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1 Butterfinger vs. 9 Clark Bar. I know I keep saying that I went through stages in my life where I was obsessed with one candy bar over the other, but it’s again true for Butterfinger. (I really should just shut up and do a candy-bar timeline for my life once and for all. Could prove quite enlightening, especially since I got obsessed with Whatchamacallits in college. Analyze THAT!) Right. So, Clark Bars are totally meh in light of the Agent Orange center of Butterfingers. Also, I love how the layers of Butterfinger crunch apart in flakey layers, just the way only the best-made pie crusts — the ones with lard — do. I love that I need to wear a catch-all bib when eating one, so that when the millions of tiny pieces cascade down with every bite, I won’t miss a smudge of chocolate or a bit of flake. Sigh. Butterfinger will win. Just because I said so.
5 Cadbury Creme Eggs vs. 4 Hershey’s Almond. When I first became aware of Cadbury Creme Eggs, I remember thinking there was no way they could be as revolting as they looked on those awesome — and still running — Easter commercials. I may have just been a kid, but I was a picky kid and I hated eggs, so I wondered who in their right mind would want to eat a candy that looked like a raw egg with all its stuff spilling out. (Hey, kids are susceptible. The whole “ants on a log” snacktastrophe may actually be why I hate raisins to this day.) Anyway, I finally tried a CCE (because my older sister made me), and I didn’t like it. It was just a bunch of oozy, sugary nothingness. HOWEVER, my opinions aside, I do think the creepy Creme Eggs will beat out Hershey’s Almond, mainly because I know people prize Cadbury chocolate above Hershey’s.
6 Baby Ruth vs. 14 After Eights. I was OBSESSED with Baby Ruth as a kid. However, since I only ever got it as a snack size — which, by the way, used to be MUCH LARGER than these stupid one-bite things they put out today — around Halloween, the idea of it being a contender for the Caddyshack Doodie Bar didn’t occur to me until many years (and many watchings) later.
My obsession with After Eights started when I lived in England and went to fancy dinners at Trinity College in Cambridge. The fancy dinners started with sherry in the Old Combination Rooms. Then, we proceeded into Hall and had wine throughout. Finally, we ended with port, coffee, and After Eights back in the Old Combination Rooms. It was SO schmancy and SO British that we of COURSE had to replicate the port-After Eights ritual back in the States. In fact, we can’t even buy After Eights unless we have port in the house. (Also, I fell in love with the Evil Dr. Mathra over port and After Eights, so there’s that.) But enough about me, what are you guys going to do? I think Baby Ruths are marginalized along with Oh Henry! and that people who love mint reeeeally love mint. After Eights in a squeaker.
7 Almond Joy vs. 2 fudge. My love for coconut would definitely win out in this fight, but I’m not the only judge here. I think I overestimated the coconut-haters in the last round, so while fudge is fine — especially when you’re on vacation with your parents in Traverse City, Michigan and the sole sweet you can get your hands on is special fudge that is only acquired after a loooooong, older-sister-poking-me-in-the-backseat day trip in a woody station wagon to Leelanau or Charlevoix — I think Almond Joy will win. (Meanwhile, Murdick’s Fudge is the only time I will willingly put anything maple-flavored into my mouth — hew — because their maple nut? Heaven.)
1 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup vs. 9 Junior Mints. This will be insane. I might be wrong, but I predict a run-off will be necessary here, since both are crowd favorites. Junior Mints are great, but outside of a movie theatre, they are not a go-to candy for me. Reese’s PBCs (aren’t those the little pellets they put in Beanie Babies?) are NOT something I’d choose to eat in the movie theatre. They’re hard to deal with in the dark, potentially melty-messy, and their wrappers make far too much noise for polite viewing company. However, I don’t actually go to movies all that often, so I’m more likely to eat far more Reese’s in my lifetime. There: I’ve argued it for me. I’d vote for Reese’s, and I think it will win in the end.
5 See’s/Whitman’s Sampler vs. 4 Kinder. This is a weird one, and I honestly have no idea which way it will go. However, judging by the comments following the last See’s/Whitman’s match-up, one of the sampler brands has a very loud and loyal following. (Whitman’s, right? You all love, love, LOVE Whitman’s and would do anything for it?) (Heh.) Based on that part of the voting public, I’m going to throw in with See’s/Whitman’s. I think Kinder is beloved, but I don’t recall seeing anyone really getting their dander up about it.
