The Vine: Turkember 26, 2008
Hey Sarah,
Here’s a doozy for you.
I am the unofficial lead secretary in a smallish office — unofficial because I’m on the same level as the other secretaries, it’s just that I’m the only one who isn’t too chicken to speak to management.There are about a dozen secretaries on our hallway, all of whom are women except one.There are two single-stall women’s bathrooms on the hall and one single-stall men’s bathroom.
The dude is not the issue — he handles his what-have-you in the men’s bathroom without incident.
One of the women (Smelly Poo Sue) stinks up the bathroom on a regular basis; once, twice, sometimes even three times a day.It’s not a hygiene issue and she is a fantastic employee — she just has very smelly poo.Given the nature of the single-stall bathrooms, it has definitely known to all on the hallway that it is this particular woman who is the offender.
I really could not possibly give less of a damn about this.I mean, Jesus — it’s a bathroom and people aren’t baking cookies in there.It’s the other secretaries that are in a tizzy.
It started about two months ago with one of women coughing and gagging dramatically after entering the bathroom a few minutes after SPS and the other women cackling like it was the funniest thing ever.The gagger later sent me an email requesting a formal complaint be made about SPS.
I posted annoyingly cutesy signs inside all of the bathroom stalls reminding the staff to be considerate and use the deodorizing / disinfecting spray after every visit.I figured that would do the trick — I wasn’t targeting anyone in particular and yet it would get the message across.
But not so much.SPS did not take the hint and continued smelling up the joint.The secretaries became more and more melodramatic about entering the bathroom, shouting, “I can’t!I just can’t!” while stomping back to their desks in tears.So I called a meeting.Got everyone together to discuss other things and included a reiteration of the sign’s message — “Hey you guys, please use the spray.The end.”
Not wanting to allow things to get any more out of control than they already were, I spoke to my managers.He was embarrassed and flummoxed and suggested that I contact HR.I sent an email to our HR people (who are headquartered out of state) to give them a heads-up as well as seek their advice.
They have not had to deal with an issue like that before — hygiene-related issues are a lot more cut and dry because generally speaking there are policies in employee manuals stating that staff have to come to work clean and neat.SPS is both of these. Again, it’s just the poo.
I suppose I stumped them because they told me that they had no idea what to do and that in their opinion, I’d done all I could.They also made it a point to say that I should not pull SPS aside since it could be viewed as some brand of harassment, particularly if she has some sort of digestive disorder.
The other women then began purposely excluding SPS from lunch and other off-site activities.After I gave them a brief talking-to they begrudgingly let SPS back into the group.But the problem is far from resolved, since the bathroom entrance and exit dramatics continue.
My job is great aside from this weirdness.I don’t want to lose my job over demanding a courtesy flush or telling these other women to shut the fuck up and use the other damn bathroom already.I don’t know what to do aside from hand this back to the manager and HR to insist that they deal with it.Any other ideas?
Apparently I’m Also The Unofficial Poo Police
Dear Poolice,
You shouldn’t have to deal with this — because there shouldn’t be a “this” in the first damn place.As you pointed out, it’s a bathroom; if you want it to smell like cookies, install an oven, but otherwise, your co-workers need to get a life, and some manners, pronto.It’s just the smell of poo, and their histrionic, and rude, reaction to it has probably not gone unnoticed by SPS.
I can understand how you might feel obligated to address the situation, both in your unofficial role as lead secretary and because the whole thing is so childish and unnecessary that you want it stopped.But if these drama queens will make a tearful stink (no pun intended) over the smell, then exclude SPS from lunch, your pointing out to them that the drama-queenery is making them look like the assholes isn’t going to get you very far.And you really shouldn’t mention it to SPS, who, if she’s pooing three or more times a day, probably does have a medical condition, so it’s a subject best broached delicately, and by HR, not you.
Tell HR that you want it handled: you want SPS told to use the spray; and you want the Melodrama Club told in no uncertain terms to shut the fuck up about the smell, behave politely to SPS, and do their jobs instead of wasting your and HR’s time forcing you to mediate this.Then tell HR that you understand if that isn’t possible, but regardless, you recuse yourself from dealing with it; it’s not in your job description and you don’t want to hear about it anymore.If one of the other secretaries has a complaint, you will furnish her with an HR contact and tell her to use it; if SPS is still getting excluded from outings, you feel sorry for her, but you will not intercede.You have work to do, this isn’t it, and HR can do as they see fit, but you can’t help them.
Get permission to pass the buck, and to tell everyone on-site to tell HR and not you.
Hi Sars,
I have a cat question on which I’m hoping to get your input. My husband and I were seriously considering adopting a cat from our local humane society. However, yesterday we discovered that they make people adopting cats sign a contract saying that they will not have the cat declawed.
