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Home » Culture and Criticism

The N Cookie AA: Round 1, Flight 5

Submitted by on July 2, 2014 – 8:35 PM29 Comments

ncookieaa

…Gah. GAH! I…gaaaaAAAHHHH! So many favorites!

(Not sure what's going on here? Check out the N Cookie AA FAQ.)

I thought I'd have an easy time in the fifth flight. Grasshoppers? They're Thin Mint knockoffs! …Wait, Dirk and I killed a whole tray in like seven minutes over the weekend. PF's Geneva isn't that gr– wait, those? So dense, with just the right amount of chocolate for the "I like chocolate but take it easy, bro" cookie fan like myself? This is just the cookies I didn't plan to vote for!

Because I goddamn love those Entenmann's holiday whatevers, the cakey butter cookie with the dark chocolate backing and the appropriately colored jimmy depending on the season (orange for Halloween, etc.). I love Tagalongs, even the inferior modern-day verzh with the greezier chocolate and the grainier peanut butter. I love the Lorna Doone; you can make a little sandwich with a slice of banana and some Cool Whip. (Go ahead, I'll wait. …AMIRITE?!) I love the Cameo, and the late great Mystic Mint is my very favorite Oreo — not that anyone ever admitted that it's just an Oreo dunked in mint choc, but who cares, those things rocked. My grandmother's white-gloviest friend used to cut them into quarters for afternoon tea.

And then, the Archway Molasses. It's basically a small cake, and they may not use real molasses anymore, but my pops is one of those blackstrapoholic weirdos who would put it on pancakes and in cocktails and whatnot, and the only time he ever lowered himself to the "hold child by forehead while it windmilled pathetically" maneuver was in the service of eating the last one of these.

I expect exactly none of these to medal except the Tagalong; they'll be followed by Pinwheels, OG Chips Ahoy, a PF, and Fudge Stripe. And if I had two ballots, I'd probably vote the same way. — Sarah D. Bunting

*****

This is a bad, sad bracket for me. Too many favorites to deal with. Might…go…crazy. Oh, wait, I already did go crazy a few rounds back when I confused Do-Si-Dos with Tagalongs! Minnesotan Girl Scouts in the '80s sold Do-Si-Dos as Savannahs, and I didn't love them then or now. ["Now 'Savannah Smiles' are the lemon ones, I think? Which I love. And it's fruit, so they're good for you! …Kill me." — SDB] The now-called Tagalongs are what we called Hoedowns (I was prepared to swear they were called "Hosannas" briefly but I really think I might be conflating Savannahs and Hoedowns because there's no way the GS ever went with such a religious name). Anyway, Taga-downs/Hoe-longs are totally in it to win it, so they are a lock this time.

I adore McVitties Digestives in milk or plain and possibly even prefer them to HobNobs, which sounds like cookie heresy, but it's just that HobNobs are so thick and chunky and wheat-y that they are overly filling. I could eat half a sleeve of McVitties Digestives and not even cramp. Also, for any old movie fans out there: can you ever not call Digestives "Diggie biscuits" after watching Charles Boyer drive Ingrid Bergman to the brink of insanity in Gaslight? Me either.

Tip about the awesome original Chips Ahoy: if you eat them while drinking pumpkin ale, it totally brings out all the spices. It sounds crazy, but trust me, it's an incredible pairing.

Biscoff/Speculoos: lovelovelove, but please just always call them Biscoff because Speculoos is too close to "speculum" for cookie comfort.

EL Fudge Sandwich: I had such strong childhood memories about this cookie that my friend Jennifer Steinhauer wrote about them in her cookbook, Treat Yourself.

I love Pep Farm Geneva, Nantucket (though not as much as Sausalito and Chesapeake), Pinwheels, and Keebler's Fudge Stripes were worn as rings and busily eaten off fingers.

Crap. I do not know who is getting my votes. TOO FREAKING MANY GOOD THINGS! However, I do know that I will NOT be voting for orange Milanos because I am vehemently against fruit-flavored chocolate.

