The Vine: June 15, 2012
I’m a guy in my late 30s. I’ve had a moustache and/or beard almost since I was able to grow one. It’s not a huge beard, about an inch wide, and follows the jaw line, with full goatee and ‘stache, but none on the cheeks or neck. I really don’t want to get rid of it, because I have a baby face. A few years ago a slip of the razor forced me to shave it all off and start over, and I looked like I was 12.
The problem is, while the hair on my head is mostly not losing its color yet, whole patches of my beard now grow in pure white. I’ve been using Just For Men for facial hair for years. I like it because it’s quick and easy, mix up, leave on for five minutes, shower, done. But over time I’ve developed a sensitivity to it. At first it was just my beard would feel itchy for a day or two afterwards, which was annoying, but bearable. Now, however, it dries out the skin on the underside of my nose to the point of causing scabbing. And if I’m not extremely cautious and let any of the dye get on my lips, they will chap severely, and no amount of Chapstick will heal them for a week.
I want to find a new brand of dye, but I’m lazy. Everything I’ve looked at seems to take an hour or more to apply, and/or make a huge mess, and the color doesn’t last long. If it’s going to be a big pain in the ass to keep dying it, I’ll give up and shave it off. I’m looking for a hair dye that’s safe for facial hair, is quick and easy to put on, and the color lasts at least a week, preferably two weeks.
Readers, any suggestions?
Beard Boy
Tags: Ask The Readers health and beauty
One solution would be to just go natural. I think it’s quite normal for mens’ beards to go grey/white before their hair does. If you have a baby face, the white in your beard would make you look older/more distinguished. Why not try it out for a while?
I’m a woman in my early 30s and I think natural would be just fine. A lot of guys my age are starting to get greying facial hair and it doesn’t look bad.
I have a friend my age who has a baby face and is very short (barely over 5 feet tall) and if he didn’t let the grey hair show through he’d look 14. I like it on him.
Otherwise, I’m no help, as I’ve never used male hair dye products. I’d honestly suggest going to a salon. It takes longer and costs more, of course, but they’ll know how to do it properly and probably have an idea of formulas that won’t hurt your skin.
I concur with the suggestion to just let it go. I have a friend with very dark hair (almost black) on his head. His goatee is lighter and has white patches. It looks fine. It just means he’s in his mid-30s. Plus, you don’t want to be the 55 year old dude with unnaturally dark facial hair. If you stop dyeing now, you can ease into your gray.
My dad also had this happen, and he just went natural. His beard went completely grey years and years before he got any grey hair on his head. I think it looks fine.
I’m with everyone else begging you to let it go natural. Just my $.02, but I’m a gal in my 30’s and I really prefer a guy who “owns it” when it comes to grey hair, on his head or face.
Sensitivities and allergies don’t fade with time. They get worse, because of the buildup of whatever chemicals are triggering your reaction. If you really want to dye your beard, go to a professional and explain exactly what happened and listen to their recommendations.
But I’d let it go if I were you. I’m thinking of the woman in the UK who had dyed her hair for years with the same product, and eventually it triggered such a severe reaction that she’s in a coma. Your body is trying to tell you something.
My 36yo husband has white patches in his beard (it sounds similar to yours – closely cropped, no hair on upper cheeks or neck, etc), and I love it. I’m with the other commenters – I’d let it go natural.
Go natural, premature grey is sexy. It’s when you hit your forties that you can agonize. Heh
Henna shampoo maybe? You can get them in health food stores. It will turn the gray reddish, but depending in the original color that might work
I agree that the natural look is pretty sexy, so don’t feel obligated to keep it up to attract the ladies and/or lads. But if you are determined to keep on dyeing (we all make various unpleasant sacrifices for vanity, don’t be shamed into not doing something that makes you comfortable and happier with yourself) I would suggest a niiiiice schmear of Vaseline on your nose and lips before applying the dye. It ought to protect the skin while the dye is in place. Rinse the dye very, very thoroughly, and then clean off the Vaseline.
I’m a man in my early 40s (I’ll just say it 42) and I have a full beard that is reddish-brown with grey while my head hair is a very dark – almost black – brown. Go natural young man and enjoy it. I’ve been told by many people that it is very sexy.
I agree with the “go natural” sentiment, but if you absolutely can’t let it go yet, try a henna dye. Henna’s permanent and is usually just as easy to apply as a chemical dye, although you’ll probably have to keep it on your beard a bit longer than five minutes. Most natural foods stores will carry henna products, and they’re available online as well.
Chances are excellent that you are reacting to something common to most, if not all, permanent commercial hair dyes, so switching brands is unlikely to help you. [My guess for the allergen is paraphenylenediamine (PPD)]. Continuing to use anything containing the substance in question will only worsen the allergy – probably significantly
If the problem is PPD, some semi-permanent dyes will be free of it, and henna. You could try one of those, or go natural.
I feel like I’m piling on with the “go natural,” but I wholeheartedly agree. My husband has had a beard since about his sophomore (?) year of college, and he’s 50 now. The white in his beard started pretty early on, two patches on the sides, which we called “colonies,” and since then the colonies have, shall we say, prospered.
