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Home » Culture and Criticism

The N Cracker AA: Nominations

Submitted by on July 23, 2013 – 7:00 AM120 Comments


It's time for the N Cracker AA – together, we'll choose the best cracker of them all.

You probably know how this works already, but in case you've never been here before: Keckler and I will make a big old list of kinds of crackers, with your help; we'll randomize 'em and put 'em in flights; then we'll write about 'em and you'll fight about 'em and then we'll have a winner. (Check out the introduction to Cinemarch Madness for an idea of how the N Cracker AA will go. No brackets this time.)

A few things to know:

  • not sure what we're doing with "sandwich crackers"; feel free to nominate them
  • graham crackers are out, for the same reason tomatoes are a vegetable — in other words, if it's a "digestive cracker" most people "use as" a cookie, it's out
  • …but Goldfish are in
  • yes, you can nominate different types of the same brand

Three (3) nominations per comment, please. You can second as many as you like, and you can re-comment, but please make an effort to read the thread at least cursorily. Thanks!

Now, my Carr's Cheese Melts and I are going to kick back and see what you come up with. Questions/arguments, let us know! You have 'til Tuesday July 30.

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  • Maru says:

    All right, I'll start with the absolute basics in my life: original Triscuits, Nabisco saltines, and (an oldie but a goodie) Sociables. These are the ones I grew up with and the ones I still use. Come on – Triscuits with Kaukauna swiss almond and salsa!

  • Stella says:

    I am passionate about Cheez-Its. A year into my marraige, I discovered my husband likes Cheese Nips, and I was horrified. HORRIFIED! We had a blind cracker tasting with some of our friends, and I'm happy to report that Cheez-Its were victorious and now are the cheese cracker of choice in our house :)

    (seriously though, we almost never buy crackers because I would eat the entire box in one sitting)

  • Amanda says:

    wheat thins
    better cheddars
    Annie's cheddar bunnies

  • Mrs F says:

    Plain ol' original Triscuits. Plain ol' original Wheat Thins. Plain ol' original Club Crackers. In that order, done and done!

  • BHen says:

    Chicken in a Biskit, Parmesan Goldfish, and Ritz crackers.

  • Lore says:

    Wheat Thins and Carr's Water Crackers are my go-to food crackers, but as far as snack crackers go, I have an odd fascination with Pepperidge Farm's Jingos (especially the lime & sweet chili flavor).

  • Let's go for the somewhat…spooky flavors. And yet so inviting at…particular times which shall go undescribed:
    Chicken in a Biscuit
    White Cheddar Cheez Its
    and the somewhat rare:
    Ak Mak

  • Anne-Cara says:

    Carr's water crackers

  • Melissa says:

    Toasted's Onion Crackers
    Oyster Crackers
    I will also 2nd the Club Crackers nod

  • HLM says:

    It would get iced good and proper due to lack of recognition, but I have to acknowledge Sailor Boy Pilot Bread. Pointless on its own except as a teething biscuit or reminder to kids of what hardtack was, pilot bread soars to undreamed-of heights when topped with a thick smear of butter or Frankencrackered into a PB&J (PB squared, if you like) on a camping trip. It's damned hard to find in the Lower 48, elbowed out of the market by things with "flavor" and "mouth appeal" that can't "be used as caulking paste." Sigh.

  • Lesley says:

    I can't find the name of this cracker, it's in the Carr's Entertainment box and it is the one most like a Ritz/Club cracker. I've no google luck with this one. Does anyone know what I am talking about?

    Oyster crackers

  • Andrea says:

    Stoned Wheat Thins (so MUCH better than regular wheat thins!)
    Town House

    Now I'm hungry!

  • Stephanie says:

    Wheat Thins

  • Stewart says:

    I'd like to see if everyone agrees with me that the Ritz Bits Sandwiches with cheese are perfect, while Ritz Bits Sandwiches with "peanut butter" are revolting.