Predictions: Tagalongs, Chips Ahoy, Fudge Stripe, Pinwheels, and…EL Fudge? — Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic

VOTE!

Vote for your FIVE (5) favorite cookies!

  • Girl Scout Tagalongs / peanut-butter patties (56%, 312 Votes)
  • Keebler Fudge Stripe (50%, 278 Votes)
  • Chips Ahoy, original (47%, 264 Votes)
  • Biscoff/Speculoos (32%, 181 Votes)
  • Trader Joe's Triple Ginger Snaps (29%, 164 Votes)
  • EL Fudge Sandwich (28%, 154 Votes)
  • Grasshoppers (26%, 144 Votes)
  • Archway Molasses (25%, 141 Votes)
  • Lorna Doone (23%, 127 Votes)
  • McVitties Digestives, milk chocolate (20%, 113 Votes)
  • Pepperidge Farm Nantucket (19%, 106 Votes)
  • Pepperidge Farm Geneva (17%, 94 Votes)
  • Nabisco Marshmallow Pinwheels (16%, 91 Votes)
  • Pepperidge Farm Milanos, orange (15%, 86 Votes)
  • Girl Scout Lemonades / Savannah Smiles (14%, 80 Votes)
  • Entenmann's "holiday" butter with chocolate/jimmies (11%, 60 Votes)
  • Mystic Mints (9%, 53 Votes)
  • CVS Divine Raspberry Cream (4%, 22 Votes)
  • Cameo sandwich cremes (4%, 20 Votes)

Total Voters: 558

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29 Comments »

  • sdpfeiffy says:

    Biscoff *are* the gingerbread-y airplane cookies, no?

  • attica says:

    I always have pumpkin ale on hand (o, does it make your pumpkin bread silky!) and now I HAVETOHAVETOHAVETO get some Chips Ahoy to pair.

    Tough flight all around. I'd checked off seven without counting.

  • Halo says:

    Dudes, MYSTIC MINTS!!!!!!!11

  • Keckler says:

    @attica please report back!

  • Alicia says:

    What sdpfeiffy said. Precisely.

  • KB says:

    I am also pretty sure that Biscoff = airplane cookies.

    http://www.biscoff.com/discover/the-airline-cookie

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    Updated the poll!

  • Kristin 2 the Kristin Boogaloo says:

    What is happening to the most excellent Lorna Doones? This is a travesty of cookie justice, people!

  • Kitty says:

    Finally! Orange flavored Milanos are up for me to vote for, even though I know they have no chance of winning.

    Surprised that Lorna Doones and Grasshoppers aren't doing better. C'mon y'all!

  • KarenS says:

    Culture confusion – read PF as Peek Frean. Sad that there were no Peeks on this ballot

  • Lisa says:

    I've actually chosen a more expensive Delta flight before simply because of those Biscoff cookies. I'm only slightly embarrassed by that. Have any Biscoff fans tried the Biscoff spread?

    http://ow.ly/yL6U5

    Crushed up, spreadable Biscoff cookies. Amazing. The only problem is what to spread it on, but I solve that by just eating it with a spoon. I've thought about spreading it ON a Biscoff cookie, but that might be too much.

  • Elizabeth says:

    Girl Scouts Lemonades and Savannah Smiles are two different cookies. They're both lemon, but Lemonades are a sandwich cookie with shortbread outer layers and lemon icing, while Savannah Smiles are smaller, rather scone-shaped, and dusted with powdered sugar.

    Here's the GS page that shows them both.
    https://www.girlscouts.org/program/gs_cookies/meet_the_cookies.asp

    Lemonades are distinctly more lemony!

  • LizzieKath says:

    I'm hyperventilating over my Pinwheels here. Not to mention the scrumptious Geneva! the McVities digestives I discovered while I was in England, and holy smokes, they barely bother with packaging, those cookies are just waiting to leap into your mouth after the briefest moment in a bath of afternoon tea.

