Gall Of Fame: Baseball’s Most Loathed Players
Which baseball player do you despise above (or perhaps “below”) all others?Which name, upon its mention, sends your heart rate up into a hate gyre?
Do you hate the same players now that you did when you were a kid — or have other players replaced the Rich Gedmans and Von Hayeses in the blackest precincts of your heart?
Who wins a dickfest: Dick Allen, or Barry Bonds?What if it’s a douchefest?Who wins that?
Do you hate any players that you used to love because of comments they’ve made (or assy behavior they’ve engaged in) after their careers ended?
Have any of your hatreds mellowed into grudging respect?
Talk to me.Talk to me about baseball players you hate, baseball players your friends hate, baseball players your grandpa hated.Used to hate?Tell me.Want to hate, but can’t? Let it out.I want to hear about the cherished loathings of baseball fandom, even if it’s just you who hates the guy.
I also want to hear the ways, if any, in which the sharing of these abhorrences contributes to your experience of watching/consuming baseball.When you invite, say, Jonathan Papelbon to eat a handful of bees at the top of your lungs in the bleachers, does it make you feel a part of things?Does the ritual telling of Dave Kingman stories on the porch or at the bar contribute to your sense of being a baseball fan?
Or do you just want Dave Kingman to go very far away and take his iron glove with him?
No player too old or insignificant; no grievance too random or inconsequential.It’s over a month ’til pitchers and catchers report, I’ve got a discussion session to plan, and I HATE KEVIN BROWN.HATE HIM.STILL.PUNCH A BEE WITH YOUR NON-PITCHING HAND, BITCHFACE.Haaaaate!
(I may quote your comments; if I do, I will note your name/nom du TN as it appears here. Please hit the ShareThis button below and get your friends/family/FB circle to contribute too.)
Tags: Barry Bonds bees curmudgeoning Dave Kingman Dick Allen Gregg Jefferies Jonathan Crapelbon Kevin Brown Rich Gedman Von Hayes
Oh! I forgot to add: I met Boggs at a celebrity fund raiser thing last year. He was so awkward and drunk (“allegedly”), I talked to him for five minutes and he never really said anything coherent. It was like talking to a rookie who’d been over-coached on how to talk to the press. For that, I can’t help but think of him and smile.
(And apologies for off-sport hatred, but Mia Hamm was also a bitch at that event–though I never liked her much anyways, I played soccer through college, told her I grew up watching her, and she acted like posing for a picture for three seconds was such an inconvenience. Dave Andreychuk, on the other hand, LOVE.)
2 names I consider to be the most obnoxious names in baseball:
NOMAR GARCIAPERRA
and
PAPELBOOOOONNNNNNNNN
I went to UMass for 4 years, and consider myself to not be very interested in baseball. However, hearing these 2 names uttered by countless idiotic Boston-Irish dude-bros fills me with nothing but hatred for the entire state of Massachusetts as a whole.
Salomon Fucking Torres. I hate this son of a bitch. His performance on the last day of the season in ’93 still has me pissed off. The Giants had the best record in baseball all summer, and somehow the Braves caught them. They had a chance on the last day of the season against the Dodgers and the Giants trot out this piece of crap to take the mound. I looked up the box score from that day, and it wasn’t completely his fault, but if he had pitched half-way decently, it never gets as bad as it did.
To this day, when I hear that son of a bitch’s name, I start swearing and throwing things. I was in college when it happened, and my wife (we started dating in ’99) even knows what a complete and utter asshole-douch-cocksucking-motherfucker he is. I even started getting angry typing this.
Seriously, I think my blood pressure just went up about 50 points.
DAMN YOU SALOMON TORRES!!! I hate everything about you!!!
I also hate players who refuse to sign for kids, then turn around and hawk a ton of signed shit for $150 a pop. (Pete Rose.) (I actually don’t know if he’s guilty of the former, but the latter, he’s the worst. Apparently he changed his uniform like 21 times during the game in which he broke Cobb’s record so that he could sell them all. Pathetic.) I get that the celebrity part of being a major-leaguer is not something you always want to deal with, but it’s part of the job, and if you’re consistently ungracious to fans, you suck.
