I am looking for a hair product. I have pretty fine, straight-as-a-board hair and it tends to get oily so I wash every day, but I am still getting the frizzies when I blow dry. I have tried different conditioners but the ones that are supposed to smooth your hair make mine greasy. I have tried the stuff you put on before you dry and it either makes my hair stick straight to my face because it has so much gunk on it or it doesn’t work at all.

So what I am looking for is something to help out with the frizz (I am not expecting miracles here, just something to flatten the top a little) and any help would be wonderful. If I can find it online even better.

Thanks,
Frizzy in the Morning

Dear Frizz,

I can tell you right now that the readership is going to tell you not to wash every day.I can also tell you that the every-other-day evangelists tend not to have fine hair, as we do, and thus do not really get that fine unwashed hair does not look full, or piece-y.It looks like Jennifer Jason Leigh’s hair in that scene in Georgia where they won’t let her get on the plane.(For those of you who skipped that movie: 1) see it, it’s great, and 2) very greasy and limp.)

I have very fine hair also, but wavy, so my suggestions may not work for you, but start with your shampoo — use an extremely light clarifying shampoo, or a shampoo specifically for thinning hair (even if yours isn’t).I use Progaine (don’t ask) and it’s extremely light.I’ve also had good luck with Philosophy’s all-in-one shampoo/conditioner/body wash, which gives my hair a little fullness on humid days.

For conditioner, try the very lightest one Pantene offers, and use a drop — literally, a drop.If the dollop is as big as a dime, it’s too big.It should barely coat your hands, and only use it on the ends of your hair; conditioner doesn’t help frizzies at the crown anyway.Or don’t use any at all.It doesn’t really do what it purports to for fine hair anyway.

For that misty frizz on top that just sort of crops up, traditional hair products are just too heavy for me, so I have two suggestions: 1) mousse, and 2) hand lotion.I’ve chucked all my hair products except spray in favor of lotion, because using a creme-based, light lotion just works better for me — gives me control of the frizzies, lets me work with the style, but doesn’t weigh my hair way down or make it stiff.Lubriderm’s SPF 15 formula is the current product, because it protects my color and smells a little beachy.Again, just use a smaller-than-a-dime blob to start with; you can use it while your hair’s wet, to set an up-style, but usually I smooth it on after I’ve dried my hair.

As far as mousses go, try Alterna’s; it doesn’t get sticky.

Readers: Hit it.And seriously, don’t suggest not washing.It does work great for some people with thick hair; that’s not the situation here.We want products.

Hi Sars,

Can the word “fuck” be used as a preposition?My friend the Grammarnista insists that it can, though she cannot produce an example.If this has been asked before, I’m sorry and never mind.

Signed,
I Spent Ten Minutes Proofing Three Sentences and My Mother Asks Why My Novel’s Not Finished Yet

Dear Ten,

The word can do a lot of things — noun, verb, adjective, interjection — but I don’t think it can function as a preposition.Substitute “fuck” for any of the words on this list and you’ll see that it just doesn’t make sense.”I went fuck the store”?”The cat hid fuck the bed”?”Carroll is fuck President and Garfield”?

The Grammarnista can’t produce an example because there really isn’t one.If y’all can come up with one, feel free to send it in and I’ll retract that statement, but…I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Dear Sars,

My situation starts out traditional, and then gets twisted just enough
that I’m at a loss as to what to do.Next fall, my ex-boyfriend is
getting married.And I’m invited to the wedding.We dated back in
college, we’re both a few years out now.He’s marrying the girl he
dated after me.Of course, it’s not that simple.

The guy’s kind of a jerk.At least he was at the time.We never
officially dated, we were just really really good friends who hung out
all the time and slept together.I, of course, fell hard for him, and
though I never considered him my “boyfriend,” for all emotional
intents and purposes, he was.He treated me like crap, would date
other girls while still sleeping with me, and yes, I was an idiot to
put up with this, but I learned.

Then he started dating my friend A.
After you read this, you’ll see why A and I are no longer on speaking
terms.The first night they got together, we were all at a party, and
all drunk.And I sort of did my best to convince her not to go for
him.It was a desperate move, and a horrible thing to do, and I
regret it.Well, they went for it anyway, got together, he regularly
cheated on her with me (I know, I know), they broke up, they got back
together, he cheated on her with another girl…Anyway, long story
short, after graduation, I moved away, he continued to proposition me,
but the distance was what I needed.I realized what was going on,
told him off, told him I deserved better and so did A.He got mad,
got over it, and our friendship’s been fine.We’ve seen each other at
weddings, but A’s never really been around.

When he told me he and A were getting married, at first I was a little
bothered, because I probably do have lingering feelings for him, but
if I think about it, I don’t want to be with him, knowing how horribly
I was treated.So all in all, I’m okay with the whole deal.

However, I am not excited about their wedding.All our friends know
what went down with us.I think that will make it awkward on my
part.I’m not dating anyone (and am quite happy with that).Worse,
all her friends know that I was the other woman in the relationship
(well, one of the other women).I would just not go, but I think that
would be even more obvious, as everyone knows that he and I are still
close friends and that I should be there.I feel bad about what
happened in the past, especially for hurting A, as we used to be
close.Plus, while I hate to admit this, I fear that I’ll be sitting
there during the ceremony and wish it were me he was marrying.It’s
illogical, but I don’t think any part of my relationship with him was
ever based on logic.

Is there anything I can do to make this less weird?Less like a
trainwreck?Or should I just go, suck it up, be careful to not drink
and say something stupid, and hope for the best?

Thanks,
Regretting the Past Just a Little Bit

Dear Past,

…”Obvious”?Yeah, of course it’s “obvious.”Your ex cheated on A with you; you don’t like the guy; of course you wouldn’t go, and of course everyone would understand why.What I don’t understand is why A invited you in the first place when your attendance would make things horribly awkward for you, him, A, the guests…

I also don’t understand how you’re “close friends” when 1) you have “lingering feelings” for the guy, 2) who treated you like crap, when 3) you only see each other at weddings…I mean, what?Come on.What would make it “less weird” is for you to acknowledge that it isn’t all kosher between the two of you, do the adult thing, and stay home.The focus of their wedding isn’t supposed to be a bunch of uncomfortable issues from the past.Make other plans and don’t feel obligated to explain them, because, again: obvious.

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