Ms. Sars —
It’s not an original problem, but it is mine, and I hereby foist it on
you.Well, not really, but I do need help.
Issue one: I’m an extremely closeted 28-year-old possible lesbian, who
doesn’t really want …

Dear Sars:
My best friend at work (we’ve shared an office for almost three years) is
getting married in a couple months in the Bahamas.They are inviting about
a hundred or so people, but aren’t expecting more than …

After reading The Vine today I needed a cigarette real bad because Living on the Hellmouth’s problem and your response hit really close to home.
J’s problems are much like my own, except I’m on the …

Sarah: Mflt.
Couch Baron: Oh, uh…hello?
Sarah: Hpll nn jfft mr spcffft.
Couch Baron: I…think I might have the wrong number.
Sarah: NNMRRRFFFF!
Couch Baron: …Sarah?
Sarah: Mmm hmm.
Couch Baron: Uh…are you…okay?
Sarah: Mmm…hmm!
Couch Baron: Okay, so…the hell?
Sarah: Frrrk, sfff hrrk kfffrrpp …

Sars,
I met a girl last July named Susan.A mutual friend of ours, Allison,
thought we would be good together and set us up.The first date was a
double-date with me and Sue, Allison, and her boyfriend.It went …

Hi Sars,
As I read the letter from Frigid, I kept wondering if I’d somehow written
this letter myself in my sleep or something — I have the exact same problem.
Anyway, I thought I’d pass on that …

Hey Sars —
This may seem too explicitly a “sex” question at
first, but it ends up being more of a mental and
relational problem.
I don’t love sex.I don’t dislike it, per se, but
it doesn’t have the impact …

Dear Sars,
When you identify more with characters in Buñuel films
than with the cast of The Real World, you just might
have a problem. So here it is, and hopefully you can
help: I have real issues with …

I never remember, on the way to Penn Station, how much I love taking the train. On the way to Penn Station, I have to concentrate very hard on other things, things like not running …

Dear Sarah,
I know this is a silly question. It’s usually pretty common sense, and a normal person who is not a slob would be able to deal with this. My apartment is overridden with gnats. …