@ Sarah D. Bunting – “PAPELDROIA” is pure genius! My crazy hatred of the two of them makes it hard for me to choose which name to say first when ranting, and I get all tongue-tied but you’ve fixed that for me. Thanks, and I’ll be sure to give you credit.
@ Tasha – “Jonathan Papelbon. IF ADAM LIND WANTS TO HIT A HOME RUN IN EVERY PLATE APPEARANCE, YOU’D GOSH-DARNED WELL BETTER LET HIM. Douche.” You’re damn right. What Adam Lind wants, Adam Lind gets.
I’m in total agreement on many of the calls, so I’ll just add a few of my thoughts.
Jim Edmonds and his diving catches bug so much. Vernon Wells, (when he could play centrefield a few years ago) never had to do that because he was able to get to the right spot. Occasional diving is fine, but when it is your only move, it gets tired.
Chipper Jones, for both his dillholish name and for his slagging of Toronto. Seriously Chipper? I know we don’t have NASCAR, but there are actually a few things to do while in town, so pipe down.
Billy “I’m a moron” Wagner, for badmouthing Roy Halladay last year. Bush league? Ph please. Billy, your teammate (the hateable Papelbon) hit Roy’s teammate after he’d had a great game. If you have an IQ higher than that of my spider plant, you know what’s coming. And unlike a certain teammate of yours (the douchestastic Papelbon again), Roy hit Ortiz in the elbow, not the head! So sit down and shut up or I’ll find a way to give you some extended face time with sweet lady brick. And for future reference, Roy is the antithesis of bush league, and you aren’t fit to carry his jockstrap.
I could go on, as after some consideration, I hate most of MLB. I may need some therapy or something.
He doesn’t count for this, but I have to express just how much I hate Harry Caray. Half the baseball games of my childhood were ruined by his nonsense ramblings, which were made worse by the fact that you had to use your brain too much to piece together exactly what he said, and once you realized how stupid it was, you notice that you missed a double play. Beloved baseball icon, my ass.
As much as he ruined baseball games when I was kid, who made baseball just a joy to watch? Pete Rose. I can grudgingly accept why so many people hate him as a person, but that is one fine example of a baseball giant. If everyone who hates him could see him in a charity softball game, where he still plays Charlie Hustle and goes all out all the time, as if every play was life or death, you’d all agree that he is the personification of Love of the Game.
So much Chipper Jones hate. I don’t even know whether or not he’s a good person. But his name is Chipper. And he looks like that creepy too-loud drunken uncle that everybody’s friend has that makes you not want to go to her house.
And he plays really well when I need him not to.
And the little bitch pulled a hamstring just running to catch the ball. He can’t even get injured right.
Haaaaaate.
I am an utter ignoramus regarding baseball (or most sports, although: Roll Tide!). That said, I hate Pete Rose like I’d hate an audibly flatulent tarantula with a habit of making air quotes with its legs. I don’t even hate Pete Rose for baseball-related reasons. I hate him because his face makes me angry. I can’t see a photo of him without kicking something, which is what cost me my career as a nanny. HATE.
@Sars: Pete Rose in his underwear OH MY EYES THEY BURN yet can’t stop laughing.
“And the little bitch pulled a hamstring just running to catch the ball. He can’t even get injured right. ”
Oh god. Sammy Sosa and his sneeze-induced back injury. Though there was something I read that put Sosa in a decent light. Wish I could remember what it was.
But, back injury from a sneeze? Bite me.
Completely unjustified HATE: Cal Ripken. He did his job. BIg F’ing deal. He got paid to play a game, and he showed up. How many normal people do that every day? He wasn’t spectacular at his position, his records are mostly because he was there so freaking long, and he wasn’t that nice a person. HATE HATE HATE. (Why, yes, I did move to Baltimore in the mid 90s, why do you ask?)
Justifiable HATE: Roberto Alomar. He didn’t just spit at the umpire, at the press conference after, he slandered a man going through one of the most horrible personal tragedies a father can go through, and then complained about being booed for his unspeakable behavior. HATE HATE HATE HATE. (If you haven’t read Lisa Pollak’s Pulitzer winning article about the umpire, I highly recommend it at http://www.pulitzer.org/works/1997-Feature-Writing).
