Dear Sars,

A couple of things:

1. As a Red Sox fan, I can say honestly that I know how it feels right now.All I know is that if the Yankees weren’t such a good team, beating them wouldn’t mean so much.

2. Some friends of mine and I have decided that A-Rod (and his purple lip gloss) should be the GBC MVP. Please just make sure he has a big basket on the front of his bike so that Jeter can ride comfortably on the handlebars.

Deepest sympathies,
One of the many Mrs. Schillings

Dear Tell Your Man To Shut It With The Thanking God,

I appreciate that — and congratulations.The better team won this series, a result I more or less predicted (though not in this seesaw fashion) and with which, from a baseball-justice standpoint, I’m satisfied.Well done on both sides.

And thanks to everyone else who wrote in to console me.It sucks, but like I said, it’s not unexpected.Winning 101 games with a pitching staff that couldn’t get the Methodists in my hometown softball league out half the time?That was unexpected.Losing to Boston?Just happened a little later than I thought it would back in April.

I did get a couple of “ah HA HA HA HA HA HA, looks gooooooooood on ya” emails, though, which…this is what I was talking about with the double standard.If the Yanks had won and I’d emailed a Red Sox fan and invited her to kiss my ass, I’d get strung up.Physically strung up.With string.But because I’m a Yankee fan, it’s okay to gloat in my face, apparently.I’ve taken pains to give credit where it’s due, around here and elsewhere, but I guess that’s not good enough.

Anyway…A-Rod.Weird couple of days for him, and by “weird” I mean “rude.”(And by “days” I mean “lips.”What is going on there?Just say no to Xtreme Razzleberry lollipops, Alex!)The ball-slapping incident (…hee) was bad judgment on his part; I think he really thought he was just playing hard and doing whatever he could to win, and if he just had a momentary lapse of reason out there and flailed at Arroyo kind of out of frustration, well, we’re none of us perfect.The line was pretty crowded as he was headed for first, and you could conceivably argue that he was just trying to make some room.I wouldn’t, myself, but you could argue that.

But what bugs me is that the argument over the play and the ensuing umpire consultation wasted time and drained momentum, and I wish he’d just stood there quietly, waited for the umpires to decide, accepted the decision quickly and without arguing, and let the team get on with business afterward.It’s not the play itself I’m down on him for; it’s that everyone got mired in dealing with it for however long, and the Yankees didn’t get the call reinstated (and shouldn’t have), and when the dust settled, everyone’s timing was thrown off and the Yankees couldn’t put anything else together.

It’s a frustrating situation, and it’s a good thing we don’t have Milton Bradley wearing #13, but still.It did seem kind of like Rodriguez expected to get that call because he’s Rodriguez and he’s in a Yankee uniform, which…is no good.And the glaring last night is also poor form.It’s a tough loss, but…dude, just get out of the dugout, then.Stop trying to kill them with your eyes and go get changed.

On a converse note, I’d like to say that this is one of the reasons Johnny Damon is so rad.He would never do that “now you will BURST INTO FLAMES” shit.He plays very hard (see: wrecking himself during the playoffs last year), he respects the game, and he gives props to opposing players — on the field, even.I don’t love making athletes into examples for kids, but if we’re going to do it as a culture, let’s use Damon.There are players on that team that I would kick in the shins, I won’t lie to you, but Damon is a pleasure to watch, and I’d have said so even if his bat didn’t wake up last night to deadly effect.

It’s going to be an excellent Series.I will be watching it even though it’s Yankee-free.Keep those letters coming.

Dear Sars:

I really appreciate your website, and I love your cut-the-crap approach. My question involves baseball (sort of) and that squishy area of personal integrity.

I am a Red Sox fan. I was born in New England, so it’s in my blood. I dislike the Yankees, but I do not chant “Yankees suck” and I don’t buy the t-shirts that lewdly proclaim the sexual proclivities of certain pinstriped players. My good friend is a Yankees fan. She grew up in NYC, so there you go. Some good-natured ribbing goes on in September-October, but otherwise that’s the extent of it. She is currently dating a guy who grew up in the middle of Boston, but readily admits to having stopped being a rabid Red Sox fan a few years back and becoming a Yankees fan due to the lack of pennant winning and such. He is otherwise a stellar guy and treats her very well.

My question is, what do you think of people who undergo such a “conversion”? Does this seem to smack of a character issue? A poor sense of loyalty? I thought only a Yankees fan could appreciate my confusion.

A

Dear A,

If he switched sides because he lives in New York and didn’t want to get killed in sports bars, then I could live with it.As I’ve said before, I was raised in a Mets household, and I switched sides in the early ’90s, when the Mets sucked…but the Yankees were no great shakes back then either, and more to the point, I had to switch if I wanted to watch any baseball because the TV rooms I frequented on campus were controlled by Yankee fans.It was kind of an accident.

