Sars,

Here’s the problem.I’m a senior in high school. I’m also a social pariah, by choice — I’ve just never gone in for all that typical teen spirit crap, and that’s fine by the cheerleaders.Now, I have a friend who’s pretty much like me (call him “J”) in this respect, yet for some bizarre reason he wants to go to our senior prom, and, as J has a crush on me, he also wants me to go with him (“just as friends,” my sweet patootie, and everyone knows it).

Some thoughts:
1.That would require some serious violations of my anti-prom principles.But on the other hand…
2.There’s no shame in humoring a friend.But…
3.I wouldn’t enjoy myself at all.But then again…
4.I could also see it as a huge practical joke on the senior class. Omigawd, like, look who’s here?I, like, totally cannot, like, believe it! Yet…
5.J might take it as a sign that I have romantic feelings for him, which is not so. Yet…
6.I kind of do.

So?

Social Unbutterfly In Memphis

Dear Sars,

I am a happily married, 26-year-old mom of two; life is great, except…my oldest kiddo has autism.No, that’s not my problem.The problem is that I frequently have the urge to strangle total strangers…for the stupid things that they say about my kiddo’s behavior.She is autistic, as I said, and sometimes she melts down in public, and…well, acts like a little kid with autism, go figure.Luckily, she is profoundly deaf, so she never has to hear the stupid garbage people will say.But I am at a loss as to how I should handle these people.

Here’s an example.I was in line at the grocery store.I had run one too many errands, and to top it off, I had just told my daughter “no” to buying cookies.She started crying and shaking her head and generally melting into a puddle of her former self.While I was kneeling there, signing comforting things to her, the woman in front of me turned to my infant son and told him that his “sister doesn’t know how to act in public.” It was tempting to shoot back at her with, “Hey, she is autistic, what’s your excuse?” But I didn’t trust myself not to blow up at this woman, and plus I was still busy calming my daughter down.

On the one hand, I want my son to understand that he doesn’t need to let other people’s stupidity make him fly off the handle; on the other hand, I don’t want him to think that we let people trash our loved ones.What would you do? Ignore them or tear them a new one?

Thanks,
Protective Momo

PS: I am not talking about people who ask questions about my daughter’s disabilities; I am more than happy to answer them.The more people who understand, the better the world will be for my kiddo.