I’m slowly working my way to getting on board with match.com or something like that but I’m taking it slow and not rushing myself. I hope you find what you’re looking for.
There should totally be a support group or website for people like us!
I once had my mouth washed out with soap for using the term “fart-face”, so I had to be pretty careful my word choice around the house. Oddly enough, “sucks” was not verboten largely because it was assumed to be short for “sucks eggs” (an old turn of phrase, as in “egg-sucking dog” or “teaching one’s grandmother to suck eggs”, which turned up in Tolkein of all places). Since there was nothing that terribly offensive about a quaint old countryish phrase, things could “suck” all they wanted to.
But woe betide the kid who said something “hurts like hell”, even if I did read it in Mom’s copy of “Reader’s Digest”…
“Grab dangle! This bull shatner shucks a monkey fighting applecake!”
Will I be going to the same well once too often if I say we need to add this brilliant slogan to the TN t-shirt list? Please?
As the pregnant lady who swears like a sailor, I just want to thank everyone here for both the high comedy and the ideas on how to clean up my language in the next four months so my child (when he can talk) does not out my saltiness to everyone within hearing distance!
@Margaret: I’m sure it was our pleasure, you big jackwagon, you. Heh.
@Trish: I laughed at your comment because I was going to reply that as a newspaper copy editor, I say as many curse words per day as grandma-friendly words.
I’m not sure if it’s the parents or coworkers who will be upset if you say “suck,” but can you turn it into a lesson about improving vocabulary and using descriptive language by playing with the thesaurus and looking for new synonyms or phrases every time you might want to say “suck”?
For Ref, we’ve had a great experience for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Alvord, Baker and Associates. They have offices in Silver Spring and Rockville. We have been seeing one of the associates with our kindergartner who has OCD. I’ve also talked to Dr. Alvord in the lobby and she seems to have her head on straight.
They don’t accept insurance so you’d have to use them as an “out of network provider” but I’m seeing a lot of practices doing this. AB& A has a great practice for children but they also work with adults and the questionnaire seems pretty comprehensive.
The administrative assistant accidentally gave us the adult questionnaire in addition to the one for kids. Since my son was five at the time, it was something of a hoot to read these questions with him in mind.
Our therapist deals mainly with children, but our son loves her and we have a good time with her, since, while OCD can be worrisome, it isn’t tragic.
Our therapist has even agreed to work with me (for a fee) on the psychological background of a fictional character in a novel I am writing. I will not be submitting those sessions to insurance.
“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – where they don’t treat you like you’re crazy, just how to deal.”
I often replace “That sucks” with “That’s a drag” or “That stinks” after a nun asked me consider how unpleasant “sucks” was in the general scheme of things. I still feel stupid every time I use one of the alternatives – if it sucks, it just sucks.
@Jaybird: “Jackwagon” is probably from the recent GEICO commercial featuring R Lee Ermey as, appropriately enough for this Vine, a drill-sergeant-turned-therapist.
@Ghetto: Of course, as Sars wrote, the problem is that eventually you just get too frustrated with euphemism and belt out “FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK-FUCK”, usually with your head stuck in a spin dryer or something so you get a lovely reverb.
…wow. That column is more than ten years old.