“Audibly Flatulent Tarantula” is my band name. NO, it’s MINE.
oh, totally forgot my other, slightly-less-irrational hatred: the (used-to-be-devil) rays mascot. he gets far too much tv time in games in the (hate hate hate hate hate!) “Trop” and isn’t funny, just a jerk.
Where to start? Jeff Kent. I stopped being a Met fan after 17 years when they traded my ALL TIME fav, David Cone for “Superman”. What did he do for the Mets? Nada. So I have hated him since. Fast forward 10 years later, I’m Yankee Stadium to see the Yanks & Astros. After the game, I hung out by the player’s entrance/exit. It was get away day. As Jeff Kent emerges, I scream as loud as I can “JEFF KENT, YOU SUCK!” He heard me, turned and smirked, probably thinking, Crazy NYer. But I felt vindicated.
The rest of my list includes: “Larry” Jones just for being alive, Carl Everett for breaking up Mussina’s perfect game, A-Fraud, Randy Johnson, Tim Teuffel (for the way he batted)… I’m sure there were more, but Jeff Kent the most!
Oh yeah! Aaron “F*ing Boone, Joba the Hutt, Jeff Weaver, Bobby Bonilla, Bonds…
Other baseball types: Joe Morgan, Tim McCarver, Bud Selig & Brian Cashman
I wasn’t sure it was okay to include Joe Morgan, because I never knew him as a player, but he is THE most hated announcer of a lot of announcers that I hate. Hey Joe, you are no longer playing and it is no longer 1976 or whatever and I’m sure that the techniques and skills you are endlessly discussing while not even bothering to watch the game you are supposedly commenting on are ridiculously irrelevant and antiquated. Get over it, get over yourself, and, you might have heard this from the torturous screams of anyone watching your broadcasts, “SHUUUUUUT UUUUUUP!!!!!”
Michael InterfuckingLocking NY Kay. I am thrilled when the YES Network puts anyone of their 20 people not named Kay. Anyone but him. Hell I would bring back McCarver to calling the Yankees games if it would spare me Kay despite how much Tim bugs.
If we’re going to get into mascots too, the discussion needs to begin and end with the mercifully short-lived Crazy Crab (SF). I know that by some accounts he was intended as an “anti-mascot,” so you could spin it that the fans were supposed to hate him, but still…inflicting that on people who were already miserable over (1) having to support a terrible, franchise-worst team and (2) being at Candlestick in the first place, was cruel and unusual. Not to mention dangerous for the poor underpaid schmuck in the costume. (Didn’t the guy end up filing a lawsuit when he was assaulted? But not by fans that particular time, by Padres players?)
@Anlyn: “(T)here was something I read that put Sosa in a decent light. Wish I could remember what it was.”
A book about serial killers in which his name doesn’t come up even once? Heh.
The portrait of Sosa in Howard Bryant’s invaluable “Juicing The Game” is pretty brutal. I’m not referring to the juicing he has in common with everyone else who gets serious page time, but to his immaturity, his lack of work ethic, and his conviction (once he had been anointed a Big Deal) that everyone else on the team, manager included, was his subordinate and should cater to him smilingly. Excerpt, p. 372-3: “The boom box that sat near Sosa’s locker had become a symbol for the divisiveness he engendered. Sammy was bigger than everyone. If he wanted to listen to salsa, so, too, must the entire clubhouse. There were no headphones in Sammy Sosa’s world. After the Cubs’ season ended with a 10-8 victory over the Braves, just the team’s second win in its final nine games, two Cubs players, believed to be the teams’ young ace pitchers Mark Prior and Kerry Wood, took turns smashing the stereo to pieces with a baseball bat.”
Well, I bet an audibly flatulent tarantula wouldn’t get into legal trouble for gambling, now would it? No. No, it would not, and in that–and many other ways–it would be superior to Pete Rose.
Oh, god, I forgot about whiny little Garciaparra. What a humorless ass. And you know who else? Frank FUCKING Viola. Again, though, not because I remember anything about him from his two years with the Sox, but he filled in last summer in the booth on Red Sox road trips, and MY GOD is he an idiot. He made the Eck look like a Rhodes Scholar.
