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The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Home » The Vine

The Vine: February 2, 2007

Submitted by on February 2, 2007 – 11:26 AMNo Comment

Dear Sars,

My boyfriend’s apartment has a fairly serious case of bedbugs. He’s tried a bunch of things to get rid of them (he got an airproof mattress cover and has done a complete, deep clean of the apartment and his cat several times), but none have worked for more than a day or two. He also just bought this dust with an applicator over the internet (I think it’s called drione dust, but I may be wrong) that you put in all the cracks that bedbugs live in. A final piece of information — not only are his floors hardwood, they are not varnished, and the entire apartment floor has tiny cracks in between all the boards.

So, I have two general questions. Given that both of us are completely broke and don’t have the money to pay for a hotel room if we needed an exterminator to come and drop a bomb, let alone the exterminator himself (and especially given that with bedbugs, apparently you need to get the exterminator to come several times before it takes), is there a way that you or your readers would suggest to get rid of these guys? He hasn’t had time to apply the drione dust yet; is there anything that you suggest we should do in conjunction with that when it happens? Does the cat (he’s long-haired) make a difference?

The next question is this: how do I keep the bedbugs from getting over to my house? They travel really easily, and I have a huge house and a bunch of roommates and this could just go so, so wrong. So far, miraculously, they haven’t gotten there, but I live in fear. Since he’s had the bedbugs for months and hasn’t been able to get rid of them, not going to his place until they’re gone could mean that I never get to go to his place, so I’m looking for other options.

Thanks,
Saying “sleep tight” just doesn’t sound the same anymore

Dear Sleep,

Every now and then, the local press does a bedbug news cycle and dredges up all the horror stories about people who had to shave their entire bodies from tip to toe and move to Maine to get rid of the little bastards. Evidently New York City has a really persistent species, but I have avoided them thus far (knock wood), and don’t know anyone who’s had to deal with them.

Readers, we need ways to get rid of and/or quarantine bedbugs. Email subject line: “bedbugs.”

Sars, since your readers are so great at finding long-lost book titles, here’s one that’s currently stumping me. I read it no later than 1990 and it’s a teen (tween?) book.

There’s a teenager, and she’s either very pale or actually an albino. The only part I can clearly remember is that she dresses up (for Halloween I think) in her mother’s old cheerleading costume. She puts on flesh-colored make-up, colored contacts, et cetera so she looks “normal” instead of so white. She thinks this is her chance to finally “fit in” but it doesn’t go so well.

I thought it was Silver by Norma Fox Mazer, but the description on Amazon.com sounds more like “wrong-side-of-the-tracks teen love story” than “wrong-side-of-the-tracks teen love story and by the way she’s albino, too.”

Any thoughts? I’d like to recreate the book collection I had when I was younger and there’s a few I can’t seem to find. (Thankfully I never lost my copy of Season of Ponies by Zilpha Keatley Snyder.)

Truly yours,
Bookworm

Dear Worm,

The only book I can think of that’s even close to that is The Girl With the Silver Eyes, but really, the only similarity is the word “silver.”

Readers, any thoughts? Email subject line: “albino book.”

Hello Sars,

I’m wondering if you or your readers might be in a position to help me whittle down my morning-prep time to 15 minutes or less by completely eliminating the need to iron.

Twice a year, at the two key Nordstrom sales for men, my husband buys several button-down shirts in the Nordstrom “Smartcare” line. With these semi-annual forays to the mall, conducted in half-hour stints, his shopping is essentially done for the year. Frankly, I’m jealous (albeit in a good way). Not only are his shirts perfectly presentable at the office and really good quality, they are also “layerable,” washable/dryable, and do not require ironing. Unfortunately, Nordstrom doesn’t make this line of shirts, pants, et cetera for women; and, even though I can get past the buttons being on the wrong side, the men’s cut is just too big and baggy for me.

Do you (or your readers) happen to know of an affordable line (i.e., with a variety of colors/designs) of Smartcare-equivalent button-down shirts for women? It could really simplify my mornings, help me save on the dry-cleaning bills, and allow me to focus my limited tolerance for clothes shopping on shoes — where it really matters!

Thanks in advance,
No need for starch

Dear Starch,

My solution to this sort of problem is to just wear the shit wrinkled, but failing that (heh), you might try Lands’ End’s No Iron Cotton Pinpoint Shirt — you can wash and dry it normally, it doesn’t need ironing, it’s reasonably priced, and you have a range of options in terms of the fit (petite, tall, et cetera).

Anyone else got similar shirt suggestions? Email subject line: “no-iron shirts.”

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