Sars,

It’s a lot of good luck that kept your uncle alive.I don’t know the details surrounding the response to his heart attack, but I have a pretty good idea of how things panned out.I’ve been a volunteer EMT in a city in upstate NY for a while, and respond to two to four heart attacks a week.I’m about to rant.Here it comes.

Every minute a person’s heart stops beating, their chance of survival halves.It takes the average city ambulance six minutes to get to a call.Within four to six minutes of the heart stopping, the brain begins to die.Do the math.

The real world isn’t like Third Watch or ER or even Baywatch reruns.Twenty-three percent of heart attack victims die before getting in the ambulance, and most of them (70 percent) do so with one or more loved ones standing over them not knowing what to do.Do you know CPR?Does anybody in your family know CPR?You obviously love your family a lot.Wouldn’t you want to give them a fighting chance at survival?If all those terrified onlookers who “watched in horror as he/she died” instead dropped and started administering CPR, there would be a lot more grandmothers, fathers, mothers, strange uncles, and sons to harass us during the holidays.Early CPR doubles a heart attack victim’s survival odds.You may never give CPR to a person, but having that knowledge, even if just to use it on loved ones, is like having a working smoke detector in the hallway and a fire extinguisher in the kitchen.

Tell everyone in your family to take a CPR class.Especially make your mother and father learn CPR.I would also say that your uncle’s fiancée should learn it.Heart attacks are not one-shot ordeals.A heart that is damaged will continue to be damaged.CPR classes are taught all over the place (especially northern NJ and metro NY) and most of the time it’s free.If it’s not, it’s usually dirt cheap.There is no better gift to give the people you love than their lives back.

Lastly, treasure your family beyond everything else.In the end, they’re the only one you’ve got, even if they scare you sometimes.

This is Lecturing Brow Of Ominous Emergency Cardiac Care, signing off.

Dear LBOOECC,

Thanks for the reminder.I did learn CPR and basic first aid many moons ago, and should probably get recertified just in case.And it’s not a bad thing for anyone to know; watching people do it on TV might pull you through, but it’s better to take a class.God willing, you’ll never have to know how to tie a tourniquet or do the Heimlich maneuver, but in case you do, better to be prepared.

And now, another PSA.My uncle called my cousin first and then 911.Little J and EMS got to the house at roughly the same time, so it worked out okay, but if you’ve got an emergency on your hands, whether it involves you yourself or another person/people, call 911 first — buy yourself that time.Panicking and calling a loved one first is totally understandable, but…don’t.Call 911 right away.

Hey Sars,

I happen to work with a woman who wears the most ridiculously revealing clothing. We’ll call her “Britney” for fun. I mean, you can see through her shirt, her pants are super-tight, the whole shebang.I would never have a problem with this, except that we both work in an old-fashioned company. Her attire would be great, y’know, if we were at a bar or on a night out on the town.It’s run mostly by men, and I know that she’s just doing this for attention.

My beef? You can see through Britney’s shirt. She has a heavy set of boobs and her nipples poke out ALL THE TIME.Believe me, it’s not that cold in this office. It’s impossible to avoid and I personally think it’s gross. The rest of the women make so much fun of her, but for many other reasons. Britney stole the husband of a fellow co-worker.Whatever said victim does, Britney runs to her phone to call ex-hubby so that he can get mad at the other woman.Victim-woman is so miserable and depressed because this woman works in the same office.

That last has nothing to do with my problem; I just feel like ranting because Britney can really be a bitch sometimes.My question to you is, how do you mention to someone you don’t really like, but need to remain civil with, to wear a decent bra, for one, and to stop wearing such trampy clothes to the office.We have a dress code, and she doesn’t really follow it.Sure, you can wear the occasional tank top and skirt, but I’m not talking spaghetti straps and minis here.I just need some help with etiquette.I guess the main problem for me, and I don’t want you to think that I stare at this woman’s chest all the time, but she’s a foot taller than me, so I always come to that level. I try to avoid it but she’s everywhere in the office, wasting time. No one else will bother to tell her that her attire is inappropriate; instead they just make fun of her.Sure, maybe it’s none of my business, but I’m making it mine because I’m sick of her trying to run the office with such a bad display of public indecency.In the past I’ve always been the one to tell her how some things are done in the office. I’ve been here longer than her, and I think that she should keep the see-through clothing for other occasions.

All I’m looking for is how does one handle a situation like this? This is something that I would inform my friends, but she is not a friend, she is a co-worker, and I believe that she can dress better.

Thanks,
Sight For Eyes That Don’t Need To SEE THAT

Dear Sight,

You “handle” it by minding your own business, keeping your trap shut, and doing your work at work instead of passing judgment on others.

The way Britney dresses has nothing to do with you.The way Britney conducts her personal life has nothing to do with you.It’s how she dresses.It’s her personal life.If she’s in violation of the dress code, her boss will speak to her about it.If she’s giving “victim-woman” grief — and excuse me, but the responsibility to remain faithful lies with the person who’s married, as I’ve said about a thousand goddamn times — that’s their issue, not yours.Unless her dress or behavior affect your ability to work, which they wouldn’t if you’d keep your head down and stop worrying about other people, it’s none of your affair.

Apparently, it pisses you off that she’s “getting away with” something, or that she doesn’t respect the way you do things, or your seniority, or some other petty sense-of-entitlement thing that you think gives you the right to tell her how she should do.Well, it doesn’t, so get over it.She’s not hurting anyone except possibly herself.

If another woman’s nipples are your biggest problem, count your blessings and keep it to yourself.

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