  • Jen B. says:

    Stoned Wheat Thins. (No, not like that, ya jerks.)

  • attica says:

    Ohhhh, the heaven-with-cheese (or dip!) that is the Red Oval Farms Stoned Wheat Thin. A flavor as study-yet-subtle as this cracker is hard to beat. (As a bonus, it's got bonafides that don't offend the Michael Pollan adherents in my circles.)

    But I like to mix it up with any of the butter-crackers too. A Keebler Club is the go to, mostly because of the rectangular shape.

  • Jennifer M. says:

    Cheez Its (Original)
    Triscuits (Original)
    Captain's Wafers

  • CJ says:

    @BHen! Yes!! Chicken in a Biskit!! (I also love Parmesan Goldfish!)

    My nominees since BHen took two of mine.

    Saltines (orignal)- my go to sick food
    Goldfish (regular)
    Townhouse – so buttery

    can't wait to vote!

  • Jenn says:

    Cheddar Goldfish
    Pretzel Goldfish
    Plain ol' Ritz (mmmm, buttery Ritz crackers. So crumbly and buttery. Mmmm, butter)

  • Holly F. says:

    Seconding the Chicken in a Biskit and Keebler Club Originals, then adding a questionable matzah (unleavened bread that's crackery?).

  • Cora says:

    Wasa light rye (delicious with butter — yes, I'm part Basselope), just because it's fun to jump up and intone "WAH-SAH" like a Jawa when you're hungry; and Town House Flipits pretzel crackers.

  • Lindsay says:

    Better chedders
    Cracked black pepper triscuit
    Cheddar goldfish

  • Mmm, Ritz /w peanut butter, enrobed in chocolate…

  • Lindsay says:

    Oh, man, how'd I miss Cheezits?? Can I replace cheddar goldfish with original Cheeits? I'm guessing you're not counting numbers at all yet, but somehow it felt 'wrong' to not mention my favorite cracker – the cracker that is always in my cupboard – the humble Cheezit…

  • Lis says:

    Triscuits, Carr's Water crackers with black pepper, and those swiss cheese crackers that the company who makes Chicken in a Biscuit stopped making and ruined my world.

  • Jen says:

    Triscuits – Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil (or GTFO).

  • Teri says:

    Apparently I'm Sister Surprise's secret evil twin, because:

    Cheez-its! (Mozzarella are where it's AT, but I've only had them once)
    Chicken in a Biskit!
    Ak Mak!

    Also Cracked Pepper Triscuits, because they are Satan's handiwork.

  • Nick says:

    Ka-Me wasabi rice crackers
    And I second (or third, fourth, etc.) cheddar Goldfish

  • tita says:

    I've got to toss in a couple of gluten-free nominations.
    Mary's Organic Crackers are awesome, especially the Black Pepper variety. (
    And I love love LOVE the SuperSlim Rice Crisps in Black Sesame. Deliciously salty and satisfying.

  • Melissa says:

    @Lesley I think you are talking about the Toasted's Buttercrisp crackers that come in the entertainment pack.

  • scout1222 says:

    Raincoast crisps

    Spread some buttery cheese on that bastige and thank me. Or, thank my friends who introduced me to such goodness.

  • Louise says:

    Toll House Mediterranean Herb Pita Crackers (they taste like pizza!)
    Pizza Goldfish
    Premium Saltine Minis (I don't why they taste better than regular sized saltines, but they do)

  • Andrea says:

    Seconding or thirding black pepper triscuits.
    Food Should Be Good Sea Salt Brown Rice Crackers — healthy and amazingly delicious.

  • Dsayko says:

    Triscuits (the original)
    Goldfish (the original)
    Club (multi-grain)

    We're going to do cheese next, right?

  • c8h10n4o2 says:

    Original Triscuits
    Trader Joe's Cheddar Rockets (Beat Goldfish's asses because they actually taste like real cheddar)
    Brown Rice Triscuits (my new crack)

  • Tarn says:

    Ooh, scout, those Raincoast Crisps with cranberry are indeed awesome. Spread some goat cheese on those mofos and nom nom nom hipster goodness.

