The Vine: May 8, 2001
Dear Sars,
I live in a co-ed dormitory and have developed a crush on a guy who lives on my floor.We started hanging out on Superbowl Sunday and didn’t leave each other’s presence for more than fourteen hours (excluding bathroom breaks and whatnot).Since then, we’ve been nearly inseperable.
His girlfriend is in Australia, for the semester, I think.I found out recently from him that she called from Australia and said that they should date other people.
He gives me foot massages when I ask nicely, and when we stay up all night together and he tells me to take a nap (in his room), he reads to me until I fall asleep and then brings me coffee in bed three hours later.(With sugar, which is something he doesn’t use.)
So am I right in thinking this guy digs me?Should I make a move?What on earth kind of move should be made?Help!
A Little Confused
Dear Little,
Oh, he digs you, all right.He’s pulling out all the stops and acting totally cute.
If he didn’t have the whole Australia/girlfriend axis working, I’d tell you to make a move, but before you do, you should clarify that he’s not waiting for her to get back, or waiting for you to do something so that he won’t feel guilty.
Talk to him.Worst case, he’s not really interested, you get it out in the open, you cringe like a madwoman for about a week, and then you two go back to just hanging out.
Hi Sars,
It’s SUCH a long story, so let me reduce it to its elements for you: he and I knew each other for five years as friends.We slept together.It rocked.He vanished.The hell?
Mystified
Dear Myst,
You’ve got me, dude.I’ve never understood why men do that shit, especially when they’ve slept with women they call “friends.”Reeeeally makes you wonder what the “friendship” meant, eh what?
One of five things is happening here: 1) he really likes you and can’t deal; 2) he really doesn’t like you that way after all and can’t deal; 3) he doesn’t know what he feels and…sensing a theme here?…can’t deal; 4) he went out of town on business; 5) he died.
Give him a casual call and try to find out what’s up with him.If he’s noncommittal, or dodges the call, or, you know, died, well, then you’ll know.But you can’t force a man to get his shit together.
Tags: boys (and girls)