I was really surprised by this — I know that some private rescue groups require this kind of thing, but I wasn’t expecting it from the county humane society. The two cats we currently have are declawed, and since we can’t promise that we won’t have the new one declawed as well, we’ve given up on the cat we were considering. (And when I talk about declawing, I mean front declawing.)
I suppose the solution for us is to either find a very laid-back cat who mostly keeps his or her claws sheathed, to adopt a cat who’s already been declawed, or to adopt a cat from someplace that won’t require us to promise that we won’t have the cat declawed.
But, I’m wondering, what is your perspective on the declawing issue? Growing up, the cats my family had were always declawed, and, again, both of our current cats are declawed, and they seem to do just fine. I understand that we’re having the cat altered, and scratching, for cats, is a natural thing to do. This is not a furniture issue at all. Instead, it’s a personal, “I don’t want to end up scratched and bloody every time I interact with the cat” issue. For example, the cat we were considering at the humane society is very playful, which we liked, but I, my husband, and my sister all ended up with bloody scratches all over our hands (but it wasn’t malicious at all on the cat’s part — she was very sweet and purr-y).
On the other hand, I picked up another cat and was playing a bit with him, and I couldn’t even tell if he was already declawed or not (he’s not). I’m also somewhat concerned about bringing a cat with claws into a home with our declawed cats.
Thanks!
A.S.
Dear A.S.,
I am against declawing.It’s an invasive procedure; the solution is out of proportion to the problem it’s supposed to solve; and unless you plan to de-tooth your new cat also, well, you know, the average cat is kind of pointy.It’s a carnivore: it has sharp teeth and it pounces on shit.That’s how nature designed it.
The average baby is kind of grabby.Yanks on necklaces, yanks on boobs, yanks on all four shiny yummy-looking earrings in my left ear.You want me to cut the baby’s hand off because of that?Or should I wear shorter earrings with quick-release catches…or learn to intercept a little grabby hand…or maybe just tolerate the occasional yank, because it’s a baby and it’s not that big of a deal?
I don’t mean to suggest that you want to amputate baby hands, but honestly, a cat scratch now and then just isn’t that big of a deal, and you have so many alternatives to declawing, I just don’t think you can justify it by saying you don’t want any ouchies when you play with the cat.(And see above re: biting.)You can get those Soft Paws claw tips things to put over the cat’s claws; you can play with the cat using toys that have a handle or a long string so your hand isn’t endangered; you can adopt a cat who’s already declawed; you can trust your current cats to adapt (I see seven fights a day, and have for eight years, and maybe three of them got decided with the front paws — it’s all back-feet pedaling and neck-nipping).
Getting a cat fixed is one thing; it prevents overpopulation and the resulting starvation, as well as the more cosmetic annoyances like spraying.It’s for the cat’s benefit.Nothing about declawing benefits the cat, and if your declawed cat gets out, gets scared or in a fight, and tries to run up a tree?Neh eh.
I mean…it’s a scratch.The cat isn’t shooting at you.Yeah, it stings for ten minutes; you’ll get over it.Do not declaw; it’s selfish.
Hi Sars,
This is completely embarrassing and really, really TMI, but I really do need some help (well, recommendations, anyway). I suppose I could go to a gynecologist or a dermatologist, but I spend enough on medical bills already and I just can’t afford an additional consultation fee for something that’s…well, cosmetic. (But still important.) I read the Vine a lot and you and your readers are always awesome and helpful, so…here I am.
OK, here’s the deal. I’m Indian (from India, not Native American) and I have the body that goes with that — specifically, the body hair. I deal with it by waxing, except for one place — down there. It hasn’t been an issue, but now I want to do something about it.
I don’t want to wax my pubic hair off, nor do I want to shave. I’ve tried shaving and didn’t really like it, ditto with trimming. The problem is because the hair is so thick, it grows back really spiky and, well, prickly. What I really want to do is just trim regularly and keep it under control and hygienic, but in a way that doesn’t leave me itchy and uncomfy.
Any ideas about how I should go about this little grooming ritual? Or maybe your readers could help?
Thanks so much!
Sorry for the overshare
Dear Overshares Are Our Specialty,
Beard trimmer, my friend.Get the kind with the attachments that let you choose how long you’d like to leave the…”beard,” and then you can straighten up down there without fear of nicking yourself, itchy ingrowns, or any of that.It takes like two minutes, and you can make a mental note to address the topiary each month after you’re done your period (or more often, if you like).
You might like this Wahl model, but pretty much any of the ones at the drugstore will do the trick.
Tags: cats health and beauty workplace
And this is why you are my favorite advice columnist ever.
I will never understand the people who get upset by poo. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll give my brothers or sister shit (heh) about a stink bomb left in the bathroom, but that’s sibling assholery (again, heh.) I don’t love the smell of it, but, come on, everyone poops. That is enough of a truism that there is a book with that title.
