[Updated 6/2/07 with honorable mention entries.]
Below, the winner of the “An Imprisoned Fish” mini-contest. The entry contains all the hallmarks of the SA style: randomly capitalized and quaintly hyphenated words and phrases (“Champagne Punch,” “boy-friend”); …

Hi Sars,
I love the practical turn The Vine has taken, and I’m hoping between you and your readers I can get a recommendation for a good book. I work for a magazine that is finally …

“If PBS Had A Movie-Awards Gala…”

A star-studded, faintly mothball-scented evening of battles and ball gowns, the Hissies — hosted by Doris Kearns Goodwin, who will allegedly write her own material — celebrate the epic stories …

Just read in my Cynopsis.com daily bulletin that Jeremy Sisto is joining the cast of Law & Order next season. Rock! I’m mostly happy that the attempt on L&O life via dumping it into a …

Little girl: Hi Mom, so guess what, at school today, after lunch? Dylan? Got a nosebleed.
Mom: Which Dylan?
What I love about that exchange: 1) to a child, a classmate’s nosebleed is above-the-fold, 48-point-type, no-time-for-pleasantries breaking …

I remember my 17-year-old body — not well, because I had it half a lifetime ago, but I remember it, and my only regret about it is that I had to use it at a …

…the latest in Yankee-related headlines from SI.com.
I pop over to the site to see who won the Yanks/Sox game and find that Schilling got smacked around out there. Sweet.
But when I read down, I find …

Hi Sars,
I am a professor of graduate studies in the health sciences field. As a scientist, I haven’t been required to take too many English or composition courses, so I would not consider …

I don’t know the guy, obviously; for all I know, he reads Wordsworth and is a member of PFLAG. But if we’re talking physical presentation, I challenge you to find me a bigger meathead than …

Seems like Edith Wharton is having a renaissance — the new biography is out (I’ve bought it, but haven’t dug in yet), and Domino had a piece on decorating in the Wharton style, which I …