Dear Sars,

I’m in Indiana, so I feel dicked every which way I look.And when I woke up at 12:30 last night and checked the returns and saw that Ohio was going to Bush I cried my eyes out.My poor boyfriend tried to convince me that it wasn’t over, but it was and I knew it and I told him, “I just don’t ever want to vote or care again, because there’s no fucking point.”

And then I woke up this morning and the world hadn’t stopped.And I was still upset and depressed about another four years of this administration (not to mention scared).But then I remembered something: We’re this guy’s boss.All of us.It’s our responsibility to dog his ass for the next four years, and dog the asses of every person that got elected or re-elected yesterday.These are OUR public servants, and dammit, if they’re not going to get it done, I will.This is my country and no Texas yahoo can take that from me.

So I’m going to cry some more, and drink some more and sleep and eat chocolate for a few days, and then I’m going to bust out my West Wing DVDs from back when the show was still inspiring, and I’m going to get my liberal ass fired back up and make the world a better place as best I can.I’m writing letters to Kerry and Bush, and you know what?I’m not shutting up and I’m not packing up because the system still works, dammit.

Thanks for the good word, Sars.There’s a lot of us that need it, and I just felt like letting you know that you’re helping.Hell, it’s only four years, right?We lived through high school, we can get through this shit, too.

Resolutely Blue in a Red State

Dear Blue,

I’m glad I’m helping.

Everyone should keep in mind that it’s okay to feel disheartened and enraged and paralyzed by fury…and it’s also okay to want to roll over and face the wall, or to prefer watching MTV 2 to poring over the news feed.You have to live your life.But if you don’t think you can make a difference, step over to the contest page.To take a page from Good Will Hunting — do you like apples?We funded 23 projects in two weeks, just through the official contest, a good half-dozen others when people felt strongly about other proposals, and nine yesterday alone.How about them apples?

We all do what we can.

Dear Sars:

The idea that Bush’s reelection seems to indicate support for a
constitutional amendment banning gay marriages is, to me, one of the most
alarming and distressing aspects of this election. Perhaps you aren’t the
right person for me to be writing to about this, because you and, I suspect,
the majority of your readership share my opinion about this, but I was
wondering why do so many people oppose gay marriage?I am heterosexual and
married, and I absolutely cannot believe that eleven(!) states voted for
measures banning gay marriages. Does it cause anybody any harm in any way if
two consenting adults — regardless of their gender — want to make their
choice to spend the rest of their lives together official?The fact that so
many people care about something that really shouldn’t concern them is
something I really can’t understand.

Of course, I realize that many people oppose gay marriage for religious
reasons, but whatever happened to the separation of church and state?
Doesn’t banning something based purely on religious grounds completely fly
in the face of that?The one semi-secular argument I’ve heard over and over
again supporting the idea that “marriage is between a man and a woman” is
that allowing gays to marry puts society on a slippery slope toward allowing
people to marry their brother or their dog or whatever.This, I think, is
patently ridiculous, although, if it came to that, I feel the line of
reasoning of “why should you care if it’s not harming you?” still holds.
But if they want to put up this “slippery slope” claim, I would argue that
banning gay marriages puts us on a slippery slope of defining marriage even
more narrowly.What happens then if someone decides that marriage should
only be between a man and a woman who are of the same race?Well, that
would invalidate my marriage.

So I guess I’m wondering, what are your thoughts on why this is such a
hot-button issue for so many people?I’ve always naively considered the US
to be a “live and let live” society, and the prospect that such blatant
bigotry could actually be amended to our constitution sickens me.Aside
from voting against such an amendment and writing to our state
representatives, what else can we do to fight this?

JT

Dear JT,

I really do not have the first idea why anyone would give a tinker’s damn what gay couples do — or what anyone else does, really — if it’s not infringing on anyone else’s happiness.The idea that allowing same-sex couples the right to the legal protections offered by marriage somehow devalues the institution is utterly incomprehensible to me.If anything, it pulls marriage farther away from its medieval roots as a business arrangement and makes it more valuable and more of a strictly spiritual alliance.And if you want to string someone up for devaluing the institution, maybe you ought to start with Zsa Zsa Gabor and Billy Bob Thornton.I mean, for fuck’s sake.

