The Vine: March 6, 2009
Happy birthday, Gen! Rock that steak.
*****
Sars,
I am a guy and I need casual tops for the cooler months.I have plenty of button-down shirts of varying degrees of dressiness, but still I always feel overdressed going out with friends in clothes I also wear to the office.I wear sweatshirts or long sleeved Ts sometimes, but unless its a pretty nice sweatshirt, I feel slovenly.I love the look of a guy in a nice sweater…but I have this not so tiny problem with sweaters.
Man boobs.Nice, B-cup moobs.
In a button-down shirt in a non-clingy fabric I’m fine, but put on most sweaters and I look like a Victoria’s Secret model.I’m not THAT overweight, but my body is just shaped like a girl’s up there.I even just lost fifteen pounds, but that all came off my middle, which only serves to accentuate the man boobs even more.ARGH!
And no, I’m not going to go to the gym and work on my pecs; let’s just be real, here.
So, I need a brand or style or place to go for sweaters in a material that won’t cling to my chest like Buffy on Spike.Or suggestions for getting them not to cling.
Sweaterophobia
Dear Phobe,
Hee, “moobs.”
Okay: I don’t have a suggestion of my own, really…except to wonder if maybe wearing a snug t-shirt under the sweater, one that sort of holds everything in/flattens everything out, wouldn’t at least reduce the appearance of the moobs and give you a better line under the sweater of your choice.
But let’s see what the readers have to say.
Tags: Ask The Readers retail
They do make body shaping garments for men. Here’s what a quick googling turned up: http://www.undergear.com/
I think Sars hit the nail on the head. Wear a foundation garment underneath, even if just a snug tee, and worry less about the sweater itself. That said, something with some texture like a cable-knit might be more forgiving than a smoother knit.
I personally can’t imagine wearing a sweater by itself anyway. (And I mean, other than “just” my bra underneath.) Wearing an underlayer will also keep your sweater sweat-free longer, which is nice for non-washable knits.
Agreed — can you get some sort of man-sized sports bra?
And that UnderGear site is better than Bravo’s supermodel show for oogling pecs.
And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a “foundation garment”, per se. Check out compression t-shirts in the sports shops – UnderArmor is one brand I’m familiar with – and even a tight base layer T should help (I’ve been known to pull the same stunt with bicycle shorts and a favorite pair of jeans that are just on the edge of not fitting until I get back on the bicycle…).
Heavier cotton sweaters should hang better, I think. Lands’ End has a lot of nice ones.
Phobe: Wovens are your friend.
Cold Weather Shirts: I’m dubious about your being able to find something to wear under sweaters or other knits with enough lycra in it to flatten the bulges. Knits as outerwear, in general, are a bad idea for you. (Knits include not just sweaters, but T-shirts, polo shirts, henleys, thermal shirts, fleece, etc.). If your heart is set on wearing sweaters, buy a heavy-gauge knit, rather than a fine-gauge, and buy it at least one size LARGER than your usual size – and wear a woven shirt underneath it. I would suggest, instead, wearing a fine-gauge knit turtleneck UNDER your woven, long-sleeved shirt. This would make an office-type shirt look more casual; so would wearing a button-down collar not buttoned down. You can also try wearing the same kind of sweater under a more casual long-sleeved shirt – a shirt made of corduroy, or cotton flannel, or denim, or wool, shirts with band collars, etc. – or you can wear one of those shirts by itself, without the sweater. You can wear an insulated shirt, if it’s really cold. Instead of a sweater, you could wear a vest over your shirt. There are also casual shirts with an ethnic vibe: Indian shirts and Mexican shirts, made in heavy woven fabrics, meant to be worn outside your trousers (also helpful for minimizing bulges; there are a lot of different styles out there.
For the summer (which is rapidly approaching), look for Hawaiian shirts, if those suit your personality and taste, or even a short-sleeved shirt in a nice heavy linen, often available in myriad colours in stores such as Daffy’s (New York and Philadelphia, at least), or short-sleeved versions of ethnic shirts (again, Indian shirts, Mexican shirts and the like); all of these will look fine worn outside trousers or jeans.
