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Home » Culture and Criticism

Department Of Famous Girlfriends: Sharapova Edition

Submitted by on August 27, 2007 – 8:16 PM18 Comments

Why Maria Sharapova is one of my Famous Girlfriends:

1. She is in hilarious commercials. I love the one with the Pomeranian, where she's totally harassing it taking pictures and it's like, "Yeeees, I see you, tennis cham-pee-yun." Partly this is because I love Pomeranians — their little foxy faces always seem to have these manically happy smiles on, like, "Hi! Hi! I am a tiny dog! Hi! Hi! I make little boing noises as I gambol tinily about! Hello! Hi!" Also it's just funny that a woman whose backhand could end your life via blunt-force trauma would put her very small pet in a very small outfit, put it in a pool floatie, and photograph it. I know it's just a commercial, but still. But one of my favorite commercials of all time is of the Pove storming through various lobbies and so on, on her way to a match, glaring straight ahead, while everyone around her sings "I Feel Pretty" — including John McEnroe, whose five-year-old-little-brother face when he delivers his line of the song is awesome. I saw that ad probably seventy times last year and I never got sick of it.

2. She's six foot two. I just learned this in Sports Illustrated today. Five foot ten is pretty sweet; it has its disadvantages, but I like it pretty well up here. But five foot ten is like, "Yeah, she's tall." Six foot two is like, "…Damn."

3. She has very shiny hair and very sassy court attire. I respect whatever Serena was trying to do with the Roman-gladiator sandaleakers, but I didn't want to go out and get a pair. The Pove's little black dress made me want to take up tennis again so that I would have an excuse to buy one just like it.

I seem to recall hearing somewhere that the Pove is dating someone entirely unsuitable, which may threaten her FG status, but I hope that isn't true.

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  • Sophie says:

    Adam Levine of Maroon 5? Entirely unsuitable. I doubt you would have much fun double-dating.

  • PreppyLouche says:

    After she won Wimbledon, she was scheduled to give a tennis clinic to underprivileged kids in New Haven, which she had committed to before anyone thought she'd, you know, win Wimbledon. Unfortunately, it conflicted with the Wimbledon winners' ball. So she…. gave a tennis clinic to underprivileged kids in New Haven. Her agent (did she even have one at the time?) didn't break the story, another pro (Andy Roddick maybe?) did. Number 4: a modest class act.

  • autiger23 says:

    "So she…. gave a tennis clinic to underprivileged kids in New Haven. "

    Wow. That is absolutely a class act. Man, I don't even follow tennis much, but I love it when big name athletes act in an admirable way. So many of their fellows could take notes. *cough*Vick the Dick*cough*

  • Sars says:

    Sophie: Oh, boo. But at least he's tall enough for her. Or he looks tall enough; maybe it's just because he's skinny.

  • Vaughns says:

    Because I hunted them down, and thought others might want to too…links to the ads.

    Taking pics of the dog:

    I Feel Pretty:

  • KG says:

    She's not dating Adam Levine. They met once, at her birthday party a few years ago. Some magazine recently published a "quote" from him, but it's the same magazine that also, a few years ago, swore that Kournikova had two vajayjays.

    Masha herself…I go back and forth. I hate her as a player (ugly game, uglier gamesmanship, some possible cheating), but she seems like she might be okay off-court. She has some good lines in the US Open Promo bloopers I've seen.

  • Anusha says:

    I love the Pove (and the nickname). My favorite thing about her is how she refuses to get bogged down in what others try to say about her — she makes sure that everyone, including her, stays focused on the tennis, rather than her looks, love life, endorsements, or anything else. She seems very grounded and normal. And I don't expect to see panty-less shots of her exiting a car ever. But she should drop Adam Levine — ew.

  • Nicole says:

    What is it about Girlfriends having unsuitable dudes? I HATE that. Its like you have to weather a terrible storm until she figures it out and dumps the pimple. I recently heard the, "I think he might be the ONE." line. This is what hit-men are for. Really.

  • Mary says:

    OMG, I love the Pomeranian commercials, too! Exasperated tiny dog with French accent? Is genius.

  • Nomie says:

    Oh man, the "I Feel Pretty" commercial is so great. La la la, sure, she's gorgeous, but then that tremendous WHACK at the ball at the end lets you know what Sharapova's really all about.

  • Jenny says:

    Sars, are you talking about the tennis dress she wore that was a royal blue bottom layer with a kind of black tulle overlay? Because that was gorgeous and I don't play tennis (took it in college and almost failed when I beaned the instructor in the forehead, true story) but I covet it.

  • Sars says:

    The one I'm talking about was a black number with a thinner strap on one shoulder, so it suggested a one-shoulder gown, and it had little sparklies on it.

  • maria says:

    i love everything bout maria i think shes a beautiful person inside and out and is such a great role model to younger kids im 16 and ive been a fan for 3 1/2 years now and shes been my role model and still is and the more i see of her the more i like her she seems so warm, funny and kind offcourt and is a very genuine person i think.

  • elayne says:

    This has nothing to do with the post, but KG referenced a magazine saying that someone had "two vajayjays" and that reminded me of a former coworker who claimed the same condition. The proper term is "septate vagina" but she was very fond of working into every conversation, be it with friend or stranger, the amazing and fascinating fact that she had a "septic vagina."

    None of us ever corrected her. Mostly because we suspected "septic" was more accurate than "septate" but anyway.

    Sorry, back to the tennis topic.

  • Alison says:

    My sister has a pomerianian and that is such an accurate description of how they look … thanks for the laugh!

  • Trish says:

    The Pove=Anna Kournikova with tennis talent and the sense to stay away from Enrique Iglesias.

  • Nia says:

    We can get the Sharapova pomeranian commercial on YouTube, but not John McEnroe's AmEx conflict resolution? That's not right.

    I can't hold it against her, though.

  • Zooey says:

    What can I say to Maria Sharapova? Having a sexy, elongated bod is definitely a big damn for all. a tennis player wearing sports wear that really compliments her assets is a bomb! no wonder she is one in your famous girlfriends.

    Zooey Famous Girlfriends

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