Dear Sars,

A couple of years ago, I was living with a couple of friends I’ll call
Bob and Betty.Bob and I were and are good friends, Betty and I grew
oddly less close after we started sharing a house.Our cohabitation
ended when Bob got a job about a thousand miles away.Bob and I have
kept in touch; he’s like the big brother I never had.All this is
background.

Bob is currently back in this city for his father’s funeral.His father
died suddenly, and Bob came back to help his mother through this period
and so on.I called Bob to see how he was doing, we talked, he’s coping
reasonably well with it all, we made plans to have lunch, et cetera.

What I’m not sure about is this.Betty and their baby son stayed at
Other Town where they live.I’ve only met Bob’s parents once.I’m not,
personally, bereaved by Bob’s father’s death; I’m sad for Bob, but…I
didn’t know the guy.

The thing is, should I ask Bob if he wants me to attend the funeral?
Should I phrase it as an offer?Should I just ask when it is with the
clear intention of showing up?I’m not sure.Like I said, I don’t feel
bereaved and don’t feel a need for closure, but Bob’s wife isn’t here to
be with him while Bob goes through the funeral.I want to support him
as best I can because I care about him, but I don’t really know whether
asking about the funeral of someone you weren’t yourself at all close to
is appropriate.

Etiquette For The Dead, Not My Specialty

Sars,

I just met a girl and I’m crazy about her, and I’d really like to ask her out. The problem is right now my financial situation is such that I can’t afford to take her out, not even if we go dutch. Fortunately, I just got a job (two actually), so when I get paid in a few weeks I will be able to afford it. My question is, should I just wait until then? My hesitation in waiting to ask her out is that she works at one of my jobs so I’d see her a fair bit in the mean time. I’m worried that if I continue to see her without making a move, she’ll assume I’m not interested or convince herself that any chemistry she picked up on was just in her imagination, and move on, filing me in the “just friends” folder. Further compounding the issue is that I’m not a very good flirt, so I wouldn’t even begin to know how to send out subtle signals of interest in the meantime. Plus, I just plain don’t want to wait the two or three weeks. I really like her, and I’d like to spend time with her just for its own sake.

Still, for the time being it would be irresponsibly indulgent of me to drop even a couple bucks on a cup of coffee, when I need it for the bus to work or for food. It seems then that my options are these: 1. Wait until I can afford to take her out to ask her out; 2. ask her out now, but for a more affordable activity; 3. ask her out now, and have her pick up the tab; or 4. borrow money from a friend. Unfortunately, because I’m already borrowing pretty heavily from friends and family just to make it to payday, I can’t really ask anyone for a loan. And Option 3 just seems lame and severely second-date-chance-reducing. So what do you suggest? Is there a way to ask a girl out and not spend money that isn’t lame? How viable is Option 1? Any insight you have would be helpful.

Signed,
Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes

Sars,

Okay, here’s a new song, but I’m sure someone out there knows the words I’m looking for: “I have an area rug problem.” I told you it was novel! Ahem. This is what my life has come to. First, there’s background.

The area rug in question is the only bit of carpeting in my entire house; from end to end, the flooring is either hardwood or linoleum, save the rug under the dining room table. I bought the rug because the chairs at said table scratch the hardwood, and the chair legs would be difficult to cover with individual little “chair socks” or bits of felt or what have you.

My problem is two-fold: First, I despise sweeping, so to clean the floors of dirt and dust, I vacuum. I have a decent little canister vacuum that does a lovely job on all my floors, without ever leaving a scratch. The vacuum does not, however, seem to have the necessary suction to clean the area rug. Tiny crumbs, lint molecules, and bits of thread stay firmly velcroed to the rug as though the vacuum never passed anywhere near them. I pass over each part of the rug several times, with force and conviction, but to no avail.

Second, in addition to being perpetually dirty, part of the rug sticks out from under the table and is in a high traffic area and therefore gets trampled on a fair bit. The result is that one half looks new and shiny, while the other half appears beaten down and sad.

And now the question, also in two parts:
1 – Short of buying an entirely new vacuum or pitching the rug, is there a way to get the stupid thing clean? I’m not looking for it to be spotless or sanitized or anything, but I’d like it to look somewhat decent.
2 – Is there a way to fluff up the part of the rug that gets walked all over?

Thanks,
Never thought I’d be so frustrated by carpeting