    I'm about to bliss out way too hard here, people.

  • LizzieKath says:

    Oh, and in case anyone is wondering what kind of Pepperidge Farm cookie s/he is today:

    http://www.pepperidgefarm.com/KindOfCookie.aspx

  • Lori says:

    Where is the Pinwheel love, people??

  • MaryAnne says:

    I wish I could just vote for Mystic Mints 5 times.

  • Tyliag says:

    Death to all Pinwheels! They are an abomination of marshmallows and a misappropriation of chocolate. Grrrr.

  • Chris says:

    Yes, come on Lorna Doone! This is the only cookie where I feel no guilt if I eat an entire sleeve!

  • ferretrick says:

    If original Chips Ahoy sticks around I will be pissed. Because I get the job of maintaining the snack bar at work and there's one Nabisco variety pack-Chips Ahoy, Nutter Butters, regular Oreos and Vanilla Oreos. Every other item goes like hot cakes and then I can't GIVE the damn Chips Ahoy away.

  • S says:

    You know, I find the American love for their Girl Scout cookies fascinating. In Canada, our Girl Guides have cookie sales, but it's not a big deal. We also don't have as many kinds – just chocolate sandwich cookies (identical to Fudge-E-Os) and vanilla ones. They added thin mints when I was in high school, but I never got what all the fuss was about with those

    So I'm curious about the US ones, especially the caramel and peanut butter flavors. If those were available up here, I'd definitely have to try them.

  • fmlw says:

    @S, don't try the U.S. Girl Scout cookies…save yourself the pain!

    Or before you know it, you'll be mailing dollars in a cheesy greeting card to your colleague (who isn't actually having a birthday) in the St Louis branch of your company, in the hopes that she'll find a way to get your cookie fix to you without the incredibly suspicious, and frankly anal, Dutch customs and excise people finding out about it.

    Or that's what I heard anyway…

  • Nanc in Ashland says:

    @fmlw you might just have the plot to a Lifetime Movie Channel original movie! A bank inspector investigating suspected money-laundering uncovers an international Girl Scout cookie ring! I would totally watch!

    @MaryAnne, I feel your pain. I feel the same way about my beloved PF Brussels. More for us!

  • Robin in Philly says:

    *sigh*

    I am only sentimental about the Orange Milanos and the Digestive biscuits, personally. Also, I am still in a deep, deep funk over the trouncing of the Jaffa Cakes in the previous flight.

  • Jobiska says:

    I don't think Cameos are made any more, probably because the rest of you have it at the bottom of the poll, heh. It's my 19 year old son's favorite cookie. My budget should probably be *glad* they aren't made any more, since he could snarf down the entire package in a day.

  • S says:

    @fmlw

    I need new commercial cookies in my life. Especially ones that look like the cookie version of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. And it seems to me if I can get Indian spices and Japanese ramen in the supermarkets here in Toronto, I should be able to get American cookies.

  • patricia says:

    @Elizabeth: I was planning to comment to say the same thing! I can only get Savannah Smiles here in Georgia where I live, but they sell Lemonades in Alabama. Every year one of my colleagues imports like five cases, and then rations them out around our office like some twisted dealer. I'd totally vote for the Lemonades but not even close for the Savannah Smiles.

  • Leigh in CO says:

    I would give all five of my votes to sweet, sweet Lorna if I could.

  • Tarn says:

    Looking at these lists and lists of cookies, I'm remembering when I was a kid all "Ooh, mom, I want that one! No, that one! Ooh, that one!" and sometimes she would relent with one or another, which is where all these good childhood cookie memories come from. I think I would fantasize that one of the coolest things about being an adult would be that I could buy any cookies I wanted!

    But I haven't, because being an adult also comes with knowing that any cookies I want will not allow me to fit into any clothes that I want.

    But knowing that I haven't rolled around in piles and piles of Mystic Mints and now it's too late makes me feel like I've let my inner child down.

  • Tisharp says:

    What the heck? How are Pinwheels not at least in the top 5???

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