Honestly, I despise Alex Rodriguez. I don’t deny he’s got very impressive stats, but at least part of that probably involves PEDs. Also, the guy just *looks* mean. Finally, what guy wrecks a marriage over Madonna and a couple of call girls (fine, *allegedly* wrecks a marriage over them), then tries to compensate after the fact by dating Kate Hudson? Sheesh.
As to Chipper Jones, who someone else mentioned: I don’t have too much against him, but anyone who names his kid after another team’s ballpark because he hit so well there needs to be beaten. Severely.
Finally, there is the one and only Cole Hamels (disclaimer: I am a Phillies fan), who whines after blowing Game 3 of the World Series about how he wishes the season were over. What?! Just because you can’t throw a curveball and decided to try it and fail, only to try it a second time (against the pitcher, no less, who promptly puts it up your ass), you whine about wishing the Series was over. Definitely a change from the attitude of 2008. Okay, so you weren’t the ace on the team anymore (and still aren’t). News flash, buddy: If you’re going to be a true ace, you need to act like one, on AND off the mound. Stop throwing curveballs and being such a whiny baby when your no-hitter gets messed up due to a fielding error. Sheesh.
My Dad was a salesman for Rheingold beer, sponsor of the Mets. Our family was serious Mets fans. The year I was ten, my heart belonged to shortstop Buddy Harrelson. My five brothers teased me unmercifully, which, in hindsight — Buddy Harrelson? But, yeah. Y’all can just line up to bite me.
My Dad won a sales contest and scored two tickets to the World Series game at Shea stadium and took _me_ instead of any of the boys, and I was so excited.
And then that rat-bastard, big-bully, hairy, mean Pete Rose beat up the love of my life, tiny little Buddy Harrelson, and the players were fighting, and the fans were rioting in the stands, and the noise was overwhelming and I got claustrophobic in the crowd, and I cried and cried and cried because I was afraid Buddy Harrelson was hurt.
My Dad was so kind to me. He bought me a Hershey’s bar with almonds and a Root Beer and rubbed my back the entire drive home to northern NJ. My hatred for Pete Rose festers still.
My eyes! They burn!!!! Oh, Pete, you horrifying thing. At least Steve Carlton had the decency to put on the matching undershirt (and the pattern of THAT burns the eyes…) http://www.yourememberthat.com/files/6dae818e039e9301.jpg
and Jim Palmer had the decency to look like this in his underpants http://www2.prnewswire.com/mnr/jockey/40056/images/40056-hi-Jim_Palmer.jpg
Irrational hate? Jeromy Burnitz. Mostly because of “Jeromy” which wasn’t really his fault, he was just one of those guys I loved to hate. I have fond memories of being at a game at Olympic Stadium in Montreal during the Expos’ last season, and there were maybe 500 people in the dome. They let us sit anywhere we wanted, so my friends and I sat directly behind the visitor dugout and we spent almost the entire game shouting at Burnitz. He turned around and glared at us, which only made us yell more (and probably caused him to strike out almost every time he was up). I like to think he sat in the locker room crying afterward.
A-Rod. I know it’s become a cliche to hate A-Rod, but just like it’s become a cliche to say that the Stones are the best rock band of all time, that doesn’t make it wrong.
To hell with lack of hustle, to hell with post season choking, to hell with only looking out for number one, to hell with the Madonna crap, to hell with purple lipstick, strip clubs, over-rated/under-rated, quarter-billion dollar contract, bad chemistry, and yes, even the fact that HE ADMITTEDLY USED STEROIDS DURING HIS FIRST MVP SEASON AND THEN SAID HE DECIDED TO STOP. To hell with all of that. I hate him and his stupid ass-face for no real reason. Always have.
I hate him as much as I love watching Griffey bat. I hate him as much as I love watching Maddux pitch. I hate him as much as I love the books of Philip K Dick and Haruki Murakami. I hate him as much as I love the music of Tom Waits (no, that’s a bit too far, but you get the idea).
There are things in this world that you latch onto as a person. People and moments and objects that are just *right* for you, for whatever reason. Try to explain it as best you can you you’ll still come up short. They fit you like a glove and you will never abandon them. On the flip side, there’s A-Rod.
