Recent Calendar Entries Reveal Synapses Burnt Beyond Repair
Hobey V-E-T / I realized yesterday that I spell out the word "vet" even when typing it, lest His Orange Eminence figure out what's going on from the acoustics of the laptop keys and disappear. A glance back at similar entries reveals that I have done this for at least a year now.
I suppose it's not overly cautious if it's also not entirely conscious, but consider this: not only the vet's last name spoken aloud but also any words that rhyme with it now occasion a prompt, Foley-designed departure for parts sub-furniture. "I'd like to go a shade darker." (Shhh-tzut!) "Who left the cap off this marker?" (Vvvvvip!) "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!" (Hrrr…) "…DOCTOR PARKER!" (…rrrump!) "Jesus, Hobey."
He's got two teeth, he's losing his eyesight, and he's on a ridonkadonk Zsa Zsa diet for the irritable-bowel condition he's apparently developed…but he will have me know that he is shrewd, and attention must be paid.
Potatoes / I store potatoes in a cool, dark cupboard, as I am supposed to. Once the door of said cupboard has closed upon them, the potatoes leave my mind, not to return until I need the slicing blade of the food processor stored beside them, by which time an inbred cousin of the vodka process is well underway. If I don't plan to eat them the day I buy them, I have to put them on the calendar.
DVR Hawaii Five-0 / "I can't believe they're remaking that piece of sh– wait, Scott Caan is in it?!"
While I'm up: does anyone else constantly call Daniel Dae Kim "Daniel Dae Lewis" by mistake?
Bingo, goddammit! / Dovetails nicely with the senility theme, I guess, but I don't know what made me so testy. I think I had to reschedule it, actually, and I had really wanted to go the last time? But it's…bingo, so I could maybe calm down a little bit?
Do that thing for the stoop sale / I considered engaging a forensic gerontologist to figure out what the eff I meant by that. Hey, self: the list of "things" related to the stoop sale, single-spaced, stretches to Mamaroneck. Setting up the color-coded-sticker system, who's baking cookies and should we make them free, sell the base and the shade separately, what kind of batteries does that Dictaphone take, do you remember what you paid for that vintage sweater, no you have the folding table, how much change do we need — WHICH THING, BUNTING?
Still haven't remembered which thing. Did add a related thing based on trying to figure it out, though…
Find folding table / Seriously: where is that handy bastard? It's not like we live in San Simeon; it can't hide forever.
…Hmm. Maybe it thinks that I plan to sell it at the S-T-O-O-P S-A-L-E. (Vvvrroop!) …Well, shit.
Less fuglo / Actually a to-do-list item, but at least I knew what that one meant: "Exchange the hideous 'spearmint' shower-curtain rings purchased yesterday at the dollar store for something in a slightly less anti-retinal 'aubergine.'" It's not even for a shower curtain. Don't ask.
DVR Real World/Road Rules Challenge / CT is back, what do you want from me. (Frrrrnt!) …Very funny, Hobey.
Tags: Daniel Dae Kim Daniel Day-Lewis food orange cats RW/RR Challenge Scott Caan TV Zsa Zsa Gabor