6 York Peppermint Patties vs. 3 Peanut M&Ms. I feel like this is the Reese’s PBC/Junior Mints battle in miniature for some reason, and it’s another match-up I have a hard time calling. What it comes down to for me is that you can’t eat a York PP the way I like to eat Peanut M&Ms. I suck off all the candy coating until you’re left with a very thin, slightly rough layer of shell that needs only the slightest tooth bump to give way to a tongue-ful of chocolate [“hew!” — Bunting] and then the peanut. Getting to the peanut would seem like a letdown after all that, but it really isn’t, because you finally get to chew through something after all that passive mouth-dissolving. While I do really like York’s, I don’t get as much fun out of eating them. What the hell, I’ll call this for Peanut M&Ms.
7 Whatchamacallit vs. 2 Snickers. NOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, this is just sad. There is no way my Whatchamacallit is going to outlast Snickers. And, for the record, I do love Snickers, too. It’s my go-to candy bar when I don’t know what I’m craving, but I know it needs to have chocolate and nuts and be satisfyingly bite-able. Like, peanut M&Ms have chocolate and nuts, but you crunch through those on your back teeth. I have these cravings where my front teeth need to sink into something firm but yielding. (I know I’m weird, you don’t have to look at me like that.) (By the way: “firm but yielding” is what you should look for when choosing an avocado. Just FYI.) Anyway, Snickers will take this, and I will play “Taps” to a Whatchamacallit before I scarf it down.
“loud and loyal” works for me. I don’t believe See’s will make it to the end, but glad to see it is currently winning and will make it out of this round.
Kinder chocolate is barely chocolate, but you get a toy in a Kinder Egg. Depends on your voting bases, I guess; I like samplers, but not enough to trump a tchotchke.
I don’t even like Peppermint Patties, but I buy them whenever I see them because I can’t get enough of breaking it apart oh so slowly by my ear and hearing the sound of snow falling. It’s just joyous beyond its flavor.
I think you should have polled Cadbury CARAMEL Eggs. Those damn things are just like crack. I would have to vote for them even over my beloved Snickers.
Just FYI, Kinder actually makes a COMPLETELY kick-ass candy bar called the Bueno. It’s milk chocolate over a Kit Kat-like shell and hazelnut creme inside the shell. I don’t even like hazelnut very much, but man, that is one awesome candy bar and proof that Kinder does actually make good chocolate.
Also, I’m with Keckler on being sad that my Whatchamacallit had to go up against Snickers. I still voted for it, because it is what I’d choose if I had the two sitting in front of me. In the end, Snickers are more versatile- they are awesome frozen on a hot day, and they are good just slightly melted in the microwave. No, really, nuke one for about 15-20 seconds on a plate until the middle starts to melt. Then Elaine it up and eat it with a fork. Yum. But non-melted and non-frozen, it’s Whatchamacallit all the way.
Reese’s PBC’s only get my vote IF they’re the miniature, foil-wrapped ones. The full-size ones just aren’t as good to me — I think the peanut-butter:chocolate ratio is better in the small ones. I hate how thin the chocolate is in the center of the regular-sized ones. Either way, VERY hard to go against Junior MInts.
The Peanut M&M’s and Peppermint Patty race is way too close. Nothing with mint in it should come anywhere near a perfect candy coated, chocolate covered peanut snack!
Oh, hell. My baby Whatchamacallit against the #1 chocolate bar in America? I’ll go sit over here & sulk, cos this is gonna get ugly.
Also, unlike Keckler, I definitely associate fudge with maple – Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory’s plain maple, no nuts, mmmmmmm. Or the clotted cream fudge habit I picked up on exchange in England, lo these many years; even with long times between supply, I always go bazoo when I get my hands on some. That stuff is crack to me. So maple or clotted cream fudge: that is my fudge vote.
I know everyone says fudge=chocolate, but no, and especially not with all the cake bits & raspberry jam stripes & shmallows that people add to it- that is not fudge, it is a Wagon Wheel. Or congealed ice cream. Please.
@Sars – just hearing about Dr. Groucho second-hand is enough to scar me for life. Buttermilk! Who knew?
