The Vine: March 21, 2001
Dear Emily…uh, I mean Sarah,
I’m in dire need of some wedding-gift etiquette.
My husband and I got hitched in the summer of 1999, and our best man gave us the gift of a voucher for several nights at a very swank little getaway in a remote location. Most newlyweds would find this to be the most romantic and wonderful of presents.
While we do appreciate the gift, we are completely unable to use the voucher. For some bizarre reason, our best man forgot that we have child-related obligations that prevent us from leaving town. In the year since the wedding we’ve hung onto to the voucher, hoping to find some opportunity to use it, but reality has set in and it just won’t be possible.
Our best man has asked several times if we’ve taken the vacation, and we bashfully admit we haven’t. I know he’s disappointed (it’s a VERY nice lodge).
What should we do? Should we return the voucher to him and explain that we just aren’t able to take that kind of holiday? Do I phone the lodge and ask for a rebate? Do I slyly pass the voucher on to another friend, swear her to secrecy, and then make her describe the vacation in detail for re-telling purposes? I’m stumped. Please help!
The Not-So-Newlywed Bride
Dear Not-So,
You can’t leave town…at all? Not even for a weekend? You can’t make arrangements for the child or children for two days? Ever? I must assume that said child or children is in the process of actively, literally dying, because otherwise I just don’t see why you couldn’t leave him/her/them with a sitter or relative for a day or two and enjoy some alone time with your husband.
If you can’t, you can’t. Return the voucher and explain that, while you appreciate the lovely thought and you’d hoped to go to the lodge, you just can’t, and you hope he or another friend can get some use out of it.
But you really should accept the gift and use it in the spirit in which it’s intended. I don’t mean to sound flip, but again, unless the kid or kids is on the brink of death, find a qualified caretaker and take a few days off. The shorties don’t need you that badly. Cut the cord.
Tags: etiquette kids
