Well-endowed readers wrote in by the dozen to suggest foundation-garment solutions for the big-breasted — and nearly half of them, independent of one another, voted for Bravissimo as a life-saving resource. It’s a UK-based company, but they ship overseas, and every single correspondent said it was worth it.

Other suggestions included…
Amazon.com’s clothing section
biggerbras.com
enell.com
title9sports.com
the Champion Women’s Intershape Underwire bra (available at footlocker.com)
plussizedbras.org
www.brashop.com
http://www.jeunique.com/EN/products/Body_Fashion/
Nordstrom’s
www.orchardcorset.com (more on this later)
www.orangeboots.net
Norm Thompson, for tanks with built-in bras
Cat’s Bra Research Page at http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~cat/bra.html
www.figleaves.com
Lane Bryant’s Cacique line
www.brasmyth.com
www.decentexposures.com
The Body by Victoria shaping full coverage bra at VS (hey, I don’t make the news, I just report it)
www.breakoutbras.com
the Wonderbra
Frederick’s of Hollywood
Maternity bras (try www.medela.com and www.bravado.com)
Shopping on eBay for BNWT (“brand-new with tags”) versions of styles you already own and trust, to save money
Olga bras
the issue of Good Housekeeping with Joan Lunden on the cover has a feature on larger-bust bras
Torrid
Target

I’ve had good luck with the Gap’s t-shirt bra (when I can find a 36D, which is rare), Olga, certain Maidenform styles, and sometimes a balconette actually gives me better support than a full-cup style — the problem is that everyone’s boobs are different, and a style one woman swears by is going to make another woman look like two hams are fighting in her shirt. Wacoal, I’m looking at you. HAM-PROVOKER!

So, a lot of times there’s nothing for it but to grab a trusted friend who will tell you the hard truths about cone-boob, set aside three hours, and just try on, try on, try on — and seriously, get measured. NOT at Victoria’s Secret, they don’t know what they’re doing. Go to an old-school lingerie store. The woman at Orchard Corset informed me that I was in denial, that I was too big AND too small for a 38C, MANHANDLED me into a 34DD, readjusted her wig, and said, “Now you look like movie star.” I wouldn’t call it a soothing experience, but I have a much better line under t-shirts now, for sure.

Hang in there. Like so many other things, mass-produced bras can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you if you can’t find one that works. Stick with it, get measured properly, and don’t wear the wrong bra size just because you think going up to a 38 band means you’re “fat.”

Hi Sars,

I saw the question about larger bra sizes yesterday and your essay this week about the retail industry, and thought maybe you could help with my problem (or ask readers to help). I’m a plus-size girl, but just 30 years old. I am also currently “between jobs” voluntarily. For that reason, I need to find some decent suits that are flattering.

I have tried Lane Bryant, whose designers have obviously had some kind of mental breakdown, because the only suits I could find were either horrible colors of tweed and huge flowers or lace details and bizarrely just 3/4 sleeves. What the hell is a blazer with 3/4 sleeves good for? It just makes me look like I put on a blazer that belongs to some midget. Anyway, I know Dress Barn and Old Navy have bigger sizes, but they only run to 24. With my chest, I need a 26 or a 28 for a flattering fit. I have also tried Jessica London, which is available through mail order or the internet, but I don’t think the quality of those clothes is very good. It seems to me that the people who make plus size think that women of such proportions have no taste or intelligence and will take whatever crap is available. The outfits I see also skew very old (hideous patterns) or very young (tons of cleavage and overly trendy). I just want a nice navy, grey, black or chocolate brown suit. Is that too much to ask? Any ideas?

Fat but not Frumpy

Dear FbnF,

I don’t know how high Torrid’s sizes go, or whether they’d have anything work-appropriate…hmm, according to their site they have 12-28 and 0-4 sizing, and a whole work section. And in the last week alone, I’ve complimented three different women on their gear (two tops and a skirt) and found out the clothes were from Torrid. Torrid actually seems to get that “plus-sized” does not mean “muumuu of shame,” which, seriously.

So, maybe give that a try; I don’t know if you could call that suiting, exactly, but another thing to consider if you want a proper suit and you don’t anticipate changing sizes in the next couple of years is to go to a tailor and have one built onto you. I’ve always wanted to do that myself.

It’s an investment, but if you’re not finding what you need in commercial fashion, maybe you should just blaze your own trail.

Hey Sars!

This has been bugging me for a while, and while I’m sure I could probably
find my answer elsewhere, I reeeally like writing to you. Heh! Anyway,
“‘Til death do us part,” as in the wedding vow? Why isn’t it “we” instead of
“us”? I always did well in English class, but mainly I just go with what
sounds right, and to me “we part” sounds way better than “us part.” Help,
thanks!

Never getting married, but still want to know

Dear Never,

“‘Til death do we part” makes no sense, though. In more “modern”-sounding English, the substance of the phrase is: “Until death parts us.” “Us” is the object of “parts”; you have to use an objective pronoun there. “We” is a nominative; it doesn’t work, and “’til death do we part” means that you continue parting until death, which, again…no sense.

Don’t let the elevated diction of the “do” throw you off; it’s a simple object-of-the-verb question, and the answer “’til death do us part” is correct.

In any case, recent times have seen an increase in the substitution “as long as we both shall live,” which is both less confusing and less morbid.

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