I think it comes from a place of ignorance.It has to; I can’t find any other explanation for that kind of bigotry.It’s not an excuse, but I guess it’s the reason.I don’t know anyone personally who is against gay marriage, so I really couldn’t tell you what goes through the minds of its opponents or why they don’t have anything better to do with their time than fighting for the codification of discrimination.

I am not a lawyer or a constitutional scholar, so you should take this with a fistful of salt, but from what I’ve heard, the gay-marriage ban has no chance.Once the ACLU elbows its way into the fray and starts filing lawsuits charging that these bans violate equal protection, which they do, the court system is going to have to rule that the bans are unconstitutional — thereby codifying it in the other direction, as legal.Maybe I’ve just chosen to believe this because it sounds good and fair and I want it to turn out that way, so if anyone wants to correct me, please do.By which I mean “man, I hope you don’t, because guh.”

But until we start seeing challenges in the courts, keep your eyes and ears open.Read the news; see where the legislators are as far as putting anything in motion, and right to your local, state, and federal reps telling them that acting on the ban is unacceptable to you.

Hey Sars,

For V. who was looking for resources on the Pledge issue, I heartily
recommend Americans United for Separation of Church and State. They’ve been, for me at least, a voice of reason
when debates on the issue usually only echo the rhetoric of Dick
Lugar. They also have a solid resources section on the site with links
to local chapters.

Thanks,
H

Dear H,

Thanks for the recommendation.

Sars —

I just read V.E.’s question about writing your Congressman, and I hope I can shed some light on the issue.I used to be the scheduler and staff assistant for a Congressman from North Carolina so I was actually the person on the other end of the line.

First thing first. These offices get an enormous volume of mail a day.Think about it like this. V.E. contacted a Senator’s office.Their constituency is the entire state. Depending on what state it is, several million people can be their constituency.Therefore, there are many, many, many people who feel the same way she does about the issue, along with many other issues.Issues that are as varied as say, Social Security Benefits for Veterans or the Aliens Who Listen In On Their Thoughts (think I’m kidding?Not a chance.We always had to call the county health office to go check on those people after they called).I fielded up to a hundred calls a day, and I always listened patiently.However, I was also in a Representative’s office and not a Senator’s.It is impossible for them to write a personalized letter to each and every one of those people who write.Reps and Senator’s offices file every piece of correspondence that enters the office, and I think that when I left the guy I worked for we had filed over 300,000 pieces of mail.

Also, the office I worked in had about nine employees.They handled questions from the approximate 650,000 people in the district.They work very hard, and care very much about your opinion and, when enough people call and write letters about a certain issue, they listen and present the information to the legislator. Not all at once, because you just can’t be lugging three filing cabinets into a Rep’s office, but compiled.I swear, I’ve seen it happen.One of the biggest secrets about national government is that underpaid 26-year-olds write the legislation.Not the person that got elected.However, if that isn’t immediate enough for her, maybe she should volunteer.Or protest somewhere.Although, I just have to say, the ACLU is most likely already doing some pretty fierce lobbying about this right now, among other things.They’re pretty persistent if I remember correctly.

Thanks,
K.S.

Dear K.,

Legislators are really busy.I remember the section in P.J. O’Rourke’s Parliament of Whores — still a really great read 15 years later — where he’s talking about following a Congressman around for the day and how he’s exhausted at the end.I’m not saying the reps don’t give a shit, or don’t work hard, but V. got the same form letter like three times, and all three times it failed to have anything to do with what she’d written.I mean: “I don’t like this.””Thanks for writing to say you like this!”That happens once, okay, it’s an administrative oversight.Twice, three times?Either his aides aren’t paying attention or he himself doesn’t want to hear it from the opposition.

I’m inclined to believe it’s the latter.Government is actually a pretty thankless job, especially for the unelected, and you’ve got a handful of people doing jobs a corporation would hire a hundred for.Still.Try to do the job properly.Print up another version of the form letter.It takes ten minutes to draft and send to file.

Hey Sars,

Pack Rat might also want to try www.booksforsoldiers.com quite a few of those guys are looking for any new reading material they can get.There are a few guidelines (no pornography, for example) but it’s relatively straightforward, all the shipping information et cetera can be found on the website.

Sincerely,
A Book Lover

Dear Lover,

Now that’s supporting the troops.I can’t wait to check that out myself.

[11/9/04]

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