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Home » Culture and Criticism

The N Candy AA

Submitted by on March 18, 2010 – 12:57 AM26 Comments

We've crownedkings in the snackets for cheese, ice cream, and cereal. Now it's timefor yet another series of showdowns in the grocery aisle, as the BunklerSnacketology Clinic rocks your sweet teeth with…The N Candy AA II: The Non-Choc-ening.

TNfood-bracket vets will remember how the tourney works; becauseour Mallo Cups ranneth over with types and brands, we had to doubleyour fun with two brackets: one for chocolate-adjacent candy, which we already did, andone for all the other candies.

After we'vebuilt the bracket, business proceeds as usual: we (that's me and Keckler, the Sully of this series of flights) post the commentary on the match-ups; you vote in thecorresponding polls; everyone involved talks trash about…well,whatever the candy equivalent of fruitcake is. Probably somethingBunting likes, because she has the candy palate of a 93-year-old womannamed Mabel. Now get off her lawn…and go fetch her some kosher fruitslices.

Watch the front page of TN, GrubReport.com, or the TN Twitter feed(that's @tomatonation) for updates. You'll have a day or twoto vote each slate, and then we close the polls, tally the results,update the bracket, and start the process over again for the next round.

You can alsofind updates and instructions on this page throughout the tournament.

Questions?Interested in sponsoring a round with an ad or a prize? Drop an email tobunting at tomatonation dot com.

Again, the current NCandy AA bracket is right here.

Wheredo we vote?

Right here on TN. Look for the "N Candy AA" tag; that will lead youto the current polls. If you can't find a poll, that means we're betweenrounds.

How couldyou leave off [candy I love] and include [disgusting candy]?! YOURSNACKET SUCKS AND I HATE YOU GUYS!

With only 64slots in four areas, we can't include everything. There is a consideredrationale for inclusion and exclusion; we don't do it to piss you off.

Why is [x]in one category but [y] in another?! SUCKS! HATE!

Again: 64slots; 4 flights of 16 each. We do our best to classify everythingcorrectly within the limits of the bracket structure, but the bracketstructure…has limits, and we won't be able to please everyone.Inevitably, some folks will feel like their favorite candy got shankedin the draw, or that we aren't scientific enough, but we encourage youjust to have fun with it.

You shouldabsolutely email me if you spot any mistakes, but please understand that"I think your ranking of Fun Dips is BULLSHIT!!!1!" is more of adifference of opinion than an error.

I don'tactually like/care about candy that much. What's the next bracket?

Probably chips/starchy snacks, but let's try to survive this one with our tooth enamel intact first.

lastupdated 18 October, 12 PM

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26 Comments »

  • Bo says:

    Sars, is the Symphony (13 in the SW) the one with toffee chips and nuts or the plain milk chocolate one?

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    @Bo: All Symphonies. Toffee, plain, Beethoven's 5th, it's all in that one entry.

  • Nichole says:

    I don't think I can adequately express how much fun was just had in my living room reading over this bracket. This is the most wonderful time of the year.

  • Susan says:

    Oh Symphony and Take 5 in the same quad. If those two meet up, I'll be so torn. Thanks for doing this! I can't wait!

  • autiger23 says:

    Oh, man, love it!! How fun would it be to have a pool on who's going to win like everyone does on basketball. LOL! Winner gets the candy that triumphs. :D

  • Anonymous says:

    Query: Does the Lindt/Lindor entry include all chocolate from Lindt, or just Lindor candies? Does it include Hot Papapya and Fig and Caramel chocolate bars and such assorted deliciousness?

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    All chocolate from Lindt.

  • patricia says:

    Oh my. The southwest bracket has so many of my faves in it: Symphony, Take Five, Junior Mints, Peppermint Patties. That one will be a struggle for me for sure. Yet so much fun! Thanks for doing this!

  • Natalie says:

    Caramello versus Charleston Chew right off the bat? NOOOOOO!!!! ;)

    This is gonna make me want a solid ton of candy. Awesome.

  • Glark says:

    I'm cheering for the Glark bar.

    Oh.

  • Cyntada says:

    Cadbury creme eggs vs. Fererro Rocher is my personal Bracket From the Third Circle of Hell. There are few things called "candy" that I could possibly hate more than those. Anybody want my share?