My hubby does not have moobs :), but I purchased for him some lightweight sweaters (v neck and round neck) which he wears with a buttondown UNDER. The buttondown sort of takes away the clingy to the body thing and may help. Also, looks really handsome!
If you can’t bring yourself to wear shapewear – and a plain ol’ size-too-small cotton tee doesn’t do it – check your sporting supplies store. My husband has an assortment of “compression tees” that he wears as workout gear or under his martial arts gui. They’re meant to support your body and protect against abrasion, which means they smash everything in.
Including his moobs. Which are normally quite perky (his words, I just agree with the man).
My brother has a similar problem that he solves via layering. Mostly, he wears button downs under sweaters, and I swear you’d never know that his chest isn’t perfectly flat. (The only time you can tell is when he wears just a tee-shirt.) I think heavier knits, sturdier fabrics will help, too. Anything too thin will just make all the stuff you don’t want to show off show more.
If you’re looking for some light outerwear, too, my boyfriend, who is not a small man, wears a lot of track and military style jackets like this one: http://tinyurl.com/cg96my. Even the extra large ends up pretty tight on him, but they’re not stretchy so they don’t accentuate anything.
Another vote for the button-down UNDER sweater – I actually really dig that look regardless of the physique it’s covering. Maybe go with a slightly snugger fit on the button-down than you’d wear if it were solo, to reduce extra bulk. But they look really cute under fine-gauge wool v-necks, mock turtle with partial zip neck (I’m sure there’s an actual word for that style), or just a simple crewneck sweater. I think for these styles, J. Crew is your friend (though foe of your wallet), or the men’s dept. at a Macy’s-esque dept. store.
My unfailing authorities, Trinny and Susannah, say you should layer (http://tinyurl.com/dcynmr). They say a t-shirt with an open button-down over it, but I would also say that a cool scarf (in a light summery fabric) can both skim over your pecs and elongate the line of your torso.
Am I being too judgmental if I say “And no, I’m not going to go to the gym and work on my pecs; let’s just be real, here” bugged me?
Mmmmm…. thick-woven, cable-knit turtleneck sweaters….
There is no man that does not look hot in these. My husband is also not a small guy, and this looks fantastic on him. I got his at J. Crew, but that was probably ten years ago. As others pointed out, the key is a really heavy knit, preferably wool.
@Fred, just for the record, “foundation garment” does not equal bra. It means anything worn to anchor an outfit; almost anything which is next to the skin/not on public view (and, of course, unfortunately sometimes ON public view … but that’s another tangent, and this one is probably enough …). T-shirts and compression clothing would fit the bill.
Please just no turtlenecks under a sweater. That look = eunuch! I find it so incredibly unsexy. Like Alec Balwin in his Schweaty Balls sketch. No schweaty balls please!!
OMG. undergear is my new favorite website. Love the “scroll over image to magnify” option…
If you live near a Macy’s or Bloomingdale’s try making an appointment with their personal shopper. Most of them don’t charge for this, expecting to make on you buying what they suggest. They’ll help you find casual styles that look good on you, which you can then apply when shopping at Old Navy or similar.
@ Allie – I recently watched a program on BBC-America about manboobs. (I know, I know. I will watch just about anything). One of the basic premises of the program was about how, for many men, they have nothing to do with being overweight or exercising, but are caused by genetics and hormones.
So, to Phobe, I realize this wasn’t your question but if you’re extremely bothered by your appearance maybe it’s worth talking to your doctor about?
Another in favour of button-downs (and no, NOT turtlenecks, with apologies to Jerry Seinfeld) under v-neck sweaters. I can think of nothing that makes me just want to make gooey eyes at a dude more than the button-down/sweater combo. If this is what your office considers dressy, you can roughen it a bit for a night out with a pair of nice jeans.
@Allie – a little judgemental, yes. He was just making a joke.