Do the women expect SPS not to poop or to run to a local Starbucks every time she has to go? She’s nice and works hard and has good personal hygiene, and they exclude her from lunch because she has the audacity to have bodily functions. Amazing.
I really have nothing constructive to add, but I can NOT understand people who don’t seem to realize that toilets are for pooping in! That’s like what they were invented for!
Why is that so hard for people to understand?
Once, I even got a through-the-stall-door “a courtesy flush would be nice!” and I wasn’t even doing ANYTHING that would require any flushing at all. I was sitting there (with my pants UP) texting on my phone. LMAO
So, when my break was over, I went in and told mrs.poopolice to mind her own and that it was unnessesary anyway.
It didn’t help.
Gah! Some people!
@A.S. – In your position, if you decide you can’t deal with a cat that has its front claws, I would look to adopt a cat that has already been declawed. But if you can’t find one, I would encourage you to go ahead and adopt anyway and not declaw.
I had my girls declawed when they were kittens, because my parents had done it with our family cats and it was all I really knew to do. The instant they came home, I regretted it, and it’s still my biggest regret as far as the cats go, by a long shot. They were in pain; their poor little paws were all mummy-wrapped in bandages; when they tried to walk, they got confused at the pain and gauze and tried to shake their feet to ‘fix’ them.
In addition, I live in terror of exactly what Sars mentioned – that someday, they will get out and not be able to find their way home, and have to fend for themselves without front claws. I’m even wondering, if I were to move in with my boyfriend, what the hell would we do, because his cats are allowed outside and mine can never be. Meanwhile, his cats have claws and I’m around them all the time and it’s not an issue. I would take seven years of scratches in a split second if it meant I could undo the declawing. Since I can’t do that, I’m going to have to settle for a heaping helping of regret and never, ever doing it again. I can adapt to claws.
If you can find a cat in need of a home that’s already declawed, then problem solved, but I think it would be a shame if an otherwise wonderful cat was not given the home he or she deserved over this issue.
THANK YOU for saying what you have about declawing. I can’t do it without getting rude.
I have five cats. They have their claws. We have a claw-clipping party once a week or so. I also put in the time and effort to train them where to scratch. (No scratching posts of wood or fabric or carpet, lots of treats and praise and games around the sisal and cardboard scratching posts and boxes and stuff). None of my furniture has any scratch marks (other than incidental ones due to sneak attacks.)
Having watched my cats delicately picking up things with their claws and toes, I can’t imagine wanting to rob them of this utility. (even when they learned to open doors that I wanted to keep closed.)
A thought for the Poo Police – the bathroom at my employer’s office has a device mounted high up on the wall that dispenses a squirt of deodorizer every five minutes or so – it’s on an automatic timer. You can set the timer for whatever interval is most appropriate for your office needs. It uses a regular spray-can of deodorizer and I think a AA battery. They use the “industrial cleaning supply” brand of deodorant, so it’s never a cloying or choking scent, as so often happens with the regular you-spray deodorizers – it always smells fresh and clean.
here’s a link to one that’s advertised for pet owners:
http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=3531
Google “automatic aerosol dispenser” and you should find plenty of options. The machines are fairly cheap, although you’d probably start going through a lot of air freshener.
@A.S.:
Soft Claws!!!! http://www.softclaws.com/
They really, really work. I have a cat who is destructive to the EXTREME with her claws- she is 100% training resistant, won’t use a scratching post or pad, and even with her claws trimmed as short as possible without cutting the quick, has destroyed furniture. My husband told me I had to find a solution or keep her in the basement at night (the time when she likes to claw at things). I’ve had NO problems since I put them on. I do think some cats really hate them, but once they were on, she didn’t even groom herself much, she genuinely doesn’t seem to care. I do recommend getting the colored ones, though, because it’s hard to tell when the clear ones fall off.
I’m with you–no declawing. I used to work for a vet, and I’ve seen it done. Let’s just say an instrument akin to bolt cutters is used, and the cats wake up screaming in pain. Not ever going to happen to my little furry roommates. I’ll live with the scratches, on me and my furniture.
@Poolice – Definitely take Sars’ advice and throw this ball back into HR’s court and be firm that they are the ones who should handle the situation. It does not matter that HR is based out-of-state, this is their job. Sounds to me like SPS, as you both suggested, probably does have some sort of digestive disorder such as IBS and that makes your coworkers’ behaviour doubly insensitive and childish.
Have HR confirm who the group should contact if they have an issue and also be prepared to provide SPS with that phone number, because if she starts to feel bothered by their behaviour she may very well want to file a complaint with HR against these asshats herself. At best, their openly obnoxious behaviour sounds apallingly immature and at worst it’s a form of workplace harassment. I feel for you that you ended up in the unfortunate position of having to deal with a bunch of “grown-ups” who sound like they’d be better off going back to junior high.