    But then, if Junior Mints get pitted against York Patties I will have to cry, because I can't vote against EITHER ONE.

    This truly promises to be the best NC—-AA evah!

  • Jen says:

    Will definitely be rooting for the Cadbury Creme Egg, though (and I'm sure this has come up in previous snackets), being Canadian sucks! So many presumably wonderful candies, so many not readily available here!

  • Erin W says:

    Hershey versus Dove in such an early rounds? Isn't that the eternal question?

    (True story: I just got back from a snack run at the drugstore on the corner. I literally spent two minutes deciding whether I wanted to buy a Hershey bar or a Dove bar. Hershey bar = good, plus a lot of chocolate for $0.89. Dove bar = perhaps better in quality, but smaller and equal in price at $0.89, thus less chocolate overall that I get to consume.)

    (I bought the Hershey.)

  • Toni says:

    Butterfinger is a #1 seed? All is right with the world.

    (I'm actually reading this before heading out to work the *actual* NCAA tournament, but I suspect that the food provided for the N Candy AA will be far superior, even if I have to purchase it myself. When they served us media people dinner during the first round on Friday they RAN OUT OF COOKIES. It was a TRAGEDY.)

  • Hellcat13 says:

    Peanut Butter Cups FTW!!! I truly feel awful for all the peanut allergy peeps out there who've never know the perfection that is the Reese Peanut Butter Cup. Accept no substitutions.

  • anotherkate says:

    I had to google Joyva, I'd never even heard of that brand. Funny, because I remember being the only kid at Halloween who wanted the Sesame Crunch minibar things. Didn't even have to trade for them, kids just gave them away.
    Also, KitKat v. Mallocup? I will be up nights trying to work that one out.

  • Hawkeyegirl says:

    I agree with Nichole, this is the most wonderful time of the year!

    Lindt truffles are the food of the gods.

  • Jaybird says:

    Cyntada, that's exactly how I feel…about mint. If I want to taste that crap, I'll eat a tube of toothpaste.

  • Tori says:

    On filling it out, Snickers vs Caramellos came out my final two. I… can't pick a winner. This is rough.

  • cayenne says:

    Reese Cups for the win! Though I really like 5th Avenue (or at least did until they changed to the fake chocolate coating), Whatchamacallits & Skor.

    For those who love Butterfinger, I would like to suggest you hunt down a Canadian bar called Crispy Crunch. Infinitely better.

    @Jen, you can find them in some of the "bulk candy" or "retro candy" shops like Sugar Mountain that sell out-of-market snacks like American & British candy and chocolate bars, but be prepared to spend about $2/bar for them. I have a particular hate for those stores that sell a Cadbury Fudge bar marked 15p for $1.69. Worse gougers than gas stations.

  • Ebeth says:

    Had to google Joyva, Mallo Cups, Sky Bar and Duplo (which I thought were oversized Legos)…always loved the sesame crunch things, too! :)

  • lanehat says:

    That Reese's/Snickers bracket is brutal! Almost all my favorites in one place, so I'm gonna have to support whoever gets out of that one alive (unless it's the Zero).

  • [...] lots of fun on Friday night debating the merits of candies. Tomato Nation is currently holding the N Candy AA, and the polls for the first round opened today. I will be following this closely, although I [...]

  • Tarn says:

    Some of these are just ridiculously outmatched. Fudge vs. Chunky? Girl please! Fudge brings back memories of Christmas, and Chunky has raisins! No contest!

    But then you kick it up a notch. Twix vs. Milk Duds? Krackel vs. Whoppers? M&Ms vs. Ghirardelli?!? These are the Sophie's choices of candy!

  • Grainger says:

    Could I make a request? In future NCAA things, please put a description of the items in the write-up. I think that a lot of these things might be going on name-recognition alone, i.e. "something I've actually heard of" versus "what the hell is a Winkadamladooder?"

    Maybe for stuff like cheese it's difficult, but for candy and cookies you can at least say "it's chocolate with almonds in" or "it's a sugar cookie with chocolate frosting on one half".

  • Stephanie says:

    Wait, haven't we already done cookies? Am I imagining things again?

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