The Ikea Visual Pronunciation Guide
If you've ever visited an Ikea, you know that one of the rituals of the trip — along with the sweet reward of meatballs after a deflating hour of comparing countertops, and the despair with which you greet the packet of wooden dowels found after you "finished" "building" that highboy — is the repetition of the product names for your own amusement.You may think it is just you who takes such consonant, stentorian pleasure in snapping off "Dacke" and "Udden" — that nobody else would admit to it, anyway, because it's childish and disrespectful to Scandinavian culture.
It is not just you.It is everyone.The next time you shop at Ikea, pause for a moment.Listen.It is happening all around you.Couples, siblings, long-time roommates, wandering through the cavernous warehouse, using chewy-named bookcases as a form of bat sonar for locating one another.
Or perhaps, because of the many children running around, it is substituted for more severe language.
"FlÃ¤ng, where's the rod that goes with this?"
"This JÃ¤rpen pencil keeps breaking."
"That little Trollsta just cut in front of us."
"They're out of DVD shelving?Ben-nooooooooooooooooo!"
If you do not participate in this behavior — if you have not struck a General Sherman pose beside the candle display and bellowed to your companions, several rooms over, "Tindraaaaaaaaaaaaa!" — perhaps it's because you feel unsure; shy.The Buntings can help.On our visit to the new Red Hook Ikea, we compiled a brief visual overview of various Ikea-nunciations; consulting it will, we can only hope, instill in you a feeling of security…of confidence.Of…FlÃ¤rke.Please enjoy the Ikea Visual Pronunciation Guide, starring Mr. Stupidhead, Gen, and yours truly.
Tags: city living Gen home 'n' garden Ikea local biz meatballs Mr. Stupidhead photo essay retail