But it wasn’t about the winning, or I’d have jumped the minute the Mets traded for Juan Samuel, because MY GOD.I don’t think it’s a sign of weak character to change your allegiance on that basis, necessarily; I just don’t get it.Half the fun of baseball is that the team you know is the team you know, and even if they’re awful, they’re yours, and you stick with them.

Also, the Red Sox aren’t even bad lately.Heartbreaking, sure, but it’s usually a contending team.If he’d given up on the ’80s Pirates, okay, but…

Sars,

This here baseball fan is a Cubs fan.Will cheer for my boys in blue
until The Day I Die, knowing full well I may never have a reason to
celebrate.That said, I HATE THE SUX.HATE THEM.HATE WHITE SUX AND
ALWAYS WILL.

As a Yankee fan, do you hate the Mets?(I know you hate the Red Sox,
good fan that you are.) I have a friend who is a Cubs fan, but will
also cheer for the Sux, and I berate him for this regularly.I feel
right in hating the Sux and he says if the jersey says “Chicago” he
can’t cheer against them.I say not so.What say ye, wise Sars?

Looking forward to your answer.

Girl Who Perpetually Believes in “Next Year”

Dear Next,

See above.I grew up with the Mets.I don’t follow the team very closely anymore, but I watch the games from time to time and I certainly don’t bear them any ill will.(I don’t really hate the Red Sox either.I could do without Varitek, and Schilling, but I don’t actually loathe the team.Wow, I just realized…I tend to hate Red Sox catchers.I despised Rich Gedman back in the day.No idea why.Anyway.)I don’t think that’s customary in New York, though.Met fans tend to haaaaaate the Yankees; Yankee fans tend to turn up their noses at the Mets.

I think your friend shares a similar philosophy to my mother’s when rooting for baseball teams, to wit: if the Mets aren’t in the postseason, root for the NL team.It’s the “love the one you’re with” approach, and I think it’s fine.The important thing isn’t the team; the important thing is the game.

The league championships were best of five. I remember distinctly because back in the day when the Orioles didn’t suck and actually played in the legaue championship series, it was best of five and I cared enough to watch them.When they added that crazy second/third level of playoffs because of there being so many more divisions, they upped the league championship series to best of seven.I might now be a football fan and not a baseball fan (really, the season is way too long, even when the Orioles don’t suck.What do they think it is — basketball?I can’t keep track of that many games and still care. Basketball is also far too long and don’t get me started on hockey either — the point of playoffs is not so that half the league gets to think it can go to the championship game) but I do remember when the World Series was over before Halloween.

Baltimore fan (sad right now but still hopeful for next year…or next decade)

And PS — Mussina rocks, I don’t care what you Yankees fans think.I hate the Yankees but he will always have a special place in my heart so I cheer for him despite the uniform.

Dear Balt,

I think the seven-game LCSes started in ’85 or ’86.I seem to remember the ’86 NLCS: Mets v. The Voluptuous Horror of Mike Scott’s Scuffball going six, but if I’m wrong, no doubt I will be corrected.

On Baltimore sucking: The team was, I believe, supposed to do better than it did this year.Then again, so was Toronto, and…pee-yew.No idea what happened there, but the Os beat up on us a few times; I think once Maz gets his feet under him, the Orioles will contend seriously.Of course, that’s if the Yankee freefall into overpaid mediocrity that I’ve been predicting for four years finally happens in ’05.

And I’m with you on Moose.

First, my condolences on the loss.Maybe the only thing worse than
being a Yankee fan when they’re winning is being one when they’ve
lost — then everyone thinks they can taunt you.

Anyway, all the baseball hilarity makes me want to ask you the question
that everyone’s talking about around here — Washington, DC.We have a
team.We do not have a name.Some people want the Senators, but some
people don’t like that because Washington HAS no Senators.Some people
want the Grays, but some people aren’t too keen about the association
with segregation (the Grays were the Negro League team).People are
throwing around all kinds of ideas: Monuments, Lobbyists, Beltways, Fat
Cats.So…what do you think?What should the team be named?

Thanks,
Go…you guys!

Dear Go,

As much as I love the old Senators’ motto — “first in the nation, first in our hearts, dead last in the American League” — past attempts to revive that franchise have met with sadness.Because that franchise, with the exception of Walter Johnson, almost always sucked.So, it’s time to move on and pick a name that doesn’t have any governmental associations.

I’d say, just keep calling the team the Expos.The Braves stayed the Braves through a several-city tour, and it’s working for them.Same with the As.That, or call them “the Exes,” because ha ha, or “the Xs,” so the press can go crazy with headlines featuring X-Men and “X-rated” and whatnot.

But don’t name them the Constitutions or anything like that.We know what goes on in DC, we don’t need the baseball team to remind us that it’s the capital.(We can use the hockey team for that.Heh.Oh, wait…)

[10/21/04]

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