Dear Sars,

I have a very random question for you.It is not
about boys or cats or grammar.It is about my
fingernails.

My fingernails are weak.Weak like they rip if you
look at them funny.If I manage, through extreme
diligence and a ridiculous amount of attention, to
grow them past my fingertips, they are paper-thin and
will bend and rip like you would not believe.

In the past this wasn’t a huge problem for me, and I
would just cut my nails short and call it a day.But
I have several weddings in the next six months, and I
would kind of like to have nice nails. And I’d like to
use my own nails, since I can’t really justify the
expense and upkeep of acrylics.

I have tried that clear “hardening” nail polish, and
it has done exactly nothing for me.I have tried
looking up what sort of vitamin deficiencies might be
causing my paper-thin nails, but every book and
website says something different.Someone suggested
something about eating gelatin, but I’m sure how many
Jell-O Jigglers I’d have to slurp down to have decent
fingernails, and I feel like there should be a better
solution than that.(Though as a grad student,
inexpensive Jell-O is rather attractive…)

If any of your
friends or readers have any suggestions for
strengthening fingernails, I’d love to hear them.

Thanks!

I was going to make a joke about “getting nailed”
here, but couldn’t make it work

Dear Lenny Dykstra,

(…Well, you have to make your own fun in this job.)

I’ve never had this problem, but then, I tend to keep my nails as short as possible because I can’t be bothered with the maintenance.In my experience, though, leaving polish on your nails all the time does tend to weaken them.

I have no idea what dietary issues might lead to weak nails — nails, like hair, are dead tissue, so beyond a certain point there’s really not much you can do to “infuse” them with anything, no matter what Pantene tries to tell you — but this CNN piece might shed some light on various causes and solutions.

Readers?

Dear Sars,

Simply, we have fleas. Huge, black fleas that bite us everywhere. It’s
itchy, painful, and unappealing.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had fleas, but I figure it’s worth a shot to
ask. Is there any way to completely get rid of them without bombing? We
don’t really have anywhere we could go for a few hours while we bomb, except
maybe if we took all the clothes and bedding to the laundromat. We’ve
already washed everything, vacuumed and spritzed everything with tea tree
oil. (Plus we flea dipped kitty, she wasn’t too happy.) The fleas are still
here! So, any advice?

Also, any idea why I fear fleas, ticks, lice and mites; yet have absolutely
no problem with spiders, beetles, snakes and millipedes?

Please help,
My second sentence really doesn’t tip off the fact that I’m a writer, does
it?

P.S. Jersey beefsteak tomatoes are absolutely the best tomato in the
world.

Dear Flea,

Best postscript ever.

Second part first: I’d imagine you fear those bitty creatures because they’re, well, bitty.You can’t see them.I’ll say this for daddy longlegses, as much as they make me want to barf, at least you know one when you see it.(…Hate!)

First part second: I don’t know what to tell you about the fleas; I’d try bombing, and then bust out the yellow pages and call a pro, because my current cats don’t get fleas (no contact with the outdoors/other cats, really), and my parents’ cats did, but their fleas stayed local, and we never had to boil the sheets or anything like that.We just flea-powdered the shit out of them, everyone sneezed for ten minutes, end of story.

So, take the cat to a kennel, check into a hotel, and drop the bomb.Then go over everything again with whatever anti-flea remedy you were using before — everything.Don’t forget the drapes, the carpeting, and your clothes (all of them, even the ones in the closet.And your shoes).Go around all the baseboards and under all the furniture, and if your couch or living room chairs have fabric underpinnings, tip them up and hit those too.

And if the fleas still won’t leave, call the cavalry.Or ask the readers, like I’m doing, because some of them have dogs and outdoor pets and I don’t.

Hey Sars,

This one is a little embarrassing, so of course I’m
coming to you.I’ve been working out at a gym for the
past six months and over that time have figured out the
right clothes, sneakers, et cetera that make me feel
comfortable. I started running a few months back and
found that I couldn’t run in sweatpants (too heavy) or
shorts (they ride up as I’m not quite at my goal
weight yet), and the only thing I don’t get too
overheated in is yoga pants. They’re pretty clingy,
which is where the problem comes in.

I usually do
cardio, then weights, and just don’t enjoy doing the
weights first.The problem is, I sweat…a lot. But
the only spot on my pants that shows up wet and darker
is my inner thighs, probably because that’s where the
pants are the tightest on me. Which makes it look like
I either peed my pants or just have sweaty genitals.
It’s not the biggest problem, but when on the thigh
machines that require opening and closing your legs
constantly it gets awkward if anyone else is around.

I
know I can just suck it up and ignore it if anyone
gives me a weird look (which no one has), but it took
a long time of building up my confidence to even go to
the gym, and even longer to enter Boyzone in the
weights area. If people are around, I’ll sometimes
skip the machines I want to work on because of this,
so if there is a solution, or some type of material
yoga pant that doesn’t let sweat show through, I’d love
to hear about it.

Thanks,
Sweaty runner

Dear Perspiro Agnew,

Keeping in mind of course that it’s a gym, and people don’t care if you sweat as long as you’re a good gym citizen and wipe down the machines after, I’d advise black yoga pants.I got mine at Sahalie and they really don’t show anything — and after a 55-minute beating delivered by…er, “workout led by” Lisa of YogaZone’s “Power Yoga for Intermediates” tape, I am sweating like a hog in the Gobi.

Title Nine has a better selection of yoga pants in all sorts of colors, and their catalog is full of words like “wicking” and “circulation,” so they’re probably pretty good choices too.

You could also try Modell’s, or any other sporting goods store, for high-tech-fiber tennis skirts with the built-in shorts.They’re comfy, cool, and don’t show the gym your action.

Hit it, readers.

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