Albert Belle: oh yeah, hate
Most of my enduring hates come
from being a Rangers fan.
–A-Rod, for being A-Rod and for whining after taking the Rangers for all they had and then some. (maybe we can’t get some decent pitching because you took all the money, douche!) I was happy when he left.
–Piazza, for thinking he was as good of a catcher as Pudge.
–My biggest hate will probably always be for Boggs. Seriously, the man couldn’t win a Golden Glove until Buddy Bell switched leagues (one of the major heartbreaks of my childhood), yet Buddy gets largely forgotten (ok, the teams he played for sucked, but in my mind he’s still pretty much the Platonic Form of a 3rd baseman). Boggs could hit, but was nowhere near Bell defensively, he’s super rude, and in my mind he smells like old chicken.
(Thanks for letting me rant! I’m pregnant with twin boys, and a friend joked that I’m such a Rangers fan that I should name them Buddy and Rusty. Heh.)
I believe one of the glorious things about being a major baseball fan is that you’re allowed to deeply hate people for no reason (or, at best, for making a key mistake doing something they’re already better than 99% of the world at).
AJ Pierzynski might be my most-hated player, as the most obnoxious person on my most-hated team (DIE WHITE SOX AAARRGH). Game 163 from 2008 was the one that sent me into assassin mode about AJ, after he tagged out Cuddyer at home plate and shoved the ball into Cuddy’s face to show him up instead of just showing it to the ump and walking off the field like someone who wasn’t a giant tool would do. That, along with the flinging himself lengthwise to bump the infielder and then whining about obstruction. (AND GETTING IT. God, umpires, what photos does he have of you???) Go hit yourself in the face with a sock full of wood screws, AJ. And stop dyeing your hair like Marilyn Monroe’s for God’s sake you are not a 12-year-old girl as far as I know aaaaAAARRRRGHHAAAATE.
Oh, and Jonathan Papelbon should be launched into the sun. If he drags Kevin Youkilis and his face-carpet AND his interpretive-dance batting stance with him, I would not be the first to shed a tear.
Melerin, if I knew your address, I’d send you a proper thank-you note for the image of Jonathan Papelbon (or anyone, really) being launched into the sun. And also for the phrase “interpretive-dance batting stance”. (“Plinka plinka BOINK AAAAANNNNND plie’.”)
@Cath
See, I hate the idea that Pete Rose would still act all “Charlie Hustle” at a charity softball game. I’d be thinking that he was a show-offy dick who was trying to relive his glory years. Sorry, but I just hate him as a player and as an (allegedly) human being.
@Sars
The picture of Pete in his underwear? Going on my fridge and inside my cabinets. The sight of it pretty instantly made me lose my appetite, so I’m using it as a diet aid.
I can’t get the Jacoby Ellsbury hate either. He’s pretty quiet, ridiculously cute and a seriously good ballplayer. I don’t like most of the Red Sox (mostly because I’m sick of hearing about them ALL THE TIME), but he seems like a good one — no attitude, no show-offy antics, just good play.
And I can’t remember who made the Reggie Jackon comments, but yeah — he explained a LOT about how things really were for him with Billy Martin during the Stern interview – it was very interesting and it didn’t seem like he was b.s.-ing, so I’d say I have a lot more respect after hearing about some of the crap he went through.
Since Schilling was such a horse for the Phils I can’t hate him. Besides his wife sat across the aisle from me in those days and we had a lovely acquaintanceship.
The person whose hate for Kruk is fading? He was delightful the night I was waiting through an hour and 45 minute rain delay to sing the national anthems at a Montreal home game in Philadelphia (the O was crumbling). He came down the tunnel to stand next to me and said, “Let’s just call this fucker.” Stricken, I looked at him and said,”But if they call it, I may never get another chance to sing.” He looked at me thoughtfully and said, “Well then let’s get the tarp offa there!” It is of small things that true and abiding love are born.
I hate Gary Carter. I hate that people call him “Kid.” I hate the over the top to me completely not genuine peppyness as though he’s Mary Tyler Moore on drugs. HATE
I hate Barry Bonds because I loved him so much as a player. He was strong, fast, a great hitter, great fielder, what did I care if he was a bad interview. And then he was such a cheater and stole the record from my all-time favorite player Hank Aaron.
