I have a few suggestions for your reader who wanted a tattoo.My first piece of advice is one that people rarely take: don’t get a tattoo until you’re 25, and make sure you’ve been wanting the design for at least a year.

More importantly, after you pick out a tattoo artist you like, you should contact the state board of health and the Better Business Bureau to inquire about complaints.It’s an easy phone call that can save lots of anxiety.

Finally, follow the tattoo artist’s care instructions to the letter.Keep the bandage on it for at least three days.Yes, you’ll want to sport the tattoo around town.It’ll still be there in three days.The number one cause of crummy-looking tattoos is improper care.

Craig

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Dear Craig,I sort of agree with the first bit, and I sort of don’t.I got my first two tats when I was 18 and 21, respectively, and you’re right — I wouldn’t get either of them again.But the tomato, I got when I was 23, and my only regret about that one is not getting it sooner.But I think Craig’s point, really, is: don’t get a tattoo.Get your tattoo.My first tats…barf.I mean…a star.And…a moon.Not that those aren’t perfectly fine designs; they just don’t say anything about me.I’ve had my next tat in mind for a while, and it’s got meaning.The moon is just…a moon.

Now to the second bit…yes, follow the instructions, but make sure you know what to do if you have a weird reaction to the Neosporin (which I do, for some reason).I had to slick mine up with lotion instead, but nobody told me that, so it looked like a bloody puffy sticker for three days, and it’s still not quite right.And don’t bandage it too tightly, either; that can cause leeching and fuck up the tat.

But everyone is different in these regards, and individual tats can behave differently on the same person; have a good enough relationship with the artist that you can phone up the next day and ask, “Is this normal?”A lot of places will send you home with a wound-care sheet that covers a range of reactions, advises you not to pick, et cetera.This is where tat-sporting friends can come in handy.

And now, to the recommendations.Again, an asterisk means more than one reader had the same suggestion.

April Love (malutattoo.com)*
Sunset Strip Tattoo*
Rachel at the Purple Panther on Sunset Blvd.*
Kim Durham at Prix Body Adornment, also on Sunset (www.prixbodypiercing.com*)
Zulu Tattoo on S. Crescent
Black Wave Tattoo on S. La Brea
Body Modification Extreme’s website for recommendations and FAQs (www.bmezine.com)*

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Hi Sars,I would love to know what websites or other resources your readers would suggest for someone who’s a near-total fashion victim but has virtually no extra $$$ to throw down. I need hair help, makeup help, clothing help, you name it. Even if I can’t buy a lot of stuff, I still love reading about current style trends (for average-looking people, not runway models); I just have no idea where to look, or even what to Google.

I Don’t Care What Anyone Else Says, I LOVE Stacy and Clinton

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Dear That Sound You Hear Is My In Box MELTING,Wow, where to start.Well, for clothes, if you live near an H&M, I’d start there; you can also check out Forever 21, which is a better option because you can actually order from their website.The clothing is cheap, but not as crappily made as most of H&M’s stuff, so you can buy the trendier stuff and then not feel bad about throwing it away when it goes out of style next year, because you paid six dollars for it.

Another strategy that I enjoy is paging through Lucky, dog-earing the cute stuff I must own, and then going on eBay and setting up a favorites search to find it for cheap — I put a price ceiling into the search and let the internet do the rest.This is an awesome solution for when you really extra-want a pair of fancy designer jeans, but can’t justify the retail cost.Also, you can get rad vintage dresses for, like, ten bucks a pound.And if you need something fancy, try Bluefly.com — it isn’t cheap, but it’s less expensive than you’d pay retail.I scored an armload of Helen Wang minis for about two hundred dollars and I’ve worn the hell out of all of them.

Hair help…hmm.I get around this by letting my hair wrangler experiment on me and taking the guinea-pig markdown, and I also used to go to the beauty school on 34th.Brow waxes, two bucks.Of course, sometimes my brows didn’t match afterwards, but you can’t have everything.Anyway, beauty schools are a great way to do maintenance and upkeep for pennies.But as far as haircuts go…honestly, I’d spend the extra money.Unless you have a really easy style, in which case, Supercuts it up.I have layers and highlights and blah blah blah, and even if I didn’t, ain’t nobody touch this head but Roger, because a cheap haircut is more expensive in terms of tears of rage.

Make-up…you’re asking the wrong girl as far as applying it, but as far as buying it, again: eBay.Just make sure the listing says it’s unopened.I also like Wet ‘n’ Wild, which, yeah, I know, but the quality has improved since we were tweens — and if you live in NYC, go to Duane Reade and bag some of their Apt. 5 gear.

Generally: watch What Not To Wear; leaf through Lucky at the library; buy lots of black and charcoal grey; don’t buy trendy items that don’t suit you or that you feel uncomfortable in, because it’s wasted money if you don’t wear the shit; ask your friends; butter AB Chao up and get her to do your liner; have a white elephant fashion party and trade clothes with your friends; eBay, eBay, eBay.

Okay, readers.Let’s narrow the parameters a bit here.You’ve got no makeup, a bunch of split ends, a date tomorrow night…and only $100.Go.

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Dear Sars,I’m a huge Tomato Nation fan, and really respect the solid,
level-headed advice you give in each day’s Vine.I’d like your opinion
on a matter of gift etiquette.

My cousin, with whom I was very close growing up, very thoughtfully
sent me a gift subscription to Southern Living when I moved into my new
(and first!) house.We had spoken about the great recipes and she
remembered that I did not have my own subscription, but it had been in
passing conversation and I had forgotten.

When the first issue showed
up, I didn’t immediately connect it to her (it came without any sort
of card or announcement), but when I figured it out a few weeks later,
I both called to thank her and sent her a note.Three months later, my
expected next issue did not arrive so I checked in with customer
service.They tell me that the entire balance on the subscription is
unpaid and they’ve therefore suspended delivery.

We haven’t spoken since the holidays, which is not unusual as she leads
an extremely busy life (she’s in the Reserve, works full time, is
getting a second advanced degree, has two small children and a husband
who’s pursuing a PhD), but according to the nice customer service
folks, they’ve sent more than one notice.So here’s my dilemma: do I
call her and let her know, or do I pay it myself/forget about it?

Thanks,
Do I really need more banana bread recipes?

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Dear Mmm, Banana Bread,I would pay it myself or let it go, just because…it’s not a conversation you want to have, really.Whether she just forgot or her family can’t afford it or whatever, it’s going to be rather awkward…and she may discover the oversight herself at some point, and be kind of embarrassed that it happened (and that you knew but didn’t say anything), but I think that’s probably preferable to calling her and saying, basically, “You didn’t pay for this gift.”The other possible solution, if she’s also a subscriber, is to ask, casually, in passing, if she’s been getting her issues, because you haven’t, and you think your mail carrier is stealing them.No need to mention your conversation with customer service; just mention that you only got that one issue.She may make a mental note and re-up the subscription, or she may not, but that’s a good, non-awkward way of letting her know that she’s in arrears on it, without letting her know you know.

But generally speaking, I’d just leave it.People accidentally throw out renewal/subscription notices all the time, and if that’s what happened, well, it’s probably not worth the awkwardness it would cause if you pointed it out.

Tags:   Ask The Readers   etiquette   rando   retail