The Vine: September 6, 2000
Dear Sarah,I once had a friend who was very dear to me…I will call her E. The three of us (including my younger sister) have stayed best friends for over ten years even though she moved to Georgia a few years ago. My mom and her mom were also the best of friends and our families were very close.
A few months ago, E came to visit me for winter break and all three of us were united again…just like the good ol’ times. Everything was going great and we had so much fun. However, my (spoiled) younger sister, who was unhappy with her life at the time, conjured up a plan to run away with the help of E.
She had asked (or threatened, I don’t really know) E to buy her a plane ticket to return to Georgia with her or she would run away with some military guy to California. Of course E went with it because at the time it seemed like the best thing to do, I guess. I didn’t know anything…didn’t suspect anything. Anyway, once my family found out that my younger sister was on her way to Georgia, they demanded E buy her a ticket to return (they had to stop in Seattle) and they will pay her back.
But during the course of all this, both families had exchanged many unkind words to each other…except for me. I didn’t talk to E…I didn’t know what to say and I felt very betrayed. After that, she vowed never to talk to any of us again. I thought I was fine with that, but lately, I’ve been having dreams about her and about the good times we had shared together. I miss her so much and I think about her all the time. I feel like I’ve been cheated because I didn’t do anything and yet, I’m the one who lost the one person who was so important to me. I don’t think my younger sister knows the damage she has caused, or even cares. Also, E wrote a really mean letter to my family when they tried to pay her back for the tickets. She was, obviously, too hurt to accept it.
Maybe wanting our families to go back to the way they were is expecting too much. But I still want us to be friends again. I miss her so much. I don’t know what to do. Should I call her up and talk things out? What should I say? What about the mean letter? Or maybe I should just let it all go and go on with my life and let her go on with hers? Please help.
Sincerely,
Hurt in Hawaii
Dear Hurt,
It sounds to me like you need closure with E one way or the other, so go ahead and get in touch with her. Explain to E that you know your sister put her in an impossible situation, and that everyone on both sides said and did things they regret now, including you – but you hope that the two of you can talk and maybe repair some of the damage.
Frankly, I don’t know how E expected your family to react when she more or less abetted your sister’s escape…if anyone should try to mend fences here, it’s your sister. And E might not go for at attempt at reconciliation, in which case you’ll have to accept that some situations can’t be fixed.
Tags: friendships the fam