Remington also makes a trimmer specifically for…ahem…lady beards (http://www.remington-products.com/womens/bikini.htm). It may only be “for the ladies” insofar as it’s pink, but I use it and it has never caused anything traumatic to happen to my lady bits, so that’s good.
Re: Poolice- I just wanted to say I’m sorry that you have to work with just a bunch of douchebag drama queens. Yikes. I’d be asking them all why they can’t hold their breath as they walk in the bathroom, spray the spray and shut the hell up. And am I understanding that there are two separate women’s bathrooms? Why can’t the just use the non-stinky one if they are that much of wilting flowers?
Wow, clearly these women never grew up with brothers. My older brother used to hold me down and fart on me- you learn to hold your breath for a long time with that kind of childhood. Hee! I mean, crying????? How do they think SPS feels about it? She has to live with it. Just, ugh. I’d have been yelling at all of them to STFU about it a long time ago. Poolice clearly has more restraint and patience.
I’m just glad that I work with nearly all guys. They may be proud of their foul poo, but no one cries about it. Well, I guess I end up tearing up from the smell that rolls out of their bathroom all the way into the hall, but we got smart and installed one of those automatic sprayers that you can set to every 9, 18, 30 minutes or whatever. Maybe that’s a solution for Poolice. It might be worth it just to shut everyone up about it.
I worked as a vet tech and—well, I’d never declawed any of my cats before that, but now that I’ve seen it done, I’m also going to be super-boring in the comments section of Sars’ blog about it.
“Declawing” is the surgical removal of the first joints of a cat’s toes. It is, to misuse a catchphrase, kind of a big deal. In short, please don’t. Your cat would thank you for it, and so would the vet tech who’d have to clean the mutilated cat toe parts out of the dryer lint trap after doing the surgery laundry.
Re. A.S.’s question: I’ve read, and experienced, that declawed cats bite more. And my own cat, declawed for 15 years (I was only 14 when we got him and my mom insisted), gets angry and frustrated when I play with him and he wants to be left alone. He’ll whap at me, but because it doesn’t hurt, I don’t stop bothering him, so he winds up getting angry and biting me very, very hard.
For Overshare: I too have heavy body hair, and lots of extra pubic hair. I also have incredibly sensitive skin: I get rashes within hours of getting waxed, depilating, or shaving (even if I use medicated creams right away). The thing I’ve wound up doing is plucking. It takes a long time when you first do it – it takes me three hours if I have to begin essentially from scratch! – so I do it in front of a movie or episodes of The Office, or over a period of days. It’s easy to maintain, far less painful than waxing, and creates almost no rash, especially if you follow your plucking sessions with a medicated cream, like BikiniZone, available at any drugstore in the shaving aisle.
I should probably mention that I only pluck hairs that show outside my pantyline; I’ve never tried anything that would involve plucking hairs on the mons veneris.
@ A.S. Regular claw trimming really helps out with having a non-declawed cat (actually, it drives me crazy that many declawed owning cat people never trim back feet and I end up with scratches anyway. Hello, back feet, still sharp!). My 19 1/2 year old cat got his claws trimmed all his life and while there were people (wll, usually just me) scratching incidents, they greatly diminished propotional to his age (kittens are scratchy and young ones until they learn that hands and arms are not toys). He was accidently scratchy when a new claw had sloughed off and we hadn’t trimmed it yet or there was a lap miss incident or something, but that was more rare (or a sweater snag). Now, claw trimming is not always easy depending on the cat (my cat was pretty laid bad, but sometimes we only got one foot done at a time depending on his mood), but its worth getting a cat used to if you possibly can (which is to say, usually a younger cat is easier, but don’t discount an older guy). Sometimes you just need to trim one or two claws at a time if you just catch the sharp ones.
As far as the clawed and declawed together…trust me, its cat bites that you have to worry about, not the clawing. Cat bites are the things requiring vet trips (and those lovely plastic victorian collars). But maybe other people can weigh in better about mixing claws and no claws together as I don’t have personal experience on that one.
Excellentiest Vine compilation EVAR.
@Overshare – they also make trimmers specifically for girlbit areas – they are a bit smaller than a beard trimmer, which is helpful in such an enclosed space. I have a Remington (I…can’t believe I just typed that on the internet), which I’m pretty sure I got at Target. Once a month seems to keep everything neat.
For shaving the hair down there real close, get yourself a “Cleancut”. It’s a shaver manufactured in Japan & it cuts right down to the skin, without nicking. I usually use a bread trimmer, and then the Cleancut. It costs $50, but it’s totally worth it.
The best part? The website that sells it is beavershaver.com
Perhaps A.S. would be better off with a goldfish.
