The Vine: July 7, 2004
Dear Sars,
Why are Jesus and Moses the only two exceptions to the apostrophe-S rule? Does God just love them more than everybody else?
Lauren
Dear Lauren,
Garner states that this exception is made for all Biblical and classical names — so “Xerxes” would not take an apostrophe-S either. He doesn’t say why, but I don’t think it’s because of any particular preference on Yahweh’s part.
Hi Sars,
There’s something that’s been bothering me for entirely too long, and I need some advice. This should be quick.
Three and a half years ago, I was a bridesmaid in my friend Annie’s wedding. Annie and I were pretty good friends in high school, but became really close after we graduated. I come from a small town and my group of friends is still pretty tight after all these (eight!) years. After Annie got married (way too young, if you ask me), she and her husband, Nick, who I’m also friends with, moved down south and I moved to New York. Ever since then, Annie and I have spoken less than five times.
It’s gotten to the point where I feel too guilty to get in touch with her. You know that feeling? I’m just scared that she’ll be mad at me, which I know is totally lame, but I can’t seem to bring myself to pick up the phone. Also, I emailed her over Christmas and she got back to me, telling me to call her, but I could tell just from the email that she’s changed a lot. She married a very religious guy and became a born-again to marry him, and she sounds like a 45-year-old minister’s wife rather than a 25-year-old who once broke her leg doing a keg stand.
I’ve grown up too, and it’s totally cool with me (I think) that she converted and got married and moved away, but we don’t have a lot in common anymore, and religious people make me nervous. But I feel like I should call her. I was in her wedding for Christ’s sake. And she has been a very good friend to me in the past.
And, to complicate matters, we have a very close mutual friend who talks to both of us a lot, so every time SHE (mutual friend) asks me if I’ve talked to Annie, I feel guilty AGAIN. And I bet Annie asks our mutual friend about me and talks about how sad she is that we don’t talk anymore.
Should I just suck it up and call her, or let it go, or what?
Thanks,
I Pretend I Don’t Like Drama
Dear Pretend,
If Annie were that sad that you don’t talk anymore, wouldn’t she call you more often? The fact that you’ve only spoken five times is not entirely your doing.
And it’s not necessarily a bad thing, either. People grow apart; the two of you don’t have much in common anymore. If you genuinely want to talk to her and see what she’s up to, call her, but enough with the guilt and the creating drama around it. She’s not a close friend anymore, and that’s okay, it happens, so — let it.
I have a gift-giving problem. My father’s birthday isn’t far away, and he’s normally very hard to shop for anyway, but now things are even more complicated. He’s in his early 60s, and he was recently laid off from his job. At his age, it’s unlikely he’ll ever get another job in his field.
What kind of gift am I supposed to get him now? Money is getting tight around my parents’ house right now (my mom is worried they may lose the house), and I’d like to be able to give him something he and my mom would actually find useful. What kind of gift do you give to someone who could really just use the cash, but would never take the cash?
Worried A DVD Box Set Would Just Look Wasteful
Dear Worried,
I have this problem with my dad, too — not the lost-his-job part, but his birthday is only a month after Father’s Day, and he’s impossible to shop for in the first place and will respond to requests for a Christmas list with “eh, I don’t need anything.”
So, my brother and I usually think of activities instead of items — we take him to dinner, or to a baseball game or a cheese-tasting — and you could go that route, or you could figure out something your parents need around the house but won’t buy for themselves. And of course you can always go the gift-certificate route — Amazon seriously sells everything but black-market babies now, so a fifty- or hundred-dollar Amazon gift certificate would let your dad buy anything he needs, from books to automotive supplies to shoes. Or you could get one from Home Depot, or a department store — wherever he might shop and would appreciate having “free money” to spend.
He’d appreciate a box set, too — it’s the thought that counts, after all — but if you want to give him something that’s closer to cash, I’d go with the gift certificate.
[7/7/04]
Tags: etiquette friendships grammar the fam
