Hello Sars:

Just a preface: I’m not a girly girl. Never have been. I’m more the type that falls into “chick” category — but that’s another letter for another time.

Here’s the deal: dammitalltohellandwhatnot. A boy is causing me to become girlier than I’ve ever been before and it’s messing with my mind. I’ve never checked my email every 20 minutes or done the entire “dial his number but hang up before it rings” thing. Ever. Yet this behavior has saturated my life for the last two weeks. And what’s worse is that I only have bits of evidence confirming my suspicion that he is interested in me. Usually I’m just like, “Phhhh…whatever.” But now I’m all analyzing every bit of correspondence I receive from him, and what’s weird is that I’m not even sure if this guy is someone I want to pursue. Why is my inner girly-girl side freaking out so much? Is she just horny? Is it because it’s spring? How can I regain my calm, cool, and apathetic chick persona that I love so dearly, but still embrace the neat-o-ness of having a mega-crush?

Sincerely,
I Can’t Believe I Used The Phrase “Mega-Crush”

Dear I Can’t Believe,

The warm weather might have something to do with it.Or boredom — maybe you unconsciously like the idea of mooning over a boy to give your mind something to do, more than you really like the boy himself.Or perhaps it’s been a while, and you forgot the combined agony and ecstasy of crushing on someone.After three-plus years with one guy, I know that I’d completely forgotten the way a crush can scramble your brain and make you go, “Dude, this bites.Tee hee hee!”

As a cool chick that affects a calm and apathetic exterior myself, I can tell you that, once in a while, you just have to give in to the squealies.Don’t fight it, because fighting it just makes it worse.Your state of inner quiet will return eventually.

Hi Sarah.

Recently I met a woman at a wedding across the country.We hung out a lot over the long weekend, did some dancing, and fooled around a bit before heading home to cities not too near each other.It was all very casual and fun — the Stereotypical Guy’s Dream.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with a fun weekend.But, well — she’s pretty awesome.I wish the other five (!) weddings I’m attending this year involved friends of hers.Sadly, they don’t.

Can you recommend even trying to start a relationship that will have to be long-distance, at least at first?Neither of us has the money for frequent visiting.It seems like a lot to try to overcome.Did I mention that I liked her a lot?

Thanks,
Barnaby, Hardly Sleeping

P.S.By the way, I’m 6’4″, understand the infield-fly rule, and don’t, to my knowledge, have a woman’s a…ah, never mind, I don’t live near you either.

Dear Barnaby,

My father once told me that it’s better to do something and regret it than to do nothing and regret it.Dad isn’t really one for the philosophical pronouncements, but when he does bust one out, it’s usually good.

Write her a note — a card or an email — and tell her that you know the wedding hook-up situation is kind of awkward, but, you know, you think she’s pretty awesome and you wish you were going to see her at the other weddings.

There’s no need to get ahead of yourself at this stage and worry about visiting back and forth or the mortality rate of long-distance relationships.Just start by telling her that you dig her, and you want to stay in touch if she’s cool with that.Then see what happens.

And what the hell — start going to my friends’ weddings.We’ll sort something out.

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