I hate Pete Rose because long before scandal he came running into home plate in the All-Star game and pretty much ended the effective career of my favorite player, Ray Fosse, who, when I sent him a card and asked him to sign it for my mom (he was her favorite player) when she’d had surgery, he did, but he also had all the team sign it, as well. Pete Rose was slime from that day forward to me, all the rest is just confirmation.
I think Phillies fans all hate Chipper Jones. My hatred starts with the smug southern white boy face and is exacerbated by his Philly killing tendencies in the past.
And I hate A Rod, but in a, poor guy, he’s such a douche and will never have the mental capacity to grow up and not be one. He’s a classic narcissist with absolutely no self-awareness. He’ll be the same tool when he’s toothless and lumpy.
And thank you so much, Sars, for that link to the Beckham piece. I disagree with the blogger, because I worship at the altar of Becks. So toothsome, so sigh-worthy (visually and as a player, personally I couldn’t care less…it’s not like I’ll ever meet him or if I did that I would ever be a size zero who could woo him). But the photo has brightened my day.
@Bo: I think Kruk is kind of shit as a commentator, but now I like him because of that story.
Brian’s nomination of Cole Hamels reminds me: Hamels has one of the all-time annoying “post-homer-giving-up” faces. It isn’t any of the usual faces we see on pitchers in those moments. It isn’t the fierce “now it’s on” face, the sheepish face, the depressed face, the inscrutable face…it’s this pissy/petty mien of offense. Like, “How dare he hit a homer off me, the great Cole Hamels?”
John Lackey is another bad teammate when the defense is less than stellar behind him. He can’t seem to restrain himself from saying and doing things on the mound to let everyone know he’s just about had it with these amateurs behind him. He has been called out for this, rightly, by postseason commentators. He was also a bad sport with his post-game comments about the Red Sox, specifically Pedroia and Ellsbury, when he lost that ALDS game to them in 2008. It wasn’t anything that I imagine will cause lingering problems now that he’s with that team, but the gist was that the Angels had been the better team all season, and Pedroia and Ellsbury got a couple of fluke hits off him (and his bad defense) and then acted as if they were so great. All of that actually may have been true (except I didn’t see any showboating after the hits), but you always come off better if you bite your tongue and let fans and reporters make that kind of point.
Loud mouth Curt Schilling. Hate. Hate his “calling out” players. Hate his “heroics”, hate his stupid post-9/11 patriotism. Hate him. And Jorge Posada do you really have to visit the mound 8 times in one inning, and 4 times over the course of one at bat? hate!
Ooooh, what a fun topic! I’ve so enjoyed reading everyone else’s.
I’m a longtime Mariners fan, but haven’t followed them in a listen-to-every-game sort of way in many years. I remember that they always seemed to have at least a couple of horrifically bad relief pitchers on staff, guys who’d inspire my sister and me to cover our eyes and moan, “NOOOOOOO,” even if we were listening to the game on the radio. The mack daddy of these game-wreckers was a guy named Chris Bosio, pronounced Bozzy-oh, whom we dubbed “the Bosiator” (rhymes with “nauseator”), and “getting Bosiated” became slang for losing because the relief pitcher lost the save. The group also included people like Bobby Ayala and Norm Charlton (who, to his credit, didn’t ALWAYS suck). We swore that they all had naked pictures of Lou Piniella with the Mariner mascot, and that was the sole reason they were still employed.
When A-Rod went to Texas, though, he acquired all the hatred previously reserved for the bullpen. (In all fairness, we were saddened and a little bitter at losing Junior, too, but we never, ever hated him.) A-Rod’s subsequent antics have put the “roid” in “schadenfreude” for every Ms fan since, and we love, LIVE TO, hate A-Rod. We hate his pinstriped, steroid-pumped ass. HAAAAAAATE.
Gotta throw in a big “ditto” to those of you who noted that Edgar Martinez should enjoy some kind of immunity to baseball hate because . . . he’s EDGAR. And to whoever made the classic remark that they’d bang Mariano Rivera like a screen door in a hurricane. Mariano Rivera can be bronzed and placed in my living room upon retirement, no matter what uniform he’s wearing.
