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Home » Culture and Criticism

The N Cookie AA Championship Bout

Submitted by on August 5, 2014 – 8:42 AM28 Comments

ncookieaa

Five cookies enter. One cookie leaves.

(Not sure what's going on here? Check out the N Cookie AA FAQ.)

I am shocked — SHOCKED — that no Chips Ahoy made it to the finals, and yet Nutter Butters did? Bizarre. That is the only finalist that truly shocks me, although I guess I didn't think Milanos could beat Chips Ahoy either.

I am not shocked — NOT SHOCKED — to see two offerings from the Girl Scouts here. I don't love Samoas as much as I do the Do-Si-Dos, but they happen to be Dr. Mathra's favorite, so I'll allow that there are lots of similarly-minded people out there. I think it's going to be a photo finish between Thin Mints and Oreos with Oreos coming out the winner. –Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic

*****

It's surprising — and not in a bad way — to see what ISN'T here. Chips Ahoy, anything with "soft" in the name, pesky fruit all left in the dust.

It's also a cinchy call for me; I only eat two of these cookies, Thin Mints and Nutters, with any regularity, and as much as I love the salty hit from an NB's cheap PB, I've got to go Thin Mints. And in every previous round, calling it for Thin Mints was a no-brainer, but here, up against its purple-boxed brand rival and two chocolatey classics? …With the understanding that a couple of my semifinal predictions were so estranged from the actual outcome that I'm not sure I made them in English: it's close…but it's Oreos. — Sarah D. Bunting

VOTE NOW!

The N Cookie AA Final: Vote for your champion!

  • Girl Scout Thin Mints (28%, 200 Votes)
  • Oreos, original (25%, 181 Votes)
  • Girl Scout Samoas (22%, 160 Votes)
  • Pepperidge Farm Milanos, original (dark chocolate) (17%, 121 Votes)
  • Nutter Butters (8%, 58 Votes)

Total Voters: 720

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28 Comments »

  • Heather C. says:

    They probably won't win, but I will vote for Milanos every time, for they are my Waterloo.

  • S says:

    Only one peanut butter cookie and it's Nutter Butters?

  • Dave P. says:

    It's going to be Samoas. They are the best Girl Scout cookie, but I don't think they even make my personal Top 10.

  • Jesse says:

    I don't understand how Milanos go farther than Brussels! Brussels are the best! Especially if you have them as a car snack and they get a little warm and melty.

  • Alan Swann says:

    Don't ever underestimate Nutter Butters. The local Red Cross chapter suffered a severe drop in blood donors when, as a cost-cutting move, it dropped Nutter Butters from its canteen. Yes, people already civic-minded enough to consider donating blood decided against it because they wouldn't get those quirky, textured, eat-two-and-drink-an-entire-glass-of-milk cookies.

  • GracieGirl says:

    This is a very, very tough call. For me, the deciding factor is that while I flove Oreos dunked in milk, I only like Oreos straight. That gives the edge to Thin Mints which are perfect sans any accessory.

  • Krissa says:

    What is the deal with Oreos? I really don't get it. They taste terrible; The filling is wax and sugar, the cookie is mud to fill the cracks between your teeth, and is nearly impossible to remove. There is the strange "lick-and-stick" eating habit that is unacceptable in any other setting. I will never understand. A vote for Oreo is a vote for mud teeth.

  • Nanc in Ashalnd says:

    I'm voting Thin Mints (while mentally chanting BRUSSELS! BRUSSELS! BRUSSELS!) because while I won't buy them, I don't want to crown Oreos as champ. It's like Oreos are the East German women's swim team from the 76 Olympics (although like those poor ladies, Oreos probably have no idea they're all chemicals).

    I don't mourn the lack of a Chips Ahoy as I am apparently the only living person who does not like chocolate chip cookies.

  • Dayna says:

    Samoas. Always and forever.

  • cayenne says:

    MILANOS. That is all.

  • Georgia says:

    @Nanc in Ashland

    I like chocolate chip cookies, but Chips Ahoy don't qualify. Homemade or nothin'.

  • ferretrick says:

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/02/26/Girl-Scouts-Hire-Lesbian-as-Chief-Girl%20Experience-Officer

    BTW, I'm sending the results of this poll to breitbart.com, Concerned Women for America, and any other right wing anti Girl Scout nut jobs I can think of to make their heads explode. Tomato Nation is such a force for good in the universe.