I am happy to see that the Reese’s are killing the Junior Mints. I love the JMs, but truly, the thing that keeps me from committing a PMS-related homicide is the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. My husband has them stashed around the house so he can produce them right as I start to reach for the knives, “I’ll CUT YOU…ohhhh yay!”
I’m the exact opposite of DT. The small PBC have too much chocolate. Right now the Walgreens I shop at has the peanut-butter lover’s cups on sale. They’re the ones that only have the bottom and side chocolate and then it’s just peanut butter. YUM! My sister and I talk often about how the holiday cups (eggs, hearts, trees, pumpkins) all have the better peanut butter/chocolate ratio. Still, the regular Reese’s cups are my favorite.
*I agree with you re: biting into a Snickers. I would call this “mouthfeel” if I didn’t think that “mouthfeel” was one of those terms that people use because it sounds all smartsy but they don’t actually understand what it means, sort of like “partake”.
*I agree that Reese’s PBC are going to win the whole thing, if only because they’re basically the Plain Chocolate Ice Cream of candy bars–there’s nothing there for anyone to dislike, unless you are allergic to peanuts (or you’re one of those Commie wierdos who hate peanut butter.)
Noooooo deliciously minty York Peppermint Patties!
Noooooo delightfully named Whatchamacallit!
Noooooo we’re all stuck together in a ball of minty glory Junior Mints!
Keckler, when you start to play “Taps” for the Whatchamacallit, I shall stand at attention and salute. In fact, I think I will go and get one now, just so it doesn’t feel so bad.
After experience fudge in extreme mass quantities on Mackinac Island (Michigan – where they have an entire street that is almost nothing but the same stores over and over again, selling primarily fudge) I have to vote for anything OTHER than fudge. Seriously.
Well, I’ll get my dander up about Kinder. First of all, having ‘Kinder’ is like having just ‘Hershey’ or ‘Cadbury’ – it’s a whole brand, not just one choco thing. Second of all, the germans are unrecognized candy geniuses. If you want a more adult chocolate, you go for Belgian, but if you’re a 10-year-old with a sweet-tooth & in Germany, there is not much better. Kinder Bueno are awesome, there are Kinder Hippos, which are like half the size of the buenos & shaped like a hippo (. . . . yeah, I don’t know either), Kinder bars, and of course the Kinder Egg. I happily spent many allowances on Kinder products when I was a kid over in Germany for 2 years! I couldn’t speak much german, but I could speak schokolade!
The York vs Peanut M&Ms has me in a quandary. You see, they are a dual purchase for me. If I have a really tough deadline extending deep into the evening, the York and the PM&Ms combine to nurture me through the stress. To have them competing is just wrong!
All the chocolate discussion led me to buy a Whatchamacallit for the first time in years … only to be sadly disappointed. Don’t know if the recipe has changed, but the chocolate really seems awful now. Sadness….
I agree – Did Whatchamacallit change its recipe? In Canada, it was called Special Crisp, and I loved it…but I don’t remember that big chewy top coating of caramel being in there. When I had one years later, I was really disappointed by that layer. I’d peel it off. (Not a big caramel fan here, obvs.)
Now we can’t get it at all, so I went with Snickers.
I’ve been a silent voter until now, but I feel this needs to be said: I do not like Snickers. Nougat grosses me out. I am all Whatchamacallit in that poll. Of course, I’m a mint and coconut kind of girl (not together – at least not YET), so this follows my general trend of loving the losers.
I am like Keckler in that I have had brief but ardent love affairs with pretty much every candy bar listed, particularly with Baby Ruth. And Whatchamacallit. And…oh, so many. Charleston Chew! Twix! 1000 Grand! Sigh.
Ditto to everything Liz said- I too spent a few years in Germany as a kid- ages 4-7, prime chocolate years. Kinder will always be my inner child’s favorite.
I still have a shoe box somewhere with a whole collection of mid-eightes Kinder toys!
Nothing too specific to add here, just that this thread made me crave a Whatchamacallit like nobody’s business, even though I had to succumb to the power of the Snickers and vote for it. It really is THE ultimate candy bar.
Anyhoo, no Whatchamacallits in the vending machine at work? Denied! So I “settled” for a Twix, and damn, if it isn’t making this chocolate-craving, cranky and tired PMSing chica one happy happy camper. I’m actually smiling right now. Sweet, sweet chocolatey caramely cookie crunchy Twix FTW!
