Dear Chap,

I don’t think it’s hostile or childish to wear the jewelry unless your intent in doing so is a hostile and/or childish one — you want to cause him discomfort or mark your territory in some way. Deliberately provocative, in other words — and if you’re hauling a necklace out of the back of your closet for the express purpose of seeing him squirm, yes, I would characterize that as in bad taste.

Do you wear the jewelry every day, or as a matter of regular course? Do you believe that he won’t even notice it, or that if he does, that it won’t bother him or cause any awkwardness? Then I think it’s okay. But if you have any reason to suspect that wearing that particular jewelry will provoke a negative reaction, or will be seen as hostile even if it isn’t, it’s best to leave it on the dresser for one evening.

The idea behind good manners or proper “breeding,” in the end, is — or should be — to put people at ease. Behaving in a way contrary to that is what leads to problems. Ask yourself the jewelry question from that angle; the answer should reveal itself.

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