The Amy March Shirt Of Justice: Coming Soon!
No sooner had the guest bowed himself out than Jenny, under the pretense of asking an important question, informed Mr. Davis, the teacher, that Amy March had pickled limes in her desk. …
"Bring the rest immediately." With a despairing glance at her set, she obeyed. "You are sure there are no more?"
"I never lie, sir."
"So I see. Now take these disgusting things two by two, and throw them out the window."
One of the most satisfying moments in children's literature, in my personal opinion. I've always hated Amy March, and when that little brat has to huck all her limes out the window and gets whacked across the palm with a ruler to boot, reader, I smirk every time. Of course, it totally ruins it that she gets to storm home from school in the middle of the day and stay home forever because Marmee is a pinko who doesn't believe in capital punishment, and then she destroys Jo's shit and the whole family's all "she feels terrible, let's forgive her in five minutes" LIKE HOW ABOUT LET'S MAKE HER LIVE ON THE ROOF, AND THEN Captain Hormone Pianopants Laurie has to go and marry her, like, oh, she does sketches and will french me in a rowboat on the Continent, well la dee fucking da.
But for that brief shining moment, as the dreaded Irish children scuffle over the pickled limes, we older siblings could feel like we'd seen some justice. And now you can commemorate that moment in t-shirt form. Wear it, give it as a gift, buy two and throw 'em out the window, whatever you want. Just don't borrow Sallie's and then burn a hole in it. (…Right? That happened? To Meg, not Amy, but still.)
I've got some work to do still on getting the price down to a reasonable level, and when I do, I'll put up pre-ordering instructions — so watch this space! Or…use it to rant about stupid Amy.
Tags: books brats of literature retail shut up Amy March