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Home » Culture and Criticism

N Cracker AA Semifinal Round 1: Vote!

Submitted by on November 12, 2013 – 11:27 AM11 Comments


Ohhhhh God. I just…where do I…why? God. This is impossible! And this isn't even the hardest one!

…Okay. I love Wheat Thins for their one-bite size and stackability, their top note of wheaty sweetness. And I love Ritz for their cakey texture and how they go with everything, even snobby cheeses. (They're probably not supposed to, but: they do.)

But I love Carr's Rosemary the most — even the green package that falsely implies vegetable healthfulness — and they've got my vote.

As for what wins: I don't think it's Wheat Thins, and I feel like Goldfish have as many detractors as fans. I'll pray for Carr's, but I think it's Ritz in the finals. — Sarah D. Bunting

Votes will get split between Cheez-Its and Goldfish (which, let's face it, are pretty much the same thing*), so I see this coming down to a pretty tough fight between Wheat Thins and Ritz. Ritz will always get my vote because, as a picky child, they made everything taste delicious, even tuna salad. — Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic

*As I type that, I can already feel the indignant wrath of the Cheez-Its and Goldfish fans steaming out from my laptop screen.

N Cracker AA Semis, Flight 1: Vote for your favorite cracker!

  • Wheat Thins original (34%, 209 Votes)
  • Ritz original (32%, 197 Votes)
  • Goldfish cheddar (16%, 101 Votes)
  • Cheez-Its white cheddar (9%, 57 Votes)
  • Carr's rosemary (9%, 53 Votes)

Total Voters: 617

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  • Judy says:

    See, the problem is… I used to LOVE wheat thins. There are wheat thins in my desk right now to go with some amazing organic white cheddar at lunch. But my last few boxes have tasted differently and have a different texture, so I think they changed them. I can't eat them plain (at least not by the handful like I used to) anymore. So Ritz got my vote.

  • Lily P. says:

    I am super not a "diet" food eater but the Reduced Fat Wheat Thins are really the way to go. They have that particular light crispiness that the sad greasy Original variety lacks.

    Goldfish and Ritz are my nostalgic favorites but Cheez-Its are just unmatchable in terms of pure cheesy deliciousness. Cheez-Its for the win!

  • Jenn says:

    I saw milk chocolate-dipped Ritz crackers at the store the other day. Why is this a thing?

  • Amy says:

    Cheez-its are delightful, but wheat thins will forever have a place in my heart for being almost the one food that tasted good and that I could keep down during my horrendous pregnancy. Plus, now my son loves them too. And a toddler asking for 'yellow crackers' is just the cutest.

  • Meri says:

    Oh dear. Ritz, you're buttery and delicious; Cheez-Its, you keep tricking me into thinking one box is a serving; but Wheat Thins… you're thin and delicious and my sister and I used to microwave them with cheese and hotdogs to make horse divers (Hors d'oeuvre) for our tea parties, and you just can't beat that kind of nostalgia.

  • Sophie Charlotte says:

    WHAT Carr's Rosemary trailing HORRIBLY I'm moving to Canada.

  • Emma says:

    @Jenn – makes no sense to me either, but then salty/savory and chocolate has never been a combo that works for me. (Even chocolate-covered pretzels.)

  • Jennifer M. says:

    If it had been original Cheez-Its, that would have been my vote, but the powdery residue from the white cheddar variety annoys me (though as an American living overseas, I'll take what I can get hen I find them in the local stores). Goldfish it is – I like food that affords me the opportunity to bite off a head!

  • MizShrew says:

    A fair portion of my college diet consisted of Wheat Thins and sour cream, and while there are other crackers I prefer now, I still love me a Wheat Thin. Or twenty.

  • Kitty says:

    This was pretty easy for me, although my vote pretty much won't count here.

    Wheat Thins? – too weirdly sweet

    Ritz original? – tasty at first bite, but then sticks to the roof of my mouth in a most unpleasant way.

    Goldfish cheddar? – Barf. Reminds me of little kids in a foul way. Sometimes, but only sometimes, good sprinkled on tomato soup. But there has to be no other cracker choice at my disposal.

    Cheez-Its white cheddar? – DOUBLE BARF. I've already ranted about this foul cracker in another post, but seriously y'all, GROSS.

    That leaves my beloved Carr's Rosemary. They're so so yummy. Won't win though.

  • Shannon says:

    Amy- I'm just getting through (I hope) the throes of hyperemesis, which is affecting my vote also. I would have said Ritz four months ago, but I don't think I'll ever be able to eat them again because of how many times I threw them up. So, wheat thins it is!

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