Gustave told me the book is way better, so I scampered over to Half.com to order it, but…man. I have such a girl-crush on Angelina Jolie. I. LOVE. Her. The movie is pretty bad, and …

It isn’t a good movie, but it really had potential, and I have to say that the montage is the best part — although it’s not so much “best” as “most interesting,” and it gets …

Too tricksy, too in love with itself, and wow, do people not talk to each other like they do in the last half hour. I liked Portman a lot despite how aggressively quirky the character …

The first half is great, with all the cross-cutting and Kirk Douglas bad-assing his way through a carjacking (of young Dennis Franz!) and Amy Irving melting down at school (at the same table as young …

I like the director a great deal, and I like most of the actresses in this film so so much, too, but it…just didn’t work. It’s not a bad movie; it’s not an unenjoyable hour …

…It’s a football movie, what can you say. It’s like Chinese food — hard to do really well, hard to screw up really badly. I liked this one a lot; I like Peter Berg as …

It bored me. I think that when it was made, this kind of reasonably unsympathetic “anti-hero” was still new enough that Nicholson could put it over, but at this point, I just feel like I’ve …

A little heavy-handed in parts, towards the end, but it’s a kids’ movie, so I can let it go, especially since I love the little kung-fu crab in Sydney Harbor. LOVE HIM. It’s the little …

Snerk. So, so bad. But Wahlberg is cute, and that roller-coaster scene is definitely a contender for the Supposed To Be Erotic But Actually Hilariously Stupid Hall Of Fame. Hee. (8/16/04)

Uh…okay, then. I also watched the FOD: Fact or Fiction “documentary” afterwards, and based on the clips in that, the sequels had much gorier footage, so I don’t feel quite so weird about having almost …