Dear Sarah,

Okay, I have this friend.This female friend.To her, we’re like the epitome of best friends, and she claims that I’m closer to her than anyone.I’m like, okay whatever, because I don’t really care.She says that people should be jealous of us, because we have such a tight male/female relationship that most real couples don’t have.But lately, she’s been treating me like her boyfriend.Always up in my grill, always trying to hold hands with me or have some form of contact with me, and if I don’t want to be around her, she takes it personally.

I also am coping with depression right now, and it’s mainly chemical.So once I go stoic, she blames herself.I’ve tried explaining it to her that it has nothing to do with her, but she seems to believe that my world revolves around her.

I know that she’s not interested in me, because she’s always out with some other guy(s).She also knows that I’ve questioned my sexuality, and she isn’t exactly what I might be looking for.

Anyway, how do I…break up with her (?), or at least find a way to redefine our boundaries without making myself look like a cold harpy?

Jack and Jen to Joey and Dawson

Dear Jack,

Tell her what you’ve just written to me — you care for her as a friend, but when she gets into your kitchen the way she has lately, it makes you uncomfortable, and when she starts in on you about your “going stoic,” that makes you uncomfortable too.Stress that, while you don’t want to hurt her feelings, she needs to back it up.

She may decide to make it All About Her…in which case you should probably walk away from the friendship.It’s a lot of aggro from a woman you don’t particularly seem to value as a close friend.

[10/17/00]

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