On the one hand, I am not one to criticize what people want to do with their appearance (though I certainly have opinions). But when you think of what could do with the money saved….
Just remember that there’s really no way of removing henna. Probably not a problem with beard hair, though.
I’m not sure if henna is really the way to go. Pros: it’s great for your hair. Cons: If dark red is not your natural colour you might look odd and/or have to dye your hair as well. There are only a few shades of red to choose from with henna as far as I know. Also it’s not so easy to apply.
My BFF used to henna dye her hair (which was down to the middle of her back, so that probably adds to the difficulty) and her hair was super healthy but she said doing it was a real pain.
Personally I think your natural grey/white would look better, but then again maybe you would look good as a redhead.
You can actually remove henna, but 1) it would require…dye components, and 2) by the time I explain the whole procedure, you could have shaved your beard off and grown it back already.
My dad’s head hair (black/grey) and facial hair (red/pink) (hee) never matched. My boyfriend’s don’t match. My last boyfriend’s had weird rogue patches in it. Your loved ones think it’s neat, something unique about you that they love; nobody else even thinks twice about it.
I agree with all the other commenters that if you have that severe an allergy to dye already, it is probably a bad idea to keep dyeing with anything chemical, as you will probably only worsen the sensitivity, and end up in hospital or worse.
If you do want to dye it dark, you can do so with a mix of henna and indigo (see here: http://www.hennaforhair.com/) but it’s not going to take any five minutes. You’ll have to settle in and watch a movie or something with a mixture of herbal goop on your face. (I’m not knocking it; I dye my head hair with henna, but it is an old-school process.)
Seriously, go natural. Especially if you have a baby face. Since “men do not lose their social value with evidence of aging” (don’t get me started) you’ll be fine, and personally I think that white patches in a beard can be interesting and sexy anyhow.
Another vote for letting it go natural. My husband also has a beard that’s been steadily greying (and getting redder where it’s not white) since his late 20s. I like it. He’s also babyfaced – if he shaves it off he really does look like a giant baby. (Don’t tell him I said that.) Plus, dyeing facial hair never looks right – it always looks weird and fake, and is way more distracting than white patches ever would be.
Late to the table, here, but my husband just turned 30, and in the nine years since our first date he’s always had some white-blond beard growth — in stark contrast to his medium brown head, which shows no evidence of age at all. I like it. (I also like the baby face he insists on covering up with scratchy muttonchops, but that’s another matter.)
I agree with the suggestion to go to a professional. I also had the ridiculous idea that if you just want to darken up for special occasions, you could buy a really nice mascara or something? Probably not helpful, but I’m theatre people, and I’ve seen some crazy things…
White hair looks a lot better against a tan. I vote go natural, get a tan, and consider changing the length of your beard to a little shorter while the color changes to all white. I think it may not bother you so much if it’s not as long during this time; it’s not quite as jarring on a shorter cut.
Am I right in seeing a distinct pattern in the menfolk of Nation readers? My husband too has a “I just hate having to shave” beard that is revealing more mature colouring than the hair on his head.
He also looks 12 when clean shaven, so the salt n’ pepper colouring is great. Actually, he has recently professed to wanting to look like Mandy Patinkin when he “grows up” and I’m totally cool with that.
Of course, the next big vine question is when are women going to universally accept that hair does indeed grey in your 30s? Ha!
Women’s hair never goes grey, what are you talking about?! ;)
I found this henna bear dye that does come in other (all) colors.
http://www.hennahut.com
I’m a lady and I haven’t used it, (clearly), but it’s worth a try… and they also say ” 95% of our customers come to us “after” they have had a bad reaction to chemical hair dye.”
While I think natural would look nice, too, it’s your face and you should at least have some options from us besides “do what we think you should do.” :)
An unkempt beard exists, entirely, as one seriously itchy, overwhelmingly hairy magnet. Or better yet: a quiet patch of one way Velcro, so powerful it’ll drive you to the edge of self-mutilation. Anything and everything nearby — whether it be floating lint, a wrapping strand of your girlfriend’s hair, honey mustard, or $13 bread crumbs serving as decoration for spicy crab sushi (all four have spent at least 20 undisturbed minutes fastened to my face) — ain’t leaving if contact is made.
If you can stand one more “Me, too!”, I’m a 46-year old male with strawberry blonde hair and a coppery-red beard, with a white patch in the middle that seems to be gradually expanding. I’d never actually considered dye as an option, as I’d overheard a couple of female colleagues commenting on a male colleague who dyed his sideburns (the guy also had obvious hair plugs…), and were rolling their eyes at his vanity – the attempts to make the colors blend and look ‘natural’ were anything but, and the consensus was that he should just admit that he was getting older.
Honestly, it does seem to be a double standard – women aren’t encouraged to own their actual age, but men do seem to be. So I go with it. Although I reserve the right to shave my beard off if people start referring to me as “Santa”…