To A.S., I used to have two cats — one declawed (by the previous owner) and one with friggin’ razor claws. They chased each other all over the place, basically used each other for mouse-killing practice and there was no problem at all.
Clawless Cat merely pinned Clawed Cat’s head down and used her back paws to turn Clawed Cat into a punching bag.
They never really hurt each other and it was entertaining as hell.
Unofficial Poo Police- two words– air purifier . It works in my cats’ litter box room, it should work in a single stall bathroom (I own the consumer reports highly rated Honeywell one). Gah, it is definitely annoying to have to use a stinky bathroom, but seriously work people, grow up!
Overshare: Remington has actual bikini trimmers designed for women (http://www.remington-products.com/womens/bikini.htm). I don’t have that, but I do have an electric razor from Remington (I couldn’t find a link — maybe they don’t make them anymore?) that has interchangeable heads: One is a trimmer for the middle of the bikini area, one’s a electric razor to use on the “outside” of the bikini area for a closer shave, and also a “personal groomer” that I never use.
It’s the razor that is *pictured* in the banner when you hit “personal groomer” on that site, but the only personal groomer they seem to have is for men.
I got mine at a drugstore, I think, or maybe Target.
I, too, am against declawing. I have two cats and I solve the sharp claws issue by trimming them regularly. You can get claw trimmers at any pet supply store, and although it is a bit of a pain (one cat is reasonably well-behaved when being clipped, the other is a gigantic pain in the behind), it is completely worth it. Your vet can show you how to trim claws if you don’t know how. I can tell you right now that while I get some raised scratches every once in a while, I have never been bloodied by either cat.
Yeah, not a fan of declawing. I did have it done to my cats over a decade ago. But after learning more about it I just can’t.
It really isn’t that big of a deal to trim the claws once in a while and keep the cats relatively harmless. They’re happy, you’re happy, etc. Aside from that, it’s really best to raise your cats not to treat your hands and flesh as toys whether they have claws or not. It leaves them with a lot of confusion over what is safe play or not.
I have 5 cats now. All of them have all their claws. When they get nasty sharp, I trim them. The cats complain for all of 5 minutes and then get over it. My furniture is fine, they don’t hurt each other, and I very rarely have any claw injuries myself. It’s completely doable. There’s no reason to subject the cats to a painful cruel procedure just to make life convenient for the human. That’s my POV anyway! :)
I tend to think that anyone who can’t handle a few scratches, on themselves or on furniture, should not own cats, period. Declawing isn’t just removing their fingernails–which in and of itself does not sound pleasant; it’s amputating the entire finger. If you have to amputate your pets’ digits in order to be able to live with them, then you are not the right person for them. Also, what Sars said about them having nowhere safe to go if they get out and a dog (or worse, if you’re out in the country) gets after them.
I trim my cat’s claws every two weeks. I started out doing it every time she scratched me just to be pissy (as opposed to play or just accidental scratching, which happens), and frankly, the first time I did it I was terrified and went into combat well-padded. But she shocked me by settling down and letting me do it without much of a fight–just squirming and loud complaining. After a few times of that, she got the hint and stopped scratching out of petulance. But now it happens regularly regardless ever since my dog took a sharp claw in the eyeball (from a different cat, but better safe than sorry), and she handles it fine.
And if you’re uncomfortable about trimming them yourself (if you do, just be sure not to do it too short), most vets’ll do it for about ten bucks. Problem solved, and everybody’s happy (and still has all their parts intact).
I work at a vet, too, and while we make the process as humane and painless as possible, declawing is still technically an amputation of the first digit of the toe. I say, buy a scratching post & a nail trimmer, and learn to live with the occasional scratch.
Another vote for the softpaws – when we moved back in with my mother (which was no picnic anyways, thanks crappy ass job market!) one of my cats began scratching EVERYTHING – couches, me, bedding, me, new carpet, me, stairs… you get the idea. Mom said declaw her or she goes. I bought the soft paws instead. Getting them on her is not exactly the highlight of my week, but once they’re on, its done, and she can no longer put holes in the carpet.
I refuse to declaw, but this is a totally viable option. They last for a long time (up to 6 weeks depending on how often your cat sheds his/her claws), and they were relatively inexpensive.
Not a fan of declawing either. And to chime in on the declawed cats bite more comment: I had a cat who we declawed because “that’s just what people do”(and the vet absolutely mutilated her sweet little paws). She would bite hard. I still have scars from it. I loved her so much but she could tear flesh out of your arm. After she passed away, and I thought about getting another cat I swore I would never declaw another cat.
I now have 2 cats, both with their claws. I’ve had them since they were babies, and I started clipping their nails when I first got them. They are so used to it now that they just lay there and allow me to do it. And honestly, now that they are a little older, I can’t remember the last time I got scratched. They really don’t use their claws very often, on me or each other. It takes a little more patience and training and they still claw at furniture sometimes, but I think it’s worth it to have a cat with a complete set of toes.