I may be in the minority as a Tigers fan, but I can’t STAND Joel Zumaya. How about some accuracy with your 100 MPH pitches, Zoom Zoom? And talk about stupid-ass injuries. And a cocky attitude. Go away now, please.
lizb: Okay, you piqued my curiosity, so I just had to Google a pic of Posada, and you are SO RIGHT. That poor guy. He makes enough money, get the ears pinned!
But I am giggling, so I’m kind of glad he hasn’t.
Holly: The Phanatic scares me. And many small children as well, I bet.
Oh! I forgot to throw in my .02 about Jeff Kent! One of my old roommates hated Kent, so hated him, too, out of solidarity. When anything would happen we didn’t like, or someone would act douchey, we’d always say “That’s so Jeff Kent!”. Get cut off in traffic? That guy is so Jeff Kent! It’s useful.
Don’t know what made me think of it now, but I will always hate Deion Sanders for that “dollar sign in the dirt” scuffle. That shit don’t fly with Carlton Fisk.
Jason Giambi will always and forever have my hatred more than any other player who has ever played any sport. We refer to him in my house as “Ziombi” for the vacant stare and slow, ponderous movements.
I swear to god, every time he missed an easy out or refused to run out a ground ball, I could feel my blood begin to boil and steam pour out my ears. Also, he replaced my beloved Tino.
Teix could have been a one-legged, one-eyed five year old, and I still would have loved him solely for not being Jason Giambi.
Runner Up: Youkilis. His chin has its own gravitational pull, which I think counts as an unfair advantage.
I forgot Nomar Garciaparra the last rant around. What gets me is his ridiculous ritual up at bat when he had to readjust his batting gloves, cross himself, look at the sky, cook a 3-course meal, read War & Peace, and copy the dictionary by hand between EVERY FRIGGiN’ PITCH! Want to speed up the game? Put a shock collar on Nomar and zap him every time he so much as twitches between pitches.
And Barry Bonds. So much hate I can barely think straight. Want to blow up his already ginormous melon like a balloon and have it float over Hank Aaron’s house so the man can pepper him with a BB gun. Of course, Hank is too classy for that, but I’m available.
My top two hated players (although I adore the nominations of Tim McCarver and Joe Morgan in the announcers category) are Mark McGwuire and Sammy Sosa.
I am from South Dakota, where there aren’t a lot of opportunities to watch professional baseball. On September 6, 1998, I went to my first-ever baseball game in St. Louis. It was the game between McGwuire’s 60th and 61st home run (which is a fancy way of saying that I watched Mark McGwuire strike out or walk 4 times in a sea of camera flashes).
It was not only the first time I’d ever seen a baseball game live, but it was the first time I really understood the draw of the game–it captured my attention in a way that it just couldn’t on the television screen. Suddenly, I could see the beauty of the game and the skill that it took to play it.
Since then, I have moved to the northeast and, like many on this list, am now a Red Sox fan. There are other players who have disappointed me since then (Manny, Johnny Damon, Brett Favre–oops, wrong sport), but none will match my sadness at watching Sosa and McGwuire show up at the House Oversight Committee and try to lie their ways out of the damage they’d done to the game. Perhaps without them, the game would not have recovered fully or as quickly from the 1994 strike, but I can’t forgive them for taking the easy way out to try to break records.
Pete Rose. I have nothing to add to the fab comments above.
The entire Yankees of 1976 and 1977. I bled Dodger Blue.
Jose Canseco. The douchebag of douchbags.
“@Sars: Pete Rose in his underwear OH MY EYES THEY BURN yet can’t stop laughing.”
Oh Jen thank you, you’ve made my night. Why have I never seen that photo before?
I hate Johnny Damon.
I hate his stupid shit-eating grin, and his stupid lame arm in centerfield (dude can barely make the cut off), and just him.
