The Vine: May 24, 2000
Dear Sarah,
I wouldn’t have written, except that I read your advice to that guy Dr. Strangelove. I wouldn’t presume to tell you your business, so I’m not, but I thought I might let you in on some inside info. I’m 19 and I’ve had three girlfriends. I’m a nice guy I think, but the reason I got dates was because I ran with a bad crowd and got the stigma that came attached to it. They stuck around when they realized I wasn’t a jerk, but I always wondered if the reason we dated in the first place wasn’t because they had that bad-boy mentality. To make use of an outdated cliché, good guys always finish last, especially when it comes to women. Not that being a bad boy is hitting women, cheating on them or treating them like shit, but in real life, suckers like Dawson and Ross never get the girl, they get stripped naked and left in the girls’ bathroom the first day of school. Well, that being said I’m going to get off my soapbox and go home.
A dissenting voice
Dear Dis,
Point taken, but as I told Dr. Strangelove, most women grow out of that crap. Write to me in five years; I think you’ll find the landscape has changed by then.
PS: Dawson is a git and doesn’t deserve the girl anyway, and most women will also grow out of his emotional blackmailing bullshit.
Tags: boys (and girls)