I found it while researching a murder (…this is a sentence I have more frequent use for than most), the true story of a neighborhood legend from my childhood. I grew up in a leafy, …
Today’s write-ups by Keckler.Updated bracket is here.Confused? Click here.
It was hard to vote against Whatchamacallit (my pre-Speed Skating practice snack in high school), but Snickers is the ideal candy bar.
“loud and loyal” works for me. I don’t believe See’s will make it to the end, but glad to see it is currently winning and will make it out of this round.
Kinder chocolate is barely chocolate, but you get a toy in a Kinder Egg. Depends on your voting bases, I guess; I like samplers, but not enough to trump a tchotchke.
I don’t even like Peppermint Patties, but I buy them whenever I see them because I can’t get enough of breaking it apart oh so slowly by my ear and hearing the sound of snow falling. It’s just joyous beyond its flavor.
I think you should have polled Cadbury CARAMEL Eggs. Those damn things are just like crack. I would have to vote for them even over my beloved Snickers.
Just FYI, Kinder actually makes a COMPLETELY kick-ass candy bar called the Bueno. It’s milk chocolate over a Kit Kat-like shell and hazelnut creme inside the shell. I don’t even like hazelnut very much, but man, that is one awesome candy bar and proof that Kinder does actually make good chocolate.
Also, I’m with Keckler on being sad that my Whatchamacallit had to go up against Snickers. I still voted for it, because it is what I’d choose if I had the two sitting in front of me. In the end, Snickers are more versatile- they are awesome frozen on a hot day, and they are good just slightly melted in the microwave. No, really, nuke one for about 15-20 seconds on a plate until the middle starts to melt. Then Elaine it up and eat it with a fork. Yum. But non-melted and non-frozen, it’s Whatchamacallit all the way.
Reese’s PBC’s only get my vote IF they’re the miniature, foil-wrapped ones. The full-size ones just aren’t as good to me — I think the peanut-butter:chocolate ratio is better in the small ones. I hate how thin the chocolate is in the center of the regular-sized ones. Either way, VERY hard to go against Junior MInts.
The Bueno IS really good, except for one thing — it gets Morphine’s “Bueno” stuck in my head.
I think we’re offically down to candy that I’ve heard of now. LOL Except Kinder. I have never heard of that one until the NCandyAA started.
Is it pronounced like k-EYE-nder or like kin-der?
This is starting to look like all my other brackets, just picking losers left and right with abandon.
The Peanut M&M’s and Peppermint Patty race is way too close. Nothing with mint in it should come anywhere near a perfect candy coated, chocolate covered peanut snack!
@Tisha: Kin-der (German for “children”).
@Mike: I read that as “peanut sack” and said out loud, “Hewww.” I am five, but I choose to blame Dr. Groucho.
Oh, hell. My baby Whatchamacallit against the #1 chocolate bar in America? I’ll go sit over here & sulk, cos this is gonna get ugly.
Also, unlike Keckler, I definitely associate fudge with maple – Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory’s plain maple, no nuts, mmmmmmm. Or the clotted cream fudge habit I picked up on exchange in England, lo these many years; even with long times between supply, I always go bazoo when I get my hands on some. That stuff is crack to me. So maple or clotted cream fudge: that is my fudge vote.
I know everyone says fudge=chocolate, but no, and especially not with all the cake bits & raspberry jam stripes & shmallows that people add to it- that is not fudge, it is a Wagon Wheel. Or congealed ice cream. Please.
@Sars – just hearing about Dr. Groucho second-hand is enough to scar me for life. Buttermilk! Who knew?
I am happy to see that the Reese’s are killing the Junior Mints. I love the JMs, but truly, the thing that keeps me from committing a PMS-related homicide is the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. My husband has them stashed around the house so he can produce them right as I start to reach for the knives, “I’ll CUT YOU…ohhhh yay!”
Dude, you can’t blame Dr. Groucho for all those pre-Dr. Groucho hew moments you’ve had in this bracket.
I’m the exact opposite of DT. The small PBC have too much chocolate. Right now the Walgreens I shop at has the peanut-butter lover’s cups on sale. They’re the ones that only have the bottom and side chocolate and then it’s just peanut butter. YUM! My sister and I talk often about how the holiday cups (eggs, hearts, trees, pumpkins) all have the better peanut butter/chocolate ratio. Still, the regular Reese’s cups are my favorite.
this round I am in mint chocolate heaven with my beloved cream egg for dessert.