How sad that these womens’ entertainment and drama centers around someone else’s shit. My gods, people, get some lives. And what’s with not spraying? Maybe SPS likes the attention. (Here’s your halo and weird holy orb, Poolice…you’re a saint for not laughing in thier faces.)
Declawing is considered animal cruelty in 20 countries. You declaw an animal, you go to prison. Thanks for sharing your stories, everyone. It’s hard to read this stuff, but thank you.
I’ve been a cat owner all my life and I regularly tussle with my own cat and I am hard-pressed to recall a scratch or nick that came from front claws. My scratches are usually from holding my cat while he decides that I am an excellent launch pad to someplace higher up (think bookshelf) and kicks off with his back feet, scratching my chest. So declawing the front paws wouldn’t solve that problem anyway.
Also, I’m unclear on why you would have a cat declawed if your furniture isn’t a concern. Not that I agree with ever having a cat declawed, but at least “protecting the furniture” is a reason (albeit a bad one) — going through that procedure/expense/pain to avoid random scratches on your hands seems confusing. If you’re a professional hand model and your career will be ruined by a scratch on your finger, maybe you should consider another type of pet.
Like so many others here, I’m not a fan of declawing, either. I have five cats that are a mix of clawed/declawed. The first cat I got was a stray, and some asshole had declawed her front and back but didn’t bother to have her spayed, and by whatever series of events, she ended up on a friend’s street. They fed her and kept checking around for lost cats, but no one posted anything about her, so they called the biggest sucker for cats they knew. And it’s true that declawed cats bite more–out of my five, she’s the hardest to take to the vet and the most likely to draw blood once we get there.
We did end up front declawing one of our other cats. I felt horrible about it, but despite my claw trimming efforts–and after at least a year of living together peacefully–he started beating up the declawed cat and leaving deep, bloody scratches across her face. We had him declawed after he almost took out her eye. I regret doing that now, though, because shortly after we’d done it, he resorted to biting, which led to a nasty infection on her lower back. We ended up having to divide up our house anyway to keep those two apart, so in the end, the declawing was useless.
But seriously, cats with claws are not the destructive forces that people think they are. We have one piece of furniture that’s designated for claw sharpening, and it’s the only thing they touch. The only scratches I end up with are accidental because they are clumsy fat asses who think they are still nimble little kittens. We have a 15-month-old daughter who certainly tests their limits, and they have never once hurt her. They might give her a warning swat after a particularly rough “playing” session, but they always keep their claws retracted when they deal with her. As long as I keep up with the trimming, everybody’s fine.
Voice of dissent, I suppose.
I hate declawing BUT
When I was growing up, my parents had our cat declawed. He climbed trees, fought with the best of them (won and lost), brought down a freakin’ crow, killed many birds and eliminated the neighborhood garage-mice. He came home and limped for a week after the procedure…it was really sad and pathetic, but my 2 year old sister never did get clawed, and the cat had a great home until a ripe old age.
My current cats, I left with my parents while I travelled the world. Gave them the litter brands, the cat food brand, the favourite toys. NEVER IN MY WIDLEST DREAMS did I think they would have my two cats declawed without telling me. NEVER. But they did.
Beings that I was in Cambodia at the time, I realized there were considerably greater horrors in the world, and that while they might be short some fingers, they were still in a pretty darn good home. I do still speak to my parents. The cats? They are still happy little indoor sissy-cats.
Point?
If it is the difference between death and declawing…do you really want those cats put to death? It should surprise no one that the vast majority of humane societies and shelters are still euthanizing perfectly healthy animals on a daily basis.
If an owner cares enough to pay the vet to do a surgical procedure, do you really think they are they types to neglect and starve? Or hoard?
Am I the only one who now has an NWA earworm? F@ck Tha Poolice? Really? Nobody?
And on the eve of US Thanksgiving, I am humbly grateful for all the fun I just had reading this Vine.
Poolice: That happens here, too. I was in a stall one day, heard the outer door open, someone shriek, “OMG, it smells like POOOOOO!” and run back out. Really?! Not pizza? The auto-air-freshener spritzers are great, unless your complainers are also terribly fragrance-sensitive and petition to have them removed. REALLY. Good luck.
Overshare: MagicCream depilatory. Don’t be alarmed by the bottle, featuring a smiling black man with the smooth head ;) Hairy women were not the target audience of this product, but it really works wonders.
I’m against declawing in theory, but I’ll admit it: We declawed our cat. She never, ever used her claws on a human (OK, once she scratched my husband when she accidentally got startled)–the perfect cat to have around grabby little kids. But she would. not. stop destroying the furniture.
