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“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

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From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

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Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

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Articles in Stories, True and Otherwise

Hobey, Come Home
September 19, 2000 – 11:57 AM | No Comment

It started on Thursday night when Hobey went into The Throw-Up Crouch. Cat owners everywhere know The Throw-Up Crouch: the cat is going about his business, surveying his domain or taking a nap or administering …

Annals Of Birth Control
August 19, 2000 – 12:48 PM | No Comment

Every twenty-eight days or so, I find myself standing on the sidewalk in front of my neighborhood drugstore, taking deep cleansing breaths and thinking good karmic thoughts so that I don’t blow my stack and …

Arachnophobia
August 19, 2000 – 12:47 PM | 7 Comments

I’ve probably read Charlotte’s Web fifty times. I love that book, I love Charlotte the spider, and I always cry at the end when her little ballooning babies take to the wind. And I know …

Fashion Plotz
August 19, 2000 – 12:46 PM | No Comment

I don’t know that I have the necessary qualifications to comment on women’s fashion. Right now, I have on a v-neck t-shirt from J. Crew that dates back to the Bush administration, men’s Gap cargo …

Desert Jewel
August 19, 2000 – 12:44 PM | No Comment

I went to Las Vegas for the first time five years ago. I worked for the brand-new electronic publishing division of an established publishing company at that time, and two weeks before the Comdex convention, …

Wedding-Bell Blues
July 19, 2000 – 1:12 PM | No Comment

A week or so ago, I went to an outstandingly fun wedding. Well, okay, actually I went to an outstandingly fun wedding reception, since I plugged “Such-and-so Street” instead of “Such-and-so Avenue” into Yahoo’s mapfinder …

And Then There Were Two
July 19, 2000 – 1:09 PM | One Comment
And Then There Were Two

I grew up in a multi-cat household. My family always had two cats, starting with Ding, who actually beat me to the first-child punch by nearly a year. My parents have lots of pictures of …

All I Ever Wanted
July 19, 2000 – 12:51 PM | No Comment

I’ve just gotten back from a lovely four-day sojourn to California. The less said about the actual physical sojourning, the better, I suspect, although I would like to take this opportunity to thank the guy …

What’s In A Name?
June 19, 2000 – 1:14 PM | No Comment

I am cheap. I am also an inveterate impulse buyer with a hillock of credit-card debt, and I will probably wind up with “the Will Rogers of shoes” carved on my tombstone, given that I …

Focus, Straight Boy-san
May 19, 2000 – 2:32 PM | No Comment

Ernie and I had a lengthy conversation the other day, as we do almost every day, because we can never just get by with the “hey, how’s it going” check-in and have to complain about …