  • Jen S 1.0 says:

    Thin Mints. I can eat a sleeve in seconds. Eeeeeeaaaaat. So want cookies now.

  • Sandman says:

    Yeah, homemade chocolate chips or don't bother showing up.

    It's like Oreos are the East German women's swim team from the 76 Olympics (although like those poor ladies, Oreos probably have no idea they're all chemicals).

    @Nanc: Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

  • Rebecca U says:

    I know I'm not the only person who can't eat mint (runny nose, watery eyes, instant sneezing) but maybe the only one voting.

    Between Nutter Butter and Milanos is a tough choice but if the two were on a plate and i could only eat one, it would be the Milano. Which is in next to last place right now. Bother.

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    Is this because I'm a lesbian?

  • M says:

    Milanos are probably doomed to place, instead of winning as they should. The cookie parts of all the other cookies are nowhere near as good as the buttery crispness of Milanos.

  • Meri says:

    I'm voting for Samoas (So caramel-y! So coconut-y! So easy to eat a box of and then wonder what happened to them!) but really I just want Oreos not to win. I've nothing against them, and they make a damn fine cheesecake crust, but the best possible cookie? I think not.

  • Bea says:

    I'm eating Oreos as I vote. Does that count as vote tampering? ;)

  • Aimee says:

    As someone who loves desserts, cookies, and chocolate in general, I'm so disappointed with the final list. I could easily pass up any of these cookies.

  • Jobiska says:

    Darn, I voted for Samoas (which of all the above I would definitely pick first to actually eat) but now I wish I'd voted for Thin Mints just to keep Oreos from winning! I am amused that I have fellow "keep Oreos out of office" folk upthread. In addition to the whole chemicals and messy teeth things folk have noted, it took me a while to figure out, but Oreos have an unpleasant effect on my digestive system!

  • Kat From Jersey says:

    Methinks my Nutter Butters will be left in the dust ("Have *another* Nutter Butter peanut butter sandwich cookie"). I have to eat them surreptitiously, because my son has a peanut allergy and we can't keep them in the house.

  • Tracey says:

    I voted Samoas, because I can't pass up coconut, but Thin Mints are right up there. They also have the advantage of that convenient single-serving package.

    Oreos were better before they messed around with the filling. Made it less toxic or something.

  • Jo says:

    I expected Oreos to take it from the beginning. But I'd say these are roughly my top 5 favorite cookies. I almost gave it to think mints.

    But I can only assume Newman's Ginger-O's aren't on the list because enough people haven't tried them. I've been craving them since this whole tournament began and can't find them now. I don't know if I just live near crappy stores or if, god forbid, they're not being sold anymore.

    Chips Ahoy are gross. Too soft and they have a weird flavor. Good chocolate chip cookies are so easy to make from scratch — why buy pre-packaged ones?

  • Kristin 2 the Kristin Boogaloo says:

    I have finally become an average American, abstaining from the voting process due to an overwhelming sense of ennui…

    Though Nanc and Sars crack me up.

  • RachelG says:

    While I find it difficult to stop at less than a sleeve of Thin Mints, Milanos will always be my first love… and no one puts Milanos in the corner.

  • Rbelle says:

    My family has a recipe for a mint-chocolate sandwich cookie (basically, a chocolate-mint cookie with a Peppermint Patty-type thing melted in the middle) that is divine, and I can't enjoy Thin Mints because of it. Same with my mom's chocolate chip vs. Chips Ahoy of any kind.

    Thus, I was going to go with Oreos, which don't aspire to anything near real cookieness, until I remembered I don't like Oreos, I like Doublestuff, and if you think there's no difference, I have a package of Candy Corn flavored Oreos to sell you.

    So … Samoas. Besides Tim Tams, they're the closest thing to a cookie that is actually a Twix bar … you know, plus coconut.

  • Cora says:

    Krissa?!?! Some of us LIKE wax and mud teeth, geez. Don't be a hater, man. ;)

    Irrespective of which cookie wins I think we should start a chapter of Concerned Lesbians Into Thinmints.

    (God, I hope that isn't too crude for this crowd. Any pearlclutchers out there in the Nation?)

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