    But my nominations are a little more traditional:

    Tomato-basil Triscuits (the Triscuit selection at the market these days is overwhelming…there could probably be an entire N-Triscuit-AA.)

    Ritz (topped with my husband's cedar plank mustard salmon…oh mah gah)

    Chicken in a Biskit.

  • Leigh in CO says:

    This is likely not valid, but I distinguish between Zesta and Nabisco saltines. Call me crazy, perhaps, but Zesta really is the better saltine.

  • Jen S 1.0 says:

    My husband's loyalty is to Toll House plain crackers, and they are excellent with cheese or dipping in the leftover welsh rarebit sauce. Mmmm. I know what my afternoon snack is.

  • jennie says:

    Hope you have these in the USA because VINTA by Dare is the best cracker on earth. Buttery and crisp with seeds. Love them. Also Bretons are good and French onion crackers are a childhood fave.

  • S says:

    Tam Tams.

  • Ian Fay says:

    Cheez-its (honorable mention to Goldfish, but Cheez-its are a little saltier)

    Ritz (perfect all-around cracker for spread, also good plain)

    Saltines (backup for most spreads, also for sickness)

  • LaSalleUGirl says:

    I second and third pretty much everything everyone has already nominated, and I would add these two:

    Carr's Rosemary Crackers
    Nairn's Oatcakes

  • Kitty says:

    These nominations are in honor of my mother who taught me everything I know about being a cracker connoisseur. These were her 3 faves.

    RyKrisp Sesame Rye Crackers – So good. A unique saltiness to them that can't be found in other crackers.

    Keebler Club Crackers: Buttery Garlic Flavor – These are the best you guys! But you rarely find them in grocery stores. I've been known to clear out the shelves when I find them being sold.

    Keebler Townhouse "Flipsides" Pretzel Crackers – I love the texture and taste of these crackers, but beware if they get even a little bit stale they're awful.

  • Ak-Mak! All other crackers die die die!

  • Just spent my lunch break running to Target to buy a box of Chicken in a Biskit. . .I blame The Nation if I eat them all before I leave the office today!

  • nsfinch says:

    If it were up to me, Pepperidge Farm Harvest Wheat crackers would win the whole thing:

    I encourage all the readers to try them out before the voting begins—I think you'll cross over to my way of thinking!

  • Kay says:

    Chikin in a Biscuit

    Vinta (by Dare)

    Ak-Mak (deeeelicious wheat crackers made with butter)

    Sadly I can eat none of these now, due to Celiac's, but damn they're still my favorite.

  • Angharad says:

    Back to Nature Sunflower Basil (ridiculous with goat cheese)

    Back to Nature Poppy Thyme

    Those Pepperidge Farms butterfly crackers.

  • kid snarly says:

    Another vote for ak-mak here. I flirt with other crackers but they are the ones I always come back to.

    Currently I am flirting with Trader Joe's Pita Bites.

    And I forget the name, because you do not need to know the name they are so obvious looking, but what are the crackers that are the big wheel? They are like a Wasa but they are a giant (more than a foot across) round cracker with a hole in the middle in a red and blue paper wrap. Well, if no one knows what they are I throw my third nom to the Carr's because they are a good background cracker if you really want to feature the cheese.

  • Brady says:

    I never realized before that I had so many opinions on crackers.

    Saltines – The original are classics and deserve to go far, but I highly recommend the multi-grain variety, my new go-to sick food.

    Triscuits – I used to be a Wheat Thins guy and then I went on a diet and realized that Wheat Thins, while delicious, are kind of not that great for you and even regular Triscuits are just super dependable.

    Keebler Club Crackers – I was trying to think of a non-traditional third choice, but nothing could beat the world's greatest cracker for cheese.

    I'm sorry Melba Toasts. Better luck next time.

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