@ Allie – we are in accord.
Phobe – you might have to decide certain sweaters just aren’t flattering on you and move on. I mean…you can love a style/cut/category of clothing all you want, but some things are just a no-go. There’s a reason I don’t wear peach; it looks like shit on me. Same for pencil skirts.
My husband struggled with the looking-too-dressy-in-a-button-down-for casual-goings-on issue, and solved it in two steps. First, he added a few more buttondowns to the mix, ones that were a little more casual and a little less office (Banana Republic v. John W. Nordstrom). Then he jsut started working ’em with nice jeans, untucked. Throw in a leather jacket or a sport coat, and it’s a nice look that’s put-together but not too Brooks Brothers.
But never shun exercise. Do it. Be healthy. The results will follow. It will improve the way you look and feel, and will help you keep the 15 lbs off. And it will diminish the moobs.
Allie – Am I being too judgmental if I say “And no, I’m not going to go to the gym and work on my pecs; let’s just be real, here” bugged me?
Yes, you are. He’s being honest about what he’s willing to do, and it’s useful information for anyone answering him. He’s not passing judgement on anyone who goes to the gym, he just says he won’t. Why is that bad?
Button-down under sweater–a casual button-down, untucked, with the bottom hanging out, and jeans=HOT. My husband dresses like this most of the time these days and I am loving it. I’m kind of sad it’s getting too warm for that now, actually.
Re: Gym comment: Spot reducing doesn’t work, anyway.
I say it’s better to be over dressed than underdressed. I guarantee everybody thinks you’re the classiest guy around if you never wear t-shirts, and that can’t be a bad thing.
@Diane:
I’m old enough to remember when the term “foundation garment” started replacing “girdle” in the adverts in the Sunday newspapers… Wasn’t actually thinking “bra”, but more along the lines of the various body-shapers that show up in my wife’s catalogs. I tend to think of athletic underthings as a separate category from the strictly aesthetic (or the medically necessary).
For most guys, even t-shirts are optional anymore, so aside from boxers/briefs, we’re not taught to think about “foundation garments”. I just wanted to make sure Sweaterphobia didn’t end up fixated on a term that might be almost as loaded as “sweater”.
“Allie – Am I being too judgmental if I say “And no, I’m not going to go to the gym and work on my pecs; let’s just be real, here” bugged me?”
====================
“Yes, you are. He’s being honest about what he’s willing to do, and it’s useful information for anyone answering him. He’s not passing judgement on anyone who goes to the gym, he just says he won’t. Why is that bad?”
There’s also this: as Jem points out, it’s likely that the Viner wouldn’t see any difference if he did work out. Gynomastia (SP?) is almost never solved with excercise; something to with the nature of the tissue insofar as it doesn’t have muscle which would respond to excercise. I think, anyway; I’m not a medical person.
There are always implants: http://tinyurl.com/65blwr
I’m kidding. The pics of those pecs look really unnatural to me.
I would think that anything un-clingy would help, with a looser fit. And Groucho glasses, so no one’s looking at your chest. (Seriously, you’re thinking about this WAY more than anyone else.)
@bossyboots -that look rocks, with the nice jeans, and the shirt-tails out. Yummy yummy yum!!!
Phobe, while all the suggestions here are great, I also second whomever suggested that you maybe talk to the doctor about your man-boobs. A dear friend of mine, who is of the male variety, recently had a reduction done because he had gynecomastia and no amount of gym-ratting was going to change his chest. So he did it, spent a couple weeks recovering and you honestly can’t tell he had anything done at all.
So, your situation may not be dire or anything like that, but I thought I’d throw it out there.
My husband also has moobs. The t-shirt or undershirt underneath does wonders, even with fine-gauge knits and close-fitting stuff. V-neck sweaters help a bit, because (as they do in women) they make the chest appear flatter.
I disagree with the person who said not to wear knits; knits CAN work just fine, with the appropriate gear underneath.
