Used to work in a vet’s office, and we went through this all the
time.The problem is that flea eggs can lie dormant for long periods
of time, so an infestation just keeps coming in waves, with the cycle
repeating over and over.People go the flea-dip route, think they
have the problem, see a slight decrease, and then before long, they’re
ba-ack…

The very first thing I’d do is get one of the topical flea treatments
from your vet.They tend to be a lot less harsh than flea dips in my
experience, and they seem more effective.Vacuum the hell out of
everything, toss the bag if you have one, and get whatever comes out
of the vacuum out of your place ASAP.Get an insecticide treatment
for the carpet and follow the directions.Then wash any place the
cats or dogs sleep regularly, and keep this up.It can take several
months to get the last of them, so if you slack off, you’ll probably
see a return and get it as soon as you notice them.You may see
adults for even a couple of weeks after all this treatment.

Key fact — adult fleas live on the pets, but almost all other stages
of flea development are in your carpet, linens, et cetera.You have to
treat both, or the next generation just hatches out, latches onto your
pet, and starts over.

Caveat: I have never dealt with this when the fleas might be coming
from another source — a yard or another apartment.But I think that
once you get the problem under control, regular use of the flea
treatments (Frontline, Advantage, etc.), usually does the trick.

Hope this helps!

J

Thanks for the vet-adjacent advice!Sooooo many readers recommended Frontline, Advantage, and similar treatments; here are some other suggestions (as always, multiple mentions get an asterisk).

Print out a clip ‘n’ save from Wikipedia’s article on fleas and flea control
Boric acid (sold as Borax): sprinkle on carpet and vacuum up; launder linens in it; and/or bathe…well, “attempt to bathe” cat in mild solution of it*
Vacuum every other day for two to six weeks, escorting vacuum bag/contents out of house immediately*
Put a flea collar in the vacuum bag
Rent a steam cleaner
Lavender oil
Table-salt furniture and rugs
Diatomaceous earth*
Prevention flea pills
Put a dollop of dishwashing soap in a bowl of water; place bowl near light source; fleas fall in and drown*
Put flypaper near a light source
Seven powder
Keep the cat inside
Neem powder
Fleabusters*
Do NOT use tea trea oil (not good for cats; not good at killing fleas)
Get rid of your carpeting
Bengal’s flea spray
Treat areas immediately outside your house/apartment — doorway, foyer, et cetera*
Move (heh)
Fog a second time a week later to kill off any stragglers
Add small amounts of brewer’s yeast to your food and to the cat’s food
Program liquid anti-flea treatment
Siphotrol spray
Mycodex Environmental Spray
CapStar
Ask your vet what s/he recommends

When boyfriend and I were traveling yesterday, I was doing a crossword puzzle.The clue was “They may be false,” the answer was “pretenses.”This got me thinking; why do we say “false pretenses?” Isn’t a pretense, by definition, false?Where does the expression come from?

Finally have something to write The Vine about

Here’s the definition of “pretense.”It does seem like “false pretenses” is a redundancy; let’s see if Garner has a note.

…Nope.Barnhart’s (my etymology dictionary) doesn’t note it either.I did a quick Google, and found a mention on Wikipedia in a listing of redundant expressions…but then this one is disputed, and I don’t disagree with their reasoning, namely that “false” here could mean “dishonest” (vs. “untrue”), but it’s a pretty fine hair to split — and I’m not finding a ton of citations, so while I think it can be redundant, this is the usage right now and there’s not much point trying to stamp it out now.

Dear Sars,

I have a bit of a dilemma, which I hope you can help me unravel.One of my
oldest friends, Jane, is planning on getting married this August.I am a
bridesmaid, one of my other close friends is the maid of honor, and we are
both absolutely thrilled to take part in this wedding.The problem?Jane’s
fiancé is still married to another woman.He’s been separated from his wife
for several years now, but he never got around to filing for divorce until
relatively recently, several months after he and Jane decided to get
married.I can forgive him for this because they are so obviously in love
that I’m not worried in the slightest about any lingering doubt on his part.
I think the delay was due to general life-upheaval type stuff for he and
Jane over the past year, as well as some degree of laziness.Anyway, the
court dates have just started, and it’s likely Jane’s fiancé won’t be
officially divorced until July at the earliest.

Jane has a long and dramatic history of leaping into situations without much
thought, this wedding being just the latest example.She’s already put
deposits down on a location for the reception, DJ, flowers, et cetera without
really being able to afford it.Now, in a not entirely unexpected move,
Jane’s parents have refused to give her any money or allow her to send out
save-the-date cards until her fiancé is officially divorced (which would be
meaningless anyway at that point, with a month before the wedding).

I won’t
go into detail about the extremely effed-up relationship Jane has with her
family, but let’s just say that they are unbelievably poor at communication
and not very supportive in general. (Okay, one story. Her parents managed to
attend a week-long professional conference in the city where Jane lives
without once seeing her or even calling her. That is just so bizarre to me.)
As far as I know, they haven’t laid it out for Jane in such a direct manner,
instead choosing to channel the decision to withhold funds through Jane’s
sister or one of her other bridesmaids.Typical for this family, really.
Jane has told me that if her parents won’t support her financially, they
will get married anyway, just on a much smaller scale.It sounds good on
paper, but I highly doubt Jane’s put any real thought into that scenario,
and I don’t think they will be able to pull it off.

Now onto the actual dilemma.The maid of honor and I were just sent a long
letter from Jane’s sister (writing “on behalf of [her] parents”) asking us,
as Jane’s closest friends, to try to convince her to delay the wedding until
October.Now, on the one hand, I do believe it would make sense for Jane to
postpone the wedding, but on the other hand, I feel like I should support
Jane fully and not get involved with her family’s bullshit.I’m really
pissed that these people are asking me and the maid of honor to do their
dirty work for them, but I essentially agree with them.What do I do, Sars?

Signed,
I Also Already Shelled Out $200 On A Bridesmaid’s Dress

Write back to Jane’s sister and inform her politely that it’s not appropriate for you to act as a messenger in this case; the family should address any concerns they have with Jane directly, but you won’t be able to serve as their intermediary, thanks for understanding, et cetera.

Because it isn’t appropriate.Your concerns are another story, and if you aren’t convinced that Jane is going to get it together for a smaller wedding, or that she has a felt understanding of the time constraints at work here, you should bring that up to her — well, really, the maid of honor should bring it up, given that, if Jane gets all hectic with the clock ticking down, it’s the MoH who’s going to have to deal with picking up that slack.(Or not; if Jane doesn’t have her shit together on certain key planning issues, that’s on her.)

And it’s probably time to make that point to her a little more strongly — that these things have to be done in an order, that they take time to plan, and that there’s only so much of that that’s your responsibility, so does she want to make a list with you, or maybe spitball some scenarios for what’s going to happen if they don’t make the August date?Don’t deal with the family at all; I feel them, kind of, but don’t stick your hand in that even if you agree.Instead, try to make Jane see that “Plan B” and “chucking the plan entirely” aren’t really the same things.And if she doesn’t get it, decide how much of that mishegas you want to deal with now, and don’t deal with any past that point.

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