Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Home » Archive by Category

Articles in Stories, True and Otherwise

Keys To An Effective Nap
September 4, 2007 – 8:50 PM | 46 Comments

Micro-naps (also known as “power naps”) work better than free-range napping.On a drizzly Sunday afternoon, if you had one glass of red wine too many the night before, sacking out on the couch for a …

Look upon my Roomba, ye mighties…and despair
August 23, 2007 – 11:15 AM | 69 Comments

Two things you might not know about Little Joe: 1) sometimes, when he’s startled, he jumps up and to the side with all four feet all Vanilla Joe “Stop! Collaborate and SPIDER!”; 2) other times, …

Word wanted
August 20, 2007 – 8:34 AM | 29 Comments

Does a word exist that is like “acoustics,” but for smells? And if not, can anyone suggest a sniglet that fits? The best one I’ve come up with so far is “apoostics,” since the question …

The Cape Cod Retail/Location Name-O-Matic
August 4, 2007 – 12:12 PM | 25 Comments

You never know when you might find yourself in Cape Cod, struggling to christen a new restaurant, antique store, street, or cluster of swayback-roofed pale blue motel cottages. It’s a lot of pressure, but help …

Buggin’
June 18, 2007 – 7:06 PM | 140 Comments

[about two weeks ago]
Eating lemon sorbet at my desk, straight from the pint with a serving spoon like the classy dame I am, I drop a nickel-sized blob of sorbet next to the keyboard. My …

Midtown Humanity On Parade, Vol. 4
June 13, 2007 – 10:31 PM | 55 Comments

Dear sir,
The next time you find yourself wearing sunglasses indoors, ask yourself these questions:
1. Am I the leader of a cult?
2. Am I either John Munch or Bono?
3. Have I recently undergone surgery on my …

Midtown Humanity On Parade, Vol. 3
June 11, 2007 – 5:38 PM | 110 Comments

When it comes to crying in public in New York City, you have two schools of thought: 1) that it’s terribly lonely and sad that nobody ever stops to ask after the cryer; and 2) …

Midtown Humanity On Parade, Vol. 2
May 29, 2007 – 5:48 PM | 333 Comments

Little girl: Hi Mom, so guess what, at school today, after lunch? Dylan? Got a nosebleed.
Mom: Which Dylan?
What I love about that exchange: 1) to a child, a classmate’s nosebleed is above-the-fold, 48-point-type, no-time-for-pleasantries breaking …

Midtown Humanity On Parade, Volume 1
May 24, 2007 – 4:48 PM | 49 Comments

I remember my 17-year-old body — not well, because I had it half a lifetime ago, but I remember it, and my only regret about it is that I had to use it at a …

Awww.
April 30, 2007 – 10:34 PM | No Comment

Thanks in no small part to you guys, I passed my Star Walker AIDS Walk donations goal in no time at all. Fantastic work, and I’ll hope to see you there.
Edited to add: I’ve upped …