It didn’t matter how short we clipped her nails, she would find a way to dig them into the fabric and pull big holes into it. We tried spray water bottles (she didn’t care), SoftClaws (she chewed at them until they came off–and may have ingested a few), that citrus spray that cats supposedly hate (she didn’t), her own scratching post (that she hated)–absolutely nothing worked.
Finally, after a year, we decided to declaw, and amazingly, it didn’t affect her one bit. When she came home from the vet, she scampered in like nothing happened, and was perfectly fine. She may have been even happier, because after that, she was allowed to “scratch” the furniture at will. (I should note that she was an indoor cat to the nth degree–no interest in going outside. She’d actually run when the door was opened.)
So, YMMV, but declawing isn’t always a horrible, traumatic thing for the kitty. And if you’re talking about a county shelter, the kitty’s options may be declawing with you or euthanasia, so I think that if it’s an absolute must, declawing is better than the other option.
I’m fortunate enough to have a cat that’s not a real scratcher, but I also recommend trimming the claws (it’s actually more so he doesn’t get snagged on things). I put a towel in the bathroom next to the clippers, scoop up the cat, bring him into the bathroom and close the door so there’s nowhere to run. I wrap him like a little burrito with the towel so there’s minimal squirming, take out one paw at a time and trim the sharpest tip point off. All four paws are done in less than 2 minutes.
When my two nephcats (both declawed by previous owners) were joined by their new sister, with claws, the shelter recommended using SoftClaws. She gets them once a month, and after three years they have no problems with her hurting the boys.
You can also explain your situation to the shelter you’d like to adopt from, focusing on wanting to be good indoor-only cat owners, and the safety of your two already at home, and asked to be put on a list for an already de-clawed cat. It will most likely be an older cat, but they are often extra appreciative of a stable home.
I’m off to celebrate 14 years today with my furry roommate. She’s getting tuna steaks. I’m guessing I’ll find my ‘gift’ in the box. But I wouldn’t trade one minute of it for anything!
My cat was really sick and the vet assistant noticed that I was pregnant and told me seriously for my baby’s sake that I needed to declaw my cat. I was fairly offended – he is a sweet cat and hasn’t drawn blood from myself or hubby since he was a baby. I mentioned that in the country where we bought the cat, declawing is illegal. For a reason. She didn’t take the hint – but in many EU countries declawing is actually against the law due to cruelty.
Also, I use a beard trimmer down there and it’s great! Easy to do and keeps everything neat. I’m just not sure what I’ll do when I’m too pregnant to, um, reach.
I adopted an 8-year old front-declawed cat after having full-talon cats previously. Probably my favorite cat ever, now that I think about it, which means I must be just as crazy as she was, but anyway…
As far as I can tell, the only thing declawing really achieved was to make her the bitey-est monster I’ve ever seen. That was her only defense, and boy did she use it! None of my clawed cats ever drew as much blood as she did. I’m pretty sure her little brain was broken by a bad early start anyway, but I believe to this day that she would have been significantly less crazy/hostile if she’d had anything *other than* her teeth to rely on when she was young. She did mellow considerably with age, and I was the one person she really liked, so the ‘incidents’ with me lessened over the years. But I spent more than a decade warning visitors to my house to touch the beastie at their own risk.
All that, and I still had to clip her back claws!
I have to disagree about declawing never, ever being acceptable. We have four cats – three of them have all their claws, but cat #4 did not play nice with the claws. Not with us, not with the other cats. After a lot of household debate, we had him declawed.
It didn’t change his personality in any way (we had him declawed when we had him altered, and he was A LOT more interested in licking his crotch than in anything with his paws), but it made owning him much easier. The whole cat family was much more peaceable afterwards, as well.
I’m not a fan of declawing (see our three other cats who have their claws), per se, but just wanted to point out that there are occasions where the pros outweigh the cons.
We have five, rambunctious, energetic kitties and they all have their claws. I could never declaw a cat, ever. It’s inhumane (yes, hello it’s called a HUMANE society for a reason) and unnecessary. And it’s akin to lopping off a persons fingertips up the first knuckle.
I’ve used the SoftPaws in the past with pretty good results (and I second using the colored ones. We used different colors for each kitty so when we found a stray Softpaw, we knew which kitty to chase).
To Poolice
Best way to get rid of poo smell might be scented candles and a box of matches. It gets rid of the smell and makes the bathroom smell… well, not quite like cookies, but maybe like lavander or honey. Other than that… well I suppose there isn’t much else you can do.
Also… to oversharing
I use this one from phillips
http://www.consumer.philips.com/consumer/pt/br/consumer/cc/_productid_HP6364_00_BR_CONSUMER/Bikini-Perfect+HP6364-00
And it was the best thing I ever bought. It works fine, lets you do a whole bunch of things. It doesn’t make my hair grow thicker but I’m not sure that’s the effect it’ll have on everyone.
