The Vine: May 7, 2001
You may want to have C-toony check to see if the city s/he lives in has a creative directory. For a fee, you can place an ad containing your work into a large, indexed publication that goes out to companies that routinely purchase creative services. Most agencies don’t keep illustrators on staff, as different styles are routinely needed for different projects. So we use the directories to check out styles we’re interested in. It may not be a syndicated strip in a large daily paper, but you’d be surprised at the amount of freelance illustration work you can get out of one of those ads. The only downside is that they tend to be kind of expensive, but hey, it takes money to make money, right? And it keeps you from having to flip burgers or wait tables while you’re waiting for your big break…
D-signy
Dear D,
Excellent advice.Thanks for the tip.
I am having problems with one of my friends, who also happens to be my boss. We use to get along great; we’d sit and talk about all sorts of things. I felt like I could tell her anything and generally felt really comfortable with her. Then one day last year she tells me she feels like I am trying to take her job away from her. Naturally I was shocked because I would never do that to her; I mean I saw her as my best friend, and I would never take her job from her unless she did not want it anymore. I felt really bad about the situation and kept apologizing for making her feel this way, but this only made things worse — she said I would not let it go, that I was bringing up the past. Eventually we got to a point where things were better, but she was not the same in her dealing with me; she would talk to me, but it was not the same.
About a week ago she got furious about something else work-related and since then work has been hell. She keeps saying I am bringing up the past and that i am nitpicking everything she says, which just makes me furious. What is your advice on employee-manager friendships? Do they work? What could I do to maybe smooth things over with her?
Captain D’s
Dear Captain,
It’s difficult sometimes to work with, or for, or under, your friends.You have certain expectations from the friendship, and when personal gets tangled up with business, a lot of people can’t separate the two.
It sounds like that’s the case here — you can’t let the subject drop, and she’s just getting more and more bent out of shape.She’s your boss, and she wants you to leave it alone, so leave it alone and concentrate on your work…and on looking for another job.The situation obviously isn’t going to repair itself, and given that she’s all paranoid about your gunning for her, you’d better get out now before she does something you’ll both regret.
Hi Sars,
I really enjoy TomatoNation.com, expecially “The Vine.” I don’t normally ask complete strangers for advice, but I don’t have anyone really objective to talk to about this, so here goes:
I’m writing to you because I feel like I’m at a turning point in my life. I’m in my mid-twenties, as is my husband. I am decently paid and reasonably content with my job. My husband and I have both lived in SoCal all of our lives and Rob seems content to stay here the rest of his life. I’m not a seasoned traveler, but I have seen quite a bit of the United States, and I know that there are other places that might be better suited to us. Rob hates apartment living (loud neighbors, rent raises, et cetera) and wants to buy a house very soon. I argue that you can’t really know where you want to settle down unless you’ve tried living someplace else. It’s like marrying the first person you date. I hate apartment living too and want a house, but not quite yet.
Recently, two things have happened:
1) I have had the urge to go to school. I found a program at a school where I would be finished with my degree in about two and a half years. The downside is that it is a weekend program, and I wouldn’t see much of Rob while I was in school.
2) Rob has been unhappy in his job. Everyone in his office has been laid off except him and two other people he doesn’t like. Rob has no chance of losing his job, but he just hates the vibe in his office. He also doesn’t have his degree and feels like he doesn’t have enough marketable skills to make a decent living if he tried to get another job. (His field is rather specialized.)
As a result, I’ve brought up the idea of doing a little traveling this summer and seeing about moving to someplace out of state. He seems open to this, but here’s my problem. I feel like I’m taking unfair advantage of the fact that he’s unhappy at work. Also, if we move, that would eat up all of our savings, and so we would have no possibility of buying a house or going to school in the near future. Also, we would be moving away from all of our family.
So which should it be? Get the wanderlust out of my system, enhance my career by going to school, or embrace my domestic longings by buying a house? I’m not expecting you to make my decision for me, but I would certainly like some input.
Sincerely,
Jane
Dear Jane,
Thanks for the kind words!
As to your dilemma — well, you have to talk to your husband about everything that’s going through your mind so that he can share in the decision as fully as possible.The two of you should set aside an entire evening sometime soon, sit at the kitchen table, and make pros-and-cons lists of all your options.Write everything down, every detail and scenario you can think of.Speak honestly to each other about what you want to do first; put your choices in order of preference; do some preliminary budgeting.Devise a five-year plan; devise five different five-year plans.
With everything written down, you can start thinking about what the decisions mean.For example, let’s say that, out of the three options, he’d most like to buy a house in the SoCal area, but that’s only second on your list.So, you’ll consider doing the house thing first — compromise is the soul of marriage, blah blah blah.Figure out how long you’d have to save for a house in your price range, and how long you’d have to save after that to afford going back to school.Or maybe you both want to go back to school — a big budgetary outlay, but with more degrees, you might both make more money, so you could buy a bigger house if you can see your way clear to waiting three or four years.
Talk to each other.Spend a week, two weeks, a month talking, thinking things over, making notes, doing research.Be honest about what you want, but be open to what the other person wants.That’s the way to make an informed decision you can both live with.
Tags: boys (and girls) friendships workplace
