The Vine: March 22, 2001
I’ve been with my girlfriend for more than two years. I’m happy, but lately I have been acting retarded. She is super cute and charming and she took this class, and met this guy. He knew only her first name from the class, but apparently he works in the town hall, and looked up her name in the voter registration lists (she has a very unusual first name, and there were only two in the city) and called her. So I thought this guy was scamming on her, right?
Well. She told him she was involved with someone. But he still calls and emails her and stuff. And for some reason I am turning into a paranoid freak. I don’t want to be the kind of jerk who isolates my girlfriend from new friends. I love her. But I can’t help making a face at the answering machine when there’s a message from him, and I balked when she said she wanted to have him over for dinner, and she dropped it. (I’ve yet to meet him. He could be perfectly nice, although she says he is a Republican.)
For the record, I’ve never felt this way about her friends from work, or her other activities. Just this one guy. Can jealous feelings ever be okay? Have I gone over the edge?
Thanks.
I’m just a jealous guy
Dear Guy,
It’s not jealous feelings themselves that create problems; it’s when you can’t acknowledge them and get past them that you run into trouble.
In all fairness, the guy in question sounds semi-creepy; that kind of stunt is charming in the movies, but in real life it’s a bit ooky. Still, you have to make a command decision to trust your girlfriend, and even if the guy’s existence sets your teeth on edge, you can’t react.
A little jealousy is okay. Feeling it is fine. Just try to keep it in bounds, and to yourself, because it doesn’t sound like you have anything to worry about.
Tags: boys (and girls)