Poolice – another vote for some sort of static deodorizer (like one of those Glade plug-in things) that doesn’t require people to spray. Even a dish of baking soda, or one of those flow-through refridgerater boxes of baking soda (if they still make those?) will help.
Pubic hair – if your problem with waxing is that it’s difficult, try sugaring instead. Works just like waxing, except when things go wrong it’s easier. It’s water-soluble so it’s easier to clean up, and when you get thing stuck where they shouldn’t be it’s less painful for some reason.
Alright, this is going to get me hatemail, but I have three cats, two of which are declawed. Both declawed kitties are normal, wonderful cats who do not bite and are not axe murderers. Both were declawed when they were neutered because they could climb DRY WALL. Not the curtains, THE DRY WALL. Third kitty has her claws because she was older when we got her and already fixed- didn’t want to put her under again. She is destructive, and she ATE a set of softpaws. ATE THEM.
Here’s the thing: Yes, declawing is gross. However, it allowed us to save two homeless cats that we might not have otherwise been able to keep (we’re young, poor and we rent… landlords do not take kindly to toe marks in the walls and carpet.) If declawing a cat makes them eligible for a forever home, I can’t begrudge people that. Our clawed cat is probably going to cost us $1500 in deposit when we move (spare me the advice on scratching posts etc, we’ve tried them all), and she’s worth it, but that’s how it is.
I guess the point I’m laboriously dragging myself towards is twofold:
1. There are lots of reasons for declawing a cat, and senseless cat torture is not one of them.
2. Clawed and declawed kitties mix well in my experience (just not with our furnniture…)
To Poolice:
In addition to the other suggestions for HR (spray, candles, deodorizer), the company may also want to invest in a decent exhaust fan. Perhaps they can find a way to have it on for extended periods of time. In this case, it might even be considered an accommodation for someone with a chronic illness.
@A.S.: Another vote for (a) pre-declawed cat or (b) SoftClaws, if you really intend to worry about it, which I think is (c) unnecessary anyway.
We adopted an already-declawed cat because our dumb landlord mandated that only a declawed cat would be allowed in our apartment.
Declawing is a bad idea. Now, I know wonderful people who have had it done to their cats, and I don’t judge them. But I sincerely believe that if Tux hadn’t had the surgery, he wouldn’t have been 20 pounds when we got him (it messes with their ability to stretch and exercise), and he wouldn’t be DIABETIC now. (He’s on insulin and doing OK, but…)
He also wouldn’t have had a recurring foot injury brought on by BONE TISSUE LEFT BEHIND when the first digit of each toe was removed. The other thing about declawing is that more and more vets are refusing to do it on ethical grounds. The remaining ones CAN make mistakes (as, apparently, in Tux’s case).
It’s a can of worms and it isn’t worth it. If you insist on a declawed cat, petfinder.com has a search option that can help you find one locally. Otherwise, cat claws taught my young self a very important lesson about respecting animals’ boundaries, and a cat is generally n more danger from a baby than a baby is from a cat.
Sorry. That one hit a rant nerve.
For The Poo Police:
I recently became a manager and have recently discovered a comment that has gotten me out of many petty, personal office disputes:
“I understand that this is an issue and I have addressed it to (in your case HR), but, unfortunately, due to the nature of the issue it may not be one that we can resolve. We may just have to live with it for a while.” In your case I would also add, sympathically, of course: “If the smell is too bad we DO have a spray in there you can use to cover it up.”
@Expat Erin — You probably know this, but for those who don’t, the reason your vet encouraged you to get your cat declawed was to prevent transmission of toxoplasmosis, which would kill your unborn baby if you caught it. It is present in cat feces, which can be stuck in/under a cat’s claws. If the cat were to scratch you, break your skin and transmit the pathogen to you, your baby would be in grave danger. That’s why pregnant women must never change cat litter. Any contact with cat feces is extraordinarily dangerous for her. So you might say a declawed cat is safer for a pregnant woman, depending on the individual animal’s propensity to scratch hard enough to break skin.
I suspect some of these women are also the type that make themselves ill refusing to ever poop in public (anything other than home) bathrooms. If so, part of the problem is that they really are convinced, in their crazy constipated brains, that pooping at work is per se unacceptable.
Count me in with al the people that could never, ever declaw. My suggestion, if you really think your household cannot adjust for a clawed cat, is to use http://www.petfinder.com – you can search by zip code, and specify that you’re looking for cats that are already declawed. I don’t know where you live, but there are always dozens available around here that are already declawed. Good luck!
Forgot to mention – you have to use the Advanced Search function to specify for declawed cats. I just did a search for where I live (Fairfax, VA) and found well over 100 cats within an hour’s drive. Also, for the uninitiated, Petfinder searches only shelters and rescues, so these are all cats in need of homes. I guess I’ll stop now, since I’m starting to sound like a paid advertisement. :)