*I agree with you re: biting into a Snickers. I would call this “mouthfeel” if I didn’t think that “mouthfeel” was one of those terms that people use because it sounds all smartsy but they don’t actually understand what it means, sort of like “partake”.
*I agree that Reese’s PBC are going to win the whole thing, if only because they’re basically the Plain Chocolate Ice Cream of candy bars–there’s nothing there for anyone to dislike, unless you are allergic to peanuts (or you’re one of those Commie wierdos who hate peanut butter.)
Noooooo deliciously minty York Peppermint Patties!
Noooooo delightfully named Whatchamacallit!
Noooooo we’re all stuck together in a ball of minty glory Junior Mints!
…
Yay ooey gooey Cadbury Creme Eggs!
Keckler, when you start to play “Taps” for the Whatchamacallit, I shall stand at attention and salute. In fact, I think I will go and get one now, just so it doesn’t feel so bad.
After experience fudge in extreme mass quantities on Mackinac Island (Michigan – where they have an entire street that is almost nothing but the same stores over and over again, selling primarily fudge) I have to vote for anything OTHER than fudge. Seriously.
Well, I’ll get my dander up about Kinder. First of all, having ‘Kinder’ is like having just ‘Hershey’ or ‘Cadbury’ – it’s a whole brand, not just one choco thing. Second of all, the germans are unrecognized candy geniuses. If you want a more adult chocolate, you go for Belgian, but if you’re a 10-year-old with a sweet-tooth & in Germany, there is not much better. Kinder Bueno are awesome, there are Kinder Hippos, which are like half the size of the buenos & shaped like a hippo (. . . . yeah, I don’t know either), Kinder bars, and of course the Kinder Egg. I happily spent many allowances on Kinder products when I was a kid over in Germany for 2 years! I couldn’t speak much german, but I could speak schokolade!
whoops.. I meant “experiencing.”
The York vs Peanut M&Ms has me in a quandary. You see, they are a dual purchase for me. If I have a really tough deadline extending deep into the evening, the York and the PM&Ms combine to nurture me through the stress. To have them competing is just wrong!
All the chocolate discussion led me to buy a Whatchamacallit for the first time in years … only to be sadly disappointed. Don’t know if the recipe has changed, but the chocolate really seems awful now. Sadness….
@StillAnotherKate, I’m polishing my bugle.
And before Bunting says it, I’ll just add “Hew” to that last post of mine.
…KECKLER.
Children-flavored candy?!
Oh, that’s just not right.
Although there have been days when that’s what I’m in the mood for, come to think of it …
I agree – Did Whatchamacallit change its recipe? In Canada, it was called Special Crisp, and I loved it…but I don’t remember that big chewy top coating of caramel being in there. When I had one years later, I was really disappointed by that layer. I’d peel it off. (Not a big caramel fan here, obvs.)
Now we can’t get it at all, so I went with Snickers.
I’ve been a silent voter until now, but I feel this needs to be said: I do not like Snickers. Nougat grosses me out. I am all Whatchamacallit in that poll. Of course, I’m a mint and coconut kind of girl (not together – at least not YET), so this follows my general trend of loving the losers.
I am like Keckler in that I have had brief but ardent love affairs with pretty much every candy bar listed, particularly with Baby Ruth. And Whatchamacallit. And…oh, so many. Charleston Chew! Twix! 1000 Grand! Sigh.
Ditto to everything Liz said- I too spent a few years in Germany as a kid- ages 4-7, prime chocolate years. Kinder will always be my inner child’s favorite.
I still have a shoe box somewhere with a whole collection of mid-eightes Kinder toys!
Nothing too specific to add here, just that this thread made me crave a Whatchamacallit like nobody’s business, even though I had to succumb to the power of the Snickers and vote for it. It really is THE ultimate candy bar.
Anyhoo, no Whatchamacallits in the vending machine at work? Denied! So I “settled” for a Twix, and damn, if it isn’t making this chocolate-craving, cranky and tired PMSing chica one happy happy camper. I’m actually smiling right now. Sweet, sweet chocolatey caramely cookie crunchy Twix FTW!