The Vine: March 29, 2001
Hi,
Okay, here’s the deal. I’m 20, never had a serious relationship. But have always been “boy-crazy” (a.k.a. see a guy I like, develop crush on said guy, engage in stalkerish/obsessive tendencies).
In April, I started a new job in a nice office. These past few months, I worked long hours and didn’t get to see my friends much. And oh, did I mention I don’t have any guy friends and am generally very shy toward guys I like?
Anyway, there’s this guy. He works at the office. But he travels a lot. So I see him intermittently. Like, maybe once every few weeks. Now, in an office full of “adults,” he looks deceptively young (he’s 30, but looks 23), being one of the few attractive single guys there.
I had the “fortune” of being put on the same golf team with him at the company golf tournament early in July. Having only seen him around a few times before, this was the chance to really get to know him. Of course, I was looking my worst, decked out in sun-protective gear. And my atrocious golf techniques were put out on display for this athletically inclined fellow. Lucky me.
Anyway, a co-worker’s wedding reception last month put me in yet another uncomfortable situation when he ended up sitting across from me at dinner. For some reason, I just wasn’t very hungry that night. Hmm…
Okay, so after all that background, I haven’t told you the really important stuff. That a) I have a crush on this guy which I have half-admitted to only my best friend; b) he has never acted in any way that would lead me to believe he could be remotely interested in me; c) I obviously harbor dillusional fantasies of how he secretly likes me, and is either shy or fighting the attraction for a really good reason.
What do you think I should do? First of all, I’m wondering if I like him because he is the only semi-decent person available (similar to the “world is going to end, we are the only people left” syndrome). Or am I perpetuating the habit I’ve had all along of crushing on people I know I will never actually have a relationship with, thus keeping me safe? Plus, even if pigs could fly and he liked me, it would just be in poor taste to start a relationship with a co-worker.
With all that being said, I cannot get this infuriating person off my mind. Any suggestions?
Struck By Evil Cupid’s Arrow
Dear Struck,
Picture him taking a crap. That should do it.
Just kidding. Why not just let yourself crush on him? He’s a bit old for you, I think, and a co-worker, so an actual relationship is pretty much out of the question, but no harm ever came of daydreaming about a boy, even an unsuitable one. Eventually, you’ll meet a “real” crush, or Work Boy will do something dorky and you’ll go, “Ew, he’s not all that,” and get over it, but as long as you haven’t built a shrine to him in your cubicle with little candles and whatnot, I don’t see a problem.
Yeah, it seems stupid and embarrassing, but it’s totally normal, and it’ll pass on its own.
Tags: boys (and girls) workplace
