Yesterday, I received a delightful thank-you note in the mail from the White Russian, her partner Drummer, and their toddler for the holiday gifts I got her and the fam. Yes, the winter holidays. Yes, …

Okay, friends: I need your help. I just stepped dead in a post-snow, melty pile of dog crap. Fortunately, for once, I had on shoes with smooth soles — but 1) I usually don’t (see: …

tweedious. adj. 1. portmanteau of “twee” and “tedious.” 2. portmanteau of “tweet” and “tedious.”
I assumed the first definition is the obvious one, but when I said the word aloud with no context, Wing defined it …

My initial definition for “slam-drunk” was as follows:
slam-drunk. n. A beverage guaranteed to give you a working buzz-on in a single serving. (“The Gibsons at Oyster Bar are a slam-drunk, man.”)
But now I feel as …

Then it took a week and a half before the graduate assistant was asked to tell his story to Curley and Gary Schultz, who oversaw the Penn State University police department. And then, the grand …

potaper cut: n. A paper-cut-esque incision of the finger or knuckle caused by a very crisp potato chip. See also: “tuber-cuticle-osis.”

Abraham Lincoln passed his last hours in a cramped back bedroom in a boardinghouse across the street from Ford’s Theater, mercifully unconscious, folded awkwardly onto a bed too short for him, laboring to breathe. A …

I just spent an hour playing cards on our new backyard deck with Mr. S and Gen. All quiet on the Brooklyn front, except for one romantically desperate cricket who didn’t get the memo. “Um: …

I had a hotel room reserved, near Williamsport. It seemed prudent. I wanted to get home, but not to push too hard. The little wrench that appears on the dashboard when it’s time to bring …

I wished I could stay at the hotel longer. So big! Such good coffee in the lobby! So tired of portaging my bags in and out and up and down, getting stuck in doors, making …