Sars,

I used to work for a jewelry company and helped several customers remove
rings that they decided they didn’t want to buy — after trying them on and
finding themselves unable to get them off. Here are two tricks that worked
for me:

One method I’ve used several times with success is to take a piece of string
and wind it very snugly around the finger in question in an attempt to force
the blood up towards the fingertip. Start winding as close to the ring as
you can, and work towards the nail. It shouldn’t take too long. Of course,
you don’t want to do this for hours, but it is often effective and works
pretty fast.

The other is to use lotion or oil to loosen the ring. Use a LOT — just
slather the area around the ring and keep trying to turn and twist it off.
Having a friend with non-slick hands to help is useful here, too. Most
unscented hand lotions like Lubriderm or Vaseline Intensive Care will not
harm jewelry, but in any case, wash it off after removing the ring.

Always Disinfect Pierced Earrings Before Wearing Them, Some People Actually
Try Them On In Stores!

Dear …Ew!,

Thanks for the suggestions.Many other readers mentioned the string trick, and some advised using dental floss or ribbon; there’s evidently a whole entry on this on WebMD.com with detailed instructions.Other ideas appear below, and if I got them more than once, they’re asterisked.

Windex*
Olive or vegetable oil*
Butter*
Peanut butter
Crisco
Raise arms above head for awhile to drain them of blood*
Hydrate well to reduce bloating*
Take a Tylenol, wait 15-20 minutes, then try
Preparation H*
Spend some time in a cold room*
Astroglide*
Put the end of the finger in your mouth up to the knuckle and suck really hard while twisting the ring [jeez, these are getting kinda kinky]
Visit a professional jeweler; if she has to cut the ring off, she can do it in a way that’s not noticeable*
Take a strong diuretic [maybe for the non-pregnant in the crowd; your call]
Cut salt out of your diet for a few days*
Use your teeth
Vaseline
WD-40
Pam cooking spray
Try to work the ring off early in the day, when you tend to be less puffy*

Dear Sars,

I’ve been browsing Wikipedia’s linguistics pages, flipping through my
Garner, and Googling away for half an hour now, and I can’t find the answer
to this question: What do you call the verb form involving the word “do”
that, for example, flight attendants and customer service reps tend to use a
lot? You know, “We do require that you fasten your seatbelt.””I do see
that you’ve been overdrawn four times this billing cycle.”What is that?
I thought it was called the emphatic voice or the emphatic mood or
something, but I can’t confirm this.

I do appreciate your attention to this,
Daisy

Dear Give Me Your Answer Do,

It’s not entirely clear from the Wikipedia entry I drummed up which term we should use here — “emphatic verb” or “dummy verb” — but I think that, generally, this kind of extra or auxiliary word in the verb phrase constitutes an emphatic verb, while the word itself which is used is the dummy.

In the sentence “We do require that you fasten your seatbelt,” then, “do require” is the emphatic form of the verb “to require”; “do” is a dummy verb that makes it emphatic.

It seems almost too easy that this is the answer but it sounds right so let’s go with it.

Quick etiquette question: In the office building where I work, I have noticed that several women don’t use soap to wash their hands after using the toilet — they just run water over their fingers and dry their hands.Would it be totally weird for me to say something to them about not using soap?I mean — ew!Or should I keep my trap shut (I don’t work with these women) and just keep using paper towels to open the bathroom door?I guess, would my saying something actually accomplish anything?Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Grossed Out and EW!

Dear Gross,

I saw The Pointless Rinse in a bathroom last night, and I’m not a big germophobe or anything, but I feel you.I don’t understand the point of it; it’s not like it saves time, because you still have to dry your hands, so why not just use soap?Germs don’t rinse off, hello.

If you do see women doing this, you might say in a regretful just-my-luck kind of tone, “Oh, man — is the dispenser out of soap again?”You know, bring their attention to the fact that you saw them not using soap, but pretend that it’s because you think there is no soap.

The problem, of course, is that this will only shame them into using soap if you are present; you can’t spend the day in the ladies’, policing this.So, do it when you can, but if you’re pretty sure it’s going on when you’re not there, buy a box of disinfecting towelettes and keep them at your desk.

[10/31/06]

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