I have a friend that I’ve known for about five years. I had always considered her one of my best friends.

About eight months ago, there was an incident involving my friend (we’ll call her “Jane”), one of her friends (we’ll call her “Lola”), and myself. I feel that I did everything I could to avoid this situation, but I acknowledge the part I had. This incident got Lola charged with a relatively minor offence. (It sounds worse than it is…)

Jane didn’t call or talk to me for five days after this incident. I eventually called her and told her how guilty I’d felt, and how sorry I was. I wasn’t expecting redemption, but neither did I intend to take the blame for something that really wasn’t my fault. The conversation went badly, and aside from me crying and telling her how I felt, there was no talk of the incident. Shortly thereafter, I left for school. I was waiting for Jane to make the next move, and she didn’t. I e-mailed her about three weeks after the incident, and never heard back. I found out later that there were extenuating circumstances preventing her from e-mailing me back. Last I check, she still had a phone, though.

Over the last eight months, I have bumped into Jane a few times at home, and she acts like nothing has happened. We have talked twice on the phone, the first time at my initiation. The fact that we hadn’t spoken in a number of months wasn’t mentioned. Neither was the incident. She has also called me once, and again there was no mention. The times we have spoken, I found her to be somewhat self-absorbed. I am hurt that I was dumped as a friend for Lola, a girl Jane had known for only two months. They’re apparently the best of friends now.

While I’d resigned myself to the end of our friendship, a few weeks ago Jane left a message on my machine wishing me a belated birthday. Two weeks off, but it’s the thought that counts. In my head, I had already solved the problem of calling her for her birthday (a few weeks after mine), as she hadn’t called me.

The two-weeks’-past mark is now approaching on her birthday, and I have felt somewhat guilty for not calling. To be honest, I don’t think I want to be her friend anymore. I’m very hurt over what happened and she’s obviously not the person I thought she was. But I know her birthday is very special to her. So my question, oh Great Oracle, is this: should I break down and call her to wish her a happy birthday, or should I just continue to ignore it and duck when I see her?

Thanks for your divine wisdom,
Birthday Bitch