As an A’s fan, it is easy to be bitter on many levels: we serve essentially as a farm team to bigger money clubs, we have a historically cheap ownership group, and for the past forever it seems, they have threatened to move from Oakland, and then got mad at fans for not wanting to invest in the team. It’s been tough to see players like Giambi, Tejada, Hudson, etc. (but not Zito, I was glad to see him go to the Giants and play like crap), but I can’t hate much on them. But I can hate Damon.
When he went free agent from the A’s, he made a lot of bad comments about Oakland: the fans, the town, the stadium. And then when he wasn’t getting the interest he thought he would, he ate crow, “Oakland is a great town. Who wouldn’t want to play here, blah blah pleaselovemeagaincakes.” Eventually he went to Boston, grew his stupid hair out, and pretended to care about that team and fans.
Which we all know he didn’t, he’s just opportunistic. It’s a symptom of baseball overall, that players just chase the money, but Damon seems to embody this full tilt. Yes, he’s a good lead off and fast on the bases, but his defense is crap.
In the playoffs a few years ago, against Oakland, he got hit in the head with the ball. Down he went. I am a nice person, I don’t wish ill on anyone, but I’ll admit…I laughed.
EW, Canseco. During his time playing for the Huntsville Stars, even my friends who were impressed to have him in town hated him as a person.
I hate-love the oddly named players (Chone, Joba, etc). Part of me wants to hate them, but when I get to make Shoney’s or Star Wars joke every time they’re on screen, well, it’s harder to hate.
I hate Tim McCarver for his idiocy in announcing, and also for being able to get through the 2009 post season without ever mentioning that he played for the Phillies. Really, shouldn’t that come up at some point? I honestly don’t think it did; I certainly learned that factoid from my Phillies-loving husband (who told me about the catching thing that someone mentioned earlier).
As a Cardninals fan I am contractually obligated to be part of the “best fans in baseball” and therefore only comment on the comparative good/bad skills of players and not their personalities*. (This being baseball, there HAS to be an asteriks.)
*Except for the entire 2004 Red Sox and their stupid FUCKTAHD fans that spilled beer on me — repeatedly — during game 4. Woo hoo–your management finally spent the money to get a decent team…too bad they didn’t have enough left over to buy some F’n CLASS! Bitterness thy name is Ausim. F’n Curt Schilling and his Bloody Sock of Great Importance and Sacrifice. F’n goobers from all over the damn country that all of a sudden “always loved the Sox” and bought every goddamn baseball cap made in China. Ruined my Thanksgiving 2004 vacation to Puerta Vallerta because every ridiculous wannabe frat boy had a stupid “WOO-HOO SOX” chant. Assholes. Yeah, I know we’ve since had a series win…don’t care, still HATE.
oh, John Rocker, Milton Bradley, others also noted here already, but nothing comes close to touching the hate I experience any time I hear Sammy Sosa’s name mentioned.
I met him once at a restaurant before the home run season. He was modest, funny, approachable, and seemed flattered with the attention. He offered me tickets to the next day’s game. I felt like I’d met my hero.
…Wait, but: so you hate him? Not that you can’t; I don’t get how your last paragraph makes him hateable, is all.
Aside from the vast number of Yankees I have hated over the years for really no other reason than the fact that they’re Yankees and I’m a Sox fan, I’ve got a couple biggies:
1) Roger Clemens. Enough said, I think.
2) John Rocker. I lived in Atlanta during his tenure there, and it was really just embarrassing for most of the city (and state for that matter) every time he opened his mouth…and that is leaving aside his inconsistent pitching and startling resemblance to Scooby Doo.
Ditto to pretty much Clover’s entire post. The Bobby Ayala hate, oh man! I have never disliked a player on my own team that much. We would CRINGE when the call went down for him. Would have loved to know what he had on Sweet Lou that bought him so many chances to screw things up. And ditto the Edgar love, along with Buhner and Dan Wilson. Good players, GREAT people by all accounts.
And also, as a Mariners fan, I pretty much hated the Yankees across the board, with special rage reserved for Paul O’Neill. I can’t even remember WHY, I just know that in 1995 when they showed him pouting in the dugout after the Ms came back to win the last 3 games of the ALDS I may have said something like “Suck it, you big crybaby” to my TV. (I have heard that he may actually be a pretty decent guy, so I really don’t know why I so actively disliked him specifically. A lot.)