"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Home » Culture and Criticism

N Cracker AA Semifinal Round 2: Vote!

Submitted by on November 14, 2013 – 10:00 AM6 Comments


Wait, I was wrong, Cheez-Its and Goldfish aficionados — those aren't the indistinguishable two, it's Cheez-Its and Cheese Nips that are carbon cracker copies of one another.

Fun fact: in old timey speak, "cheese it" means to run away, or, alternatively to shut up. This is something I learned reading every copy of P.G. Wodehouse available on the planet and watching Timothy Hutton in Nero Wolfe Mysteries. Example 1: "Cheese it, boys, the po-po is coming!" Example 2: "Cheese it with your Blacklist spoilers!"

If there is any justice in this world, Triscuits come out on top. However, I will admit to being slightly concerned about how many of you have excessively tender mouth roofs. You all should get that checked out, because it probably means you're having a stroke. — Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic


I must confess that the second semifinal isn't very exciting for me. I could probably live without any of these — except Cheese Nips, which gets my vote, but only in an "I guess?" way.

But I can't tell whether Nips will win out over sentimental favorites like oyster crackers (essential for chowder) and Triscuits (functionally the only cracker of my childhood). Carr's Water is a long shot despite its flexibility. Do saltines have a chance? I think they do. But I think it's Nips in the final. — Sarah D. Bunting

N Cracker AA Semis, Flight 2: Vote for your favorite cracker!

  • Triscuits original (46%, 267 Votes)
  • Premium Saltines original (26%, 151 Votes)
  • Carr's Water Crackers (10%, 59 Votes)
  • Cheese Nips (10%, 57 Votes)
  • oyster crackers (8%, 51 Votes)

Total Voters: 585

Loading ... Loading ...
Be Sociable, Share!



  • Kitty says:

    Easy-peasy round. Triscuits, hands down!

  • Erin in SLC says:

    Cheez-It and Cheese Nips, indistinguishable? PLEASE. Cheez-It Original will win this competition if there's any justice in the world, and Cheese Nips taste the way Lenin's corpse looks.

  • Kristen says:

    Preach it, Erin in SLC, preach it!

  • Kristin says:

    Go, Triscuits, go, with your salty deliciousness and ability to manage either cheese, or peanut butter, or fancy stuff too.

    Eric in SLC, just how much time have you spent with Lenin's corpse? :-)

  • TexasAnnie says:

    Fun fact: few things are more fun than teaching small children who don't belong to you that the proper reaction to seeing a police car is to yell, "Cheese it! It's the heat!"

Leave a comment!

Please familiarize yourself with the Tomato Nation commenting policy before posting.
It is in the FAQ. Thanks, friend.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>