Jem’s point was one of the first things to pop into my head…there *might* be a hormonal reason for that and it might be worth getting some tests done just to rule that out. It’s just food for thought; no offense intended.
I also agree with Wehaf. Some people just…don’t go to the gym. Time, money (those memberships are not cheap), transportation, and a general hatred of exercise are pretty good reasons, I think. I mean, yes, we all *should* exercise, but I’m guilty of skipping it more often than not, as well.
Kelly…thank you for that link. …Wow. :)
Yeah, I see why he made a flip remark about not going to the gym, because SOOO much internet fashion advice is along the lines of “I’m looking for tops to hide my middle” “Do some sit-ups instead, fatty.” Unhelpful things you’d never say to a person’s face (I hope).
Count me in as another woman who thinks turtlenecks under sweaters are late-80s-early-90s bad, but button-downs under sweaters are adorable.
Ok, so something besides squashing the moobs (and, yes… woot! word!)
my husband (who is very fond of his… he says that between he and I, he no longer has to oogle random women…) wears a t-shirt w/ a nicer button down over the top. yes, slightly mid-90s, but still… he looks good like that, and the open shirt lines draws more up and down eyes…
I wear tank tops (sometimes just wifebeaters, sometimes more strentchy Old Navy tanks) under everything and it definitely smooths out the look. I’d say buy some close-fitting tees or ‘beaters and learn to love what’s left of the moobs, cos nothing’s gonna hide them completely.
Phobe,
I have nothing in particular to add, fashion-wise. Except that button-down shirts (untucked) with jeans (and boots) are The Hawt. And perfectly casual and appropriate for weekend-wear.
But mostly I just wanted to chime in to say I am FIRMLY in the camp that says Allie and bossyboots have no business telling you what you should or should not do with your own body. I mean, I’m all in favor of exercise for the sake of exercise, but I don’t think you should be trying to exercise the moobs away. And I doubt it would work anyway. Your body is shaped the way it’s shaped, and exercise can’t really change that.
Love the moobs. Embrace the moobs. But, if you are uncomfortable with them, like Jem said, you might want to get your hormone levels checked out with your doc. (On the other hand — Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes! Variation is normal! You probably notice the moobs more than anyone else does!)
‘nother Sarah, had you not made that comment I would never have clicked the link. Thank you.
Knitwear of any description is clearly out. Phobe should go with a heavy-duty overshirt – corduroy, thick flannel, twill and so on – worn unbuttoned and untucked over a tee-shirt. The tee-shirts could be layered for extra warmth, with a pea-coat or leather jacket worn when it’s really cold.
Phobe, another thing to keep in mind: this is probably something that you notice way more than everyone else notices! Not to discourage you from finding a new wardrobe, in any way, because we should all dress in ways that flatter ourselves, but just to remind you that we tend to judge our appearance much more harshly than others do.
Some Vine petitioners do try the old, “And don’t bother telling me to do X because I tried that/don’t want to,” wanting to head off advice s/he thinks is inevitable and doesn’t want to hear.
I actually did not get that sense from this one; it seemed to me like the author was accepting that he’s not going to spend hours a week doing chest flies, so what other options does he have instead.
Either way, let’s stick to what we were actually asked about. Thanks.
Another vote that button down shirts does not have to equal dressy. Get some button downs that you don’t wear to the office, put a t-shirt under them, leave the top button or two undone (note: wearing the t-shirt is key to not seeming skeazy in this scenario), leave the shirt untucked, and wear some jeans. I love that look, along with the button down under the sweater. All very attractive.
If you want to go with different shirts all together, check out Under Armour’s compression shirts. While I’m not trying to compress my chest (except when running), they smooth out everything and in general, the lines of my clothes look better. Layering is your friend. Everyone’s friend actually.
And I get that you don’t want to go to the gym, and moobs are more to do with your personal body shape, but a friend of mine recently started doing the Perfect Push-ups (get ’em at Walgreens) and remarked that his moobs decreased with the very minimal amount of exercise that the program has (along with him saying he felt amazing and like a rockstar, even though he could only do 3 when he started). Not saying you need to try it, but another option if you did want to consider a workout in your own home.
Regardless, embrace your body. You’re going to be your own worst critic and most people don’t notice what we consider our own flaws to be. But please, whatever you do, don’t wear a turtleneck under a button down. Actually, don’t wear a turtleneck at all.
Oh, throw on a wifebeater under there — I mean not in a Seaside Heights, Jersey guido way, but just as something between a sweater/shirt & your skin.
They’re pretty clingy, they’re definitely not a man foundation garment (I mean, if you’re bothered by that sort of of thing), and they’re so cheap — which is good because they do tend to stretch out eventually and you have to trash them. I’m a girl & I love keeping a few of the teenage-boy-sized ones around for sleeping, for under itchy sweaters, or just as a light layer when it’s cold.
I’m a female with really really large boobs and have had similar problems with sweaters. I agree witthet-shirt underneathe and also even a short sleve polo underneath with just the collar that shows. Also, my best friend is the sweater that’s a size bigger than I actually need. It doesn’t look too baggy, but it also doesn’t snug up and put the boobage on parade either. Phobe might try a thicker cotton sweater or one in a larger size.
None of the guys I know with moobs see change with exercise, anyway.
Shape wear is an option, but let’s face it, it’s kinda uncomfortable to be wearing a super-tight spandex shirt all the time.
I would say layer a looser shirt (button-down or t) under the sweater, and TRY ON sweaters before you buy. There’s going to be some that cling more to th chest than others (I’m not saying go baggy! But there’s a variety of cuts out there and some will be more flattering than others). And I agree with PP that V-necks will have a slimming effect.
I’m a woman with boobs and all the people who recommend undershirts of some kind are absolutely right.
A basic thin layer can really smooth things out. They also keep your outer layers cleaner so they don’t have to be washed as much and last longer.
I have several kinds of undershirts in cotton, the special compression fabric that hides bra lines and back bulge and some silk. Some looking around at hanes.com and wintersilks.com might be helpful.
i have worked as a fashion/photo stylist, and sadly there are precious few options:
1). change your body via some form of exercise (firming is the key here not weight loss).
2). try on every sweater you right (and I men every one you see) and when you find one that de-emphasizes the moobs buy it every color and then keep buying that brand/style of sweater.
3). wear a foundational garmet….a t-shirt is not going to be enough…sorry to say. you need something lycra, tight as hell and probably from a man’s speciality store that offer foundational wear.
4). or, just take a breath and be free…moobs aren’t the worst thing in the world, or happening in the world. the minute you stop freaking out you will generally find that everyone else will (and chances are they never even noticed).
Totally agree with everyone that has suggested a button-down under. And a heavier knit, but be careful to find one that is till fitted around your newly trim waist.
Also, can I suggest a zip up polarfleece vest? A fitted one. Looks super hot, totally covers any unpleasantness.
My boyfriend is king of casual-but-not-frumpy, and he kind of rocks the moob as well… Here are some of the things he wears in the fall/winter- if you’re looking for more casual tops suggestions besides sweaters:
– jacket-style sweatshirt: you know, the type that are made with sweatshirt-type material, but they have a full zipper in the front? You can get some really stylish ones at various stores – ones that gear towards 20-early-30’s menswear. My boyfriend usually wears one of those over a T-shirt. Take a look under “Fleece” at the Abercrombie and Fitch site for an example. My boyfriend found a really nice one at Sears!
– hoodies: There are many styles of these out there in menswear that aren’t baggy and frumpy now. Of course, you’ll still wanna wear a Tee underneath.
– Fleece pullovers (http://tiny.cc/jUbyA for an example): they aren’t too fitted, so they don’t cling to your folds. I think you can get these in cotton blends as well.
– Rugby jerseys: Those are the anti-thesis of cling by virtue of the material, AND you can find some really decent-looking ones out there.
And as the readers here have already suggested, layer, layer, layer! I